Page 29

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Eva

Around two in the afternoon, we pull up outside the care home my dad will undoubtedly be moving into. On the few occasions I have spoken to Mum lately, she’s all but confirmed it. She’s seen the place without me, and I know how keen she is for him to move here. I can hear it in her voice. Can see it on her face when we FaceTime. This isn’t just about my dad anymore, but my mum, too.

Luke turns off the rumbling engine, his hand falling to my leg in a reassuring move.

I look at him then to Liam who’s sound asleep in his car seat. “He looks so peaceful.”

“Do you wake him once he’s fallen asleep?”

I laugh under my breath then double take. “God no,” I chuckle, seeing his serious eyes on me. “Once the beast is asleep, you leave him.”

Luke laughs quietly with me, his fingers tightening on my leg. “Want me to wait with him while you go in then?” I feel Luke’s thumb run a light stroke over my jeans.

My head turns to face him at the exact same time he looks out the front window. “Will you sing to him if he wakes up?” I rest my hand gently on his arm, mirroring his touch on my leg.

He looks back as the sound of traffic echoes, and the soft blows of Liam’s breathing fill the car. Dark eyes shimmer at me, the endless stories unfolding like the pages of a book. I can see right through the windows to his past, every emotion being felt so vividly at my simple question. I watch as he swallows, his teeth pressing together where he’s trying to be strong.

He nods, and unbuckling my seatbelt, I lift my hand to the side of his face. “You have the kindest soul, Luke Jones.”

He breathes out a firm breath, my words close to sending him over the edge.

Deep down, I know seeing Liam take so much interest in him, has filled Luke with indescribable pride. “I know he’s safe with you.”

My confirming words make him smile. His dreamy eyes turn round. “Thank you.”

Reaching forward, Luke leans closer, and he seals our lips together delicately.

“I won’t be long,” I promise him when we break away, knowing Mum is already inside with my dad.

“Take as long as you need, Little Warrior. I’m not going anywhere.” I know his words have double meaning.

I smile widely. “Good.” I open the door but dip down before I shut it. “Because I’m not letting you go ever again.”

It’s his turn to blush and smile at me before I close the door and begin heading inside. I know full well he’ll be watching me walk away. Good.

Seeing how he was with Liam earlier was doing everything to me. I wanted him so badly. Wanted to get my hands on his body after witnessing how bloody perfect he is. He doesn’t see himself as perfect. He doesn’t believe that I could see him that way. But I do. And if anything could be taken from the morning we’ve spent together, it’s that I want to give myself over to him.

Pulling out my phone, I send him a text.

Did you pack the blindfold?

My text is bold. Leading. A thrill of pleasure trickles to my core. Between my thighs suddenly aches for his touch. When I look up and back to his car, I see him reading the message. The corner of his lip pulls, and the way he looks up through his lashes to see me, has me smiling nervously at him .

There’s the usual power and hotness I see, but it’s the overriding dominant look gracing his chiselled features which has me nibbling my bottom lip.

Amongst other things, yes

There’s more than the blindfold and the toy he had?

Such as?

The fun comes from it being a surprise, LW

I don’t know how to reply.

Hearing a door open behind me, I spin on my heels and drop my phone into my bag. All desire for Luke is put on hold when my eyes drop to my dad in his wheelchair, being pushed by Mum.

A sinking feeling hits the bottom of my stomach. I wish we hadn’t moved him to it. The more he can do for himself, the more I feel he’ll remember. As daft as that sounds, the less he’s required to do, the more numb I see him become.

“Dad.” I step closer, leaning down and kissing his soft, cool cheek.

He looks at me, offering me a tender smile, but his green and grey eyes are pinched, unsure of who I am.

“Missed you,” I tell him. When I stand, I kiss Mum the same way and ask, “How is he?”

“He’s fine, love. He likes this place.”

I wonder how she can tell but think better than to say anything. “That’s good.”

Mum checks my expression. “Have you signed in at reception?”

Shaking my head, she tilts her chin for me to follow her through a set of double doors.

There are a few members of staff busily serving tea and biscuits in the open, communal room we walk by. Like any care home, a mixture of elderly people sit in different sized chairs, all facing inward in a semi-circle .

I don’t like the formality of it, but I can see the thought process behind it. Everyone is looking at each other. They’re not alone here, even if they’re not actually talking to one another, they’re able to see other people.

“Why are all these people in my living room?” Dad questions, confusion rife in his voice.

“They’re here to make sure you’re okay, darling,” Mum chimes, one hand rubbing his shoulder reassuringly.

“That’s nice,” Dad replies, completely unaware that this isn’t his house. This is a care home. Not his home or a place filled with people he knows, but a building which lacks the warmth and character of the safest place you should want to be on this earth.

Luke said home wasn’t something he’s had in a very long time. I can’t imagine not feeling connected to a place, or home being a place you fear. Ignoring the arctic shiver that zigzags through me, I take Dad’s chair making sure I’m the one to push him.

It takes forty minutes to walk around the home and talk to the various members of staff. My mind constantly flits from my dad to Luke, waiting in the car with Liam.

He hasn’t messaged to say anything’s wrong, but deep down I feel like that’s just as bad as hearing something. I’m trying my best not to run out of here and check everything’s alright.

“Thank you, Gina,” my mum says, embracing the manager. They’ve talked for the last ten minutes about Dad’s transition here. I want to argue that no one consulted me, but the hypocrisy of my thoughts has me looking at Dad with a heavy heart.

