Page 17

Chapter Fifteen

Eva

I reach for the clock. “Crap. Ten minutes!” Tussling with the thin straps of my dress, I take one final look at myself in the mirror.

“You’re panicking.”

“Of course I’m panicking.” I plump up my cheeks in the mirror, making them redden.

“Thought the idea was to change the way you’re going to do things?” Tiffany says down the line.

“It is, Tiff. And I will. I’m not doing things the same this time.” I sigh, letting my shoulders sag. “This has to be it with him.”

I hear her blow out her breath. “And he said he needs you?”

“Yes. Is that ridiculous?” I reach for my deodorant, my hand pausing mid-air, waiting for her answer.

“No, not ridiculous. It sounds like he’s in love with you, that’s all.”

“What?” I frown rolling on my deodorant and chucking it on my bed.

“I mean…” She pauses, thinking carefully what to say. “So, not only did this man become a ten before you two had sex, he ties you to his bed and tells you you’re the one he needs, and he’s smoking hot?”

I consider her for a moment, disbelief creeping in. It is too good to be true. “I’m an idiot.” I sit on the edge of the bed, pulling my phone closer and taking it off speaker. I hold it to my ear, my head back on my shoulders.

“Hey, no, you’re not an idiot. Don’t say that. What does Jamie make of it all? ”

I run my fingers over my temple. “She didn’t really say anything to be honest.”

Tiffany hums her annoyance. “Well, if it makes you happy, I think you should go for it. What have you got to lose? You’ve already slept with the man. Now you’ve got to get to know him.”

I laugh under my breath. “Bit backwards.” I sigh, flopping to lie on the bed. “Why does dating have to be so hard?”

“Dating? Lady, I told you, this is love. He told you he needed you from the first look.” I nod even though she can’t see. “That isn’t just dating, that’s… that’s soulmate shit.”

“Soulmate? That’s ridiculous.”

She huffs. “Love is ridiculous. It’s also crazy and can be utterly weird. But most importantly, it’s natural, and we should never try to understand why our hearts love the way they do. All you can do is embrace the things you love and the people who make you the happiest.” A single tear slips down the side of my face. “You hear me?”

I nod again, the back of my palm lifting to my mouth as if that will block the noise of me getting emotional. “Yes.”

“When was the last time you watched the sunset with your dad, or painted or even fixed something just for the sake of it?”

I gasp, my lips parting. It’s been over a month since I’ve watched a sunset. Last time we tried, Dad got upset because he’d forgotten who I was again. I’ve been too scared to try since. Each time he forgets, it’s always a little bit more. “Too long ago,” I reply truthfully.

She sighs. “Maybe after this weekend, you could look at doing that?” She hesitates before dragging out, “Or maybe try to get a loan for that studio you’ve been looking at.”

I sit upright on the bed, my hair loose around my shoulders. “What?”

“Don’t what me,” she laughs. “Jamie told me. Said she saw your computer when she was last round yours.”

“Jamie told you?”

“She did. Reckons it’s the best thing for you. Get you back to doing what you love most because let’s face it, we all know that isn’t working at Jacob’s bar. ”

I’m surprised she said anything to Tiffany. “I was just looking.” I was never going to act on it. It’s the perfect place to open, but it’s way out of my price range. I scoff. “I’d never get approved for a loan that big. The dream’s over.” I failed myself and my dad.

As if she can read my mind, Tiffany says, “He might be sick, but you’re allowed to have the dream as your own, which, forgive me if I’m wrong, isn’t slipping away at all. It’s merely on hold. Yes, the shop shut, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t open again. Who knows, you could come back ten times bigger and better. All this shit happens for a reason, Eva.”

I can’t stop my laugh. “So you’re always telling me. Hey, Tiff?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you think Jamie mentioned the studio to you and not me?” My question has me biting the inside of my lip. I wasn’t aware she knew I’d looked.

“Because, lady, we both have something in common.” I’m silent. “ You . We just want to see you happy.”

I let out a sigh. “I know. Oh, shit.”

“What?”

I jump up from the bed, one hand pulling back the blinds at my window. “His car’s just pulled up.”

“Oh, Lord, okay, just be yourself. And remember, make him work for it.”

“That’s not the point.”

“That why you chose to wear the thong?”

I spin around, my eyes darting to every corner of the room. “Okay, witch, how the hell do you know that?”

Over her chuckles, Tiffany says, “Because sexy underwear is empowering. He doesn’t need to see it, but you’ll know, and that in itself is enough to justify wearing it.”

“Crap. He’s getting out of the car. And he’s wearing a suit.” Always a suit.

“Okay, I should go.”

“Okay, bye.” I quickly hang up and adjust my hair before there’s a subtle knock on the door. Taking calming breaths, I spray some perfume then make my way downstairs .

Pulling it open slowly, fireworks light up inside me. He’s standing on my doorstep, one hand in its natural place in his pocket, the other behind his back.

He’s focused on me, and I know he watches as I run my greedy eyes all over his suited figure, drinking in his perfectness.

“Eva.”

I stop perving, my gaze switching to the bunch of flowers he holds out in front of him. A quick glance up, and I see a hopefulness looking back at me. Resisting him is going to be hard. “They’re beautiful.”

“Thanks. Picked them myself.”

I roll my eyes playfully. “That makes two of us then,” I say, stepping back and letting him in.

He walks inside but stops in front of me as I close the door behind him. “Two of us?”

We’re standing so close; my legs feel like they’re going to give way underneath me. “You’re nervous too.”

I suddenly hope I’m right and that his tendency to joke whenever he’s nervous is still the same. “Better now I’ve seen you.” He takes me in, his eyes leaving a hot trail as he rakes his gaze over my chest. “You look beautiful.” He then lowers his mouth, placing a kiss on my cheek. His smell, the closeness of him… I’m struggling not to turn my head and lose myself in him.

When he lifts his head, his exquisite lips so close to mine, I push my hand to his chest, my eyes unable to pull away from where they want to be. “Wait,” I say, before he kisses me and steals every slither of poise I have left.

“Eva?” He exhales a combination of uncertainty and annoyance.

Pulling back, I begin stepping away slowly. “I want to do things differently.”

Luke steps closer to me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, differently, Luke. The right way.”

I wait, watching him closely. He’s thinking. “Like a real date?”

That’s exactly what I mean . “Yes.” I keep my movements slow and steady, turning when I’m sure he’s going to follow me. I lift the flowers to my nose, inhaling their beautiful, sweet scent before reaching for a vase and placing them in some water .

When I turn, I crash