Page 101 of All the Forbidden Things

She shifts from my lap and stands on unsteady legs. “I need . . . I need you to go.” She raises her hand and points towards the stairs that lead down to her front door. “It hurts to have you here . . . I can’t . . . I’ll get hurt.”

“You’re hurt? Who hurt you?”

Layla screams, but right now I need to work out what’s going on with Billie. I take Layla to the bedroom, lay her in the middle of the bed, leave the door open, so I can see her, and go back to Billie.

Wrapping her in my arms, I hold her against me while she just stands there limp.

“It hurts Max. It already hurts and nothing’s even happened, if you stay, it’ll be so much worse. I need you to go” She whispers.

“What hurts?”

“My heart . . . you . . . you hurt my heart.”

“Me? What did I do?” I step back but hold on to her by her shoulders.

She stares at my chest, her face wet with tears.

“Baby, please just tell me what I did to hurt you?”

Taking me by surprise, she twists out of my hold and shouts, “You need to go. You need to stop calling me baby, and you need to go.”

“I’m going nowhere. You can shout all you fucking like, but I’m going nowhere.”

Layla’s screaming, and I feel like my head’s about to erupt. Kicking the lengths of wood that make up the cot out of the way, I take Billie’s hand in mine, pull her over to the kitchen, and sit her on a stool at the worktop.

I fill the kettle with water and flip it on then fetch Layla from the bedroom. Her cries stop as soon as I lift her, but in the exact same way Billie is, she continues to let out little sobs.

“I’m going to change her and get her a bottle, and then you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on.” As much as I try to rein it in, my tone is angry.

Staring at the floor, Billie shakes her head. “Did you fuck Whitney last night?” She turns her tear-stained face until her watery, blue eyes meet mine.

My mouth drops open, and it takes a few moments before I respond. “What?”

Her breaths come in short choppy pants like she’s in pain, and her face is suddenly the saddest sight I’ve ever witnessed. She nods and breathes in deeply through her nose as I watch her attempt to pull herself together.

“I’m sorry, Max, it’s my fault. I felt the crackle, and I thought you felt it too. I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about? No, absolutely not. I did not fuck Whitney last night. I’ve not fucked Whitney in months, since before Layla was born.”

She frowns, her narrowed eyes brimming with disbelief.

“Bamm”—I step towards her— “I swear I have not fucked anyone, not in a long while. Why would you think that? Why would you think I’d fuck Whitney?”

She closes her eyes and presses her fingers into her forehead.

I have a horrible, horrible sensation starting to bubble in my belly. Billie remains silent as I retrieve a bottle from Layla’s bag, place it in a jug I found in one of the cupboards, and proceed to pour the hot water around it.

My eyes dart between what I’m doing and the forlorn look marring Billie’s pretty face. The only sound is Grover Washington’s soulful voice singing about just the two of us. And when I sway and sing into Layla’s ear while waiting for the formula to heat, I feel Billie’s eyes on me. I turn to catch her gaze creeping from my toes, up the length of my body, and stopping when it eventually meets mine. It’s there, instantly, that arc of electricity.

“The crackle, Bamm, you feel it? ’Coz I sure as fuck do.”

I don’t hesitate this time. I move and position myself between her legs, where she sits on the stool. I still have Layla held in place against my chest with my left hand, and with my right, I reach out and cup the side of her face, brushing my thumb gently across her cheekbone and swiping away the tears still sitting there.

“Did someone tell you I slept with Whitney last night?”

She leans into my touch and gives the barest shake of her head while sliding her wide blue eyes from mine to stare at the floor.

“No, Bamm, I want you to look at me and tell me why you thought I’d do such a thing. You know how I feel about Whitney, and I thought you knew how I feel about you.”