Page 139 of All the Forbidden Things

He empties his glass again, refills it and tops up mine with the last of what’s in the bottle.

“There’s video footage of me. Passed out on the bed with a bottle lying next to me, Layla screaming in her cot.”

My heart sinks, my eyelids feel like they’re being dragged with it and I can’t keep them open.

“Max,” I whisper his name as I turn my head to face him.

“It’s not even that, Bamm, not on its own. It’s all of it added together.”

“I don’t understand,” I admit. “What do you mean all of it added together?”

“The way they set you up by reporting you to child protection, the images of me and you on my bed, me on my bed, you in the pub, and staggering up the drive drunk, it’s all of it added together.”

I’m still not sure I understand, I’m even less sure I want to.

“If I don’t meet her demands, one of them being that I have to remove you from Layla’s life, she’s going to fight me for custody.”

I suddenly feel like I’m underwater, my head and my ears fill with pressure. Anger, fear, sadness, it all churns inside me, and it takes a moment before I can focus again.

“Turns out, I have no fucking clue who the woman I married even is. She has previous charges for drunk driving and possession, if we go to court, with her record, my past, the images of me passed out …” He trails off, so I fill the pause for him.

“The fact you employed a drunk like me as a nanny?”

“All of it, Bamm. No family court, or judge would likely let either of us have custody.”

“So what would that mean for Layla? Where would she go? Surely she wouldn’t risk them taking her into—”

“That’s exactly what she’s willing to risk, or at least threatening to.”

I finish my wine and sit back on the sofa. My hearts banging so hard, I swear it’s making the cushion at my back vibrate.

Max leans back next to me. We both stare straight ahead. I process my thoughts. It’s not hard. We have no choices. There’s only one thing we can do.

“So, seeing as I’m all about the adulting lately, the way I see it, we have no choice, Max, I need to go.”

His hand reaches across the devastating space between us and covers mine.

“I’m not sure I’m a fan of your adulting.”

“I’m not sure we have a choice.”

“Would you wait for me? Aaron seems to think that after a year or so—”

“I’ll wait, of course I’ll wait, but for now, I need to go. We need to let the dust settle. Get custody of Layla sorted, your divorce settled, all while I’m out of the picture.”

“I fucking hate this. Hate that everything’s so out of our control.”

“Welcome to my world. That’s how I feel about every major life event I’ve had. Even loving you wasn’t a conscious choice.”

I’m still staring straight into the room, but Iknowhis head just spun towards me and I canfeelhis eyes burning a path to the side of my head. He yanks on my hand.

“Hey. Look at me and say that again.”

I aim my face in his direction and meet his eyes.

“Welcome to my world?”

Still holding my hand, he pulls me into him. I straddle his lap and rake my fingers through his hair as I stare down at him.