Mum’s voice lowers as she nods for me to go on whilst she and Gina finish their conversation.

I wheel Dad outside, pressing the button for the automatic doors to open. He remains quiet as we approach Luke’s car.

At first, I’m not sure what I’m looking at, but as I step closer, each lift of my foot slowing, I finally piece it together. Liam’s standing in the driver’s seat, both hands on the steering wheel. He’s looking out through the window, and I can tell he’s imagining he’s driving .

Luke spots us, opening his door and stepping out. His suit jacket is open, the simple act making him look less formal. “He woke up ten minutes ago.”

“Are you okay?” My eyes are jumping between the two of them.

“He’s fine,” Luke reassures me. “Loves pressing every button he can find.”

Baring my teeth, I cringe, wondering what damage has been done. “Yikes, sorry.”

Luke laughs, the both of us coming closer together. “He’s happy. Anyway, this is probably karma for what I did to your car.”

“That’s true,” I laugh back.

Catching my eye, I see Dad look up at Luke. “Who’s this?”

Luke glances at me before he takes a short step forward. “Mr Robinson, I’m Luke. I’m a friend of Eva’s.”

“Eva?”

Luke doesn’t give me his eyes, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. I wouldn’t hold it together. Dad’s inability to remember who I am is a gut punch I wasn’t expecting. It’s been years since he first forgot me.

The day still lives rent free in my head. It tore through me, and even though there have been moments over the years, it was always Mum who he didn’t remember. Now, she’s the one he remembers the most. Everything about that notion makes me dread this next stage of Dad’s life.

Is this it? His final days.

There’s no denying that if it is, the home will be a safe place for him. The days when he can’t remember anything, they’re the worst. The bleakest of hours spent watching him navigate a brain fog so thick, rather than ask questions, he stays mute, protecting himself from what he doesn’t understand.

He’s never been violent or shown aggression towards anyone. Whilst that’s something I am so thankful for, putting myself in his head space when times are really bad, it wears me down to a point where everything becomes challenging.

Painting with him always helps. I need to do it more— will do it more, as soon as I get the art therapy up and running.

Turning back to the home, Mum walks out seeing me swipe under my eyes. Her face drops momentarily, but a beaming smile spreads when she undoubtedly works out that the man standing behind me, is with me .

“Eva, sweetheart, are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

She looks past me, her eyes glued to Luke. “And this is?” Her words go up at the end.

“Mum, this is Luke. Luke, this is my Mum, Andrea.”

“Mrs Robinson.” Luke holds out his hand which Mum takes, before he leans towards her, politely kissing her cheek.

Her face flushes, but I see the way she appreciates his welcome. “Oh, call me Andrea.”

“Mum.”

“What?” She acts surprised by my tone. Stepping back from Luke, she swaps places with me, standing by her man as I move to stand by mine.

Luke wraps an arm around my waist, his hand above my hip comforting me with every gentle stroke of his thumb.

“Nanny!” Liam pulls all of our attention. He clambers from the car, and Mum beams at him with open arms as he comes running towards her.

“Hello, my angel. Have you been waiting like a good boy?”

Liam nods. “Car,” is all he says, pointing at Luke.

“Is this Luke’s car?” Mum copies his pointing finger, moving it to the black Audi.

It’s only now I notice one of the indicators is blinking.

Liam hums, wanting to go back to it.

Mum turns in my direction, looking down at Dad. “Grandpa used to drive a nice car like this.” I seriously doubt it was as nice as the sports car sitting beside us, but I know he loved anything with an engine. Spent hours in his garage, tinkering with anything he could get his hands on.

It went hand in hand with the shop. All part of his creative nature.

Liam waves at his grandpa.

My dad waves back a little more cautiously. “How old are you?” he sings happily at Liam.

Understandably, Liam is clueless to what he’s asking. “He’s two-and-a-half, Dad,” I tell him .

Dad looks at me with a smile before he looks at Mum, getting an approving nod. “That’s lovely. I have a daughter a few years older.”

My body stiffens instantly. I suck in a harsh breath of air.

Everyone remains silent until Luke asks, “How old is she, Sir?”

Dad’s head lifts to Luke. “She’s six. I think. She looks just like you.” His hand lifts to Liam.

I’m pulled into Luke’s body, relishing the hold he has on me.

“Beautiful girl she is. She’s at school today, but she’ll be back later this afternoon. Her mum will bring her.” Dad thinks to himself. “Andrea,” he then adds. “Yes, Andrea. Where’s she?”

“I’m here, darling,” Mum says gently.

Dad looks at her, his eyes swelling with unharnessed love. “There she is.”

Tears drip to my cheeks.

“I’m always here, my love.”

Their words are cutting through me like sharp splinters. It’s so heart-warming to listen to them talk, but at the same time, it carries so much pain and an overwhelming feeling of loss.

Dad looks energised at seeing Mum. With renewed life, he then looks past all of us. “I like that.” He lifts a shaky hand. “Bet she drives fast.”

I feel Luke take in a breath. “She does, Sir.”

Mum places Liam to his feet, and he runs back to the car, excited.

“Bet it’s never hit one hundred.”

Luke’s laugh is endearing. “She can, but I’ve never had anyone in the passenger seat willing to see it.”

I see where this is going.

“Will we have time before Eva’s home from school?” Dad asks Mum, sending another wave of tears to leak from my stinging eyes.

I should feel devastated that he can’t remember me for the woman I am, or his grandson. But the way he seems genuinely happy and motivated to do something, has me itching to give him whatever he wants.