Page 149 of All the Forbidden Things

“Not happening. I don’t wanna be fifty-eight and pregnant. Besides, you’ll be ninety-eight by then and probably won’t be able to get it up.”

Max gives up the search for the toilet roll, slides out of me, and climbs out of bed. I watch his arse in the lamplight as he heads into the tiny en suite attached to the bedroom, reappearing a few seconds later and throwing a toilet roll at me. It hits me on the head and bounces to the floor.

“Great shot, Grandad, you need to get your eyes tested.”

He moves so quickly I have no time to react. Landing on top of me, he rolls us so that I’m on top of him.

“Keep taking the piss out of my age, and I’m gonna put triplets in your belly just to show you how fucking old I’m not.”

“Careful what you wish for. My mum’s a twin.”

He frowns. “Really?”

“Why would I lie?”

“I don’t know, Bamm. I never really know what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”

“Good, I like to keep you on your toes, but just an F-Y-I, lately, all I can think about is you, your dick, and the next time it’s gonna be inside me.”

“I like that kind of thinking.”

“I like that you like that kinda thinking.”

He frowns, and then his face screws up in a look of disgust.

“What?” I ask. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m lying in the wet patch. My own jizz is stuck to my arse cheek.”

“Oh no, all those squashed half-babies.”

He adjusts us so he’s back on top. “If you’re trying to get me pregnant by laying me in the wet patch, we need to revisit your sex education,” I tell him.

He rolls his eyes, kisses me gently on the mouth, and reaches to the floor for his Carnage T-shirt, which I’ve been wearing to bed.

“Put this on, it’s getting cold.”

“Mmm, Marley and Maca to keep me warm.”

“I’m gonna burn that fucking thing.”

I hold up my arms, and he pulls it over my head.

“You do, and I’ll set your Gibson on fire.”

“You wouldn’t—forget it, yes you would. The T-shirt’s safe.”

I yawn. “We should sleep, we’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

Max has arranged for us to look at four houses in Cornwall. It’s about a four-hour drive from Jay’s place, so we’ll get an early start and stay overnight. It’ll be my first time being seen out in public with Max, and I've not stopped wondering how he’ll introduce me to the agent we’re meeting.

“Are you excited?” I ask as he spoons me from behind. My T-shirt is pulled up, and he’s lazily drawing patterns on my belly.

“I’m excited to find us a house and make a fresh start out of London. I’m excited to finally start ourus.” He kisses the back of my neck and squeezes his arms around me a little tighter. “I just want that, Bamm. Our time, ourus. You, me, Layla, and all the babies we’re gonna make. I want things to be settled, no drama. I wanna be loved by you, our children, our dogs and pygmy-goats. I want it all—everything that’s out there waiting for you, me, and ourus.”

I turn around and face him. “I’mexcited.”

“Tell me, what is it you’re excited about?”