Page 54 of All the Forbidden Things

“Nothing wrong with that, and you shouldn’t feel guilty, just enjoy every moment.”

“Turn this shit off. This bloke’s voice is crap,” Jake calls out around a mouthful of food.

Without turning, I flip him my middle finger and ask Billie, “You want me to take her so you can get some dinner?”

“She seems to have gone right off now. I think she likes your voice.”

“She prefers Ed Sheeran.”

“The girl has good taste,” Billie states while laying Layla gently down in her crib. “His music is good, but your voice is way better.”

She turns and faces me, and she’s too close. I’m too close. We’re too close. I can smell her: citrus and something fresh, soap powder or fabric softener. Her lips are shiny, with the remnants of a small cut on the bottom one, and I’d really like to kiss it away. That electrical current starts buzzing through me again. It wraps around my wrist, and my hand jerks, causing it to brush against hers, shocking me, shocking us both. We flinch simultaneously at the contact, but neither of us steps back.

This is bad.

Very. Fucking. Bad.

“You two gonna come and eat, or just stare at the baby all afternoon?” Kenzie calls out.

We both turn, and I watch, almost in slow motion, as Jake’s mouth quite literally falls open.Fuck mehe silently mouths. My hand possessively lands at the small of Billie’s back as we move towards the kitchen. My hand feels good there. Feels right, even though I know it’s oh so fucking wrong.

I glare at Jake as we move, hoping the look I’m giving him screams: “Take your fucking eyes off her.”

He frowns, his eyes move around the room as if he’s trying to work out what he’s done wrong before landing back on me. His glance slices from me to Billie, and he grins, nods, and shoves a roast potato into his fat mouth.

Billie and I stand side by side as we fill our plates. She loves cauliflower and broccoli cheese but is not a fan of pumpkin in any way shape or form. I’ve no fucking clue why I’m storing this information. I don’t know much about anything other than the fact I love that she’s piled her plate with five roast potatoes and three Yorkshire puddings. This girl has an appetite and does not care who knows it.

We join everyone else at my large dining table and sit opposite each other.

“I’ve decided,” announces Mel, “you are gonna have a drink, and you're gonna chill this afternoon. Layla is coming home with us.” I look up the instant she says my daughter’s name. “And you can get an entire night’s sleep. I’ll bring her back in the morning, or you can come get her.”

“What? Why?” I’m shaking my head as I ask, my heart rate already rising at the thought of Layla not sleeping under the same roof as me.

“You look exhausted, Max.” Mel tilts her head to the side as she watches me from across the table. “Looking after a newborn is hard enough when there are two people, I don’t even want to know how hard it is for you to do alone.”

“Mum stays over. Besides, she’s sleeping through now. She has her last feed around midnight and doesn’t wake until six.”

“And you sleep soundly during that time, or do you stir with every little noise she makes?” Mel asks knowingly.

“Of course I don’t sleep soundly, I’m her dad. I’ll probably never sleep soundly again.”

Every other conversation around the table has grown quiet, and I know without even taking my eyes from Mel that they’re all looking at me, watching, waiting on my reaction.

“I appreciate the offer, Mel, but honestly, I’m fine.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do going forward?” Kenzie asks.

“Get himself a hot Swedish Au Pair with legs up to her armpits and a massive—”

Mel throws a napkin across the table at Jake.

He catches it. “Massive smile. I was gonna say a massivesmile.”

“Billie’s a nanny. She’ll be looking for a job once she’s all healed up.” Kenzie very casually drops her bomb into the conversation.

“Fuck yeah, why didn’t we think of that sooner?” Jake states.

No. Definitely not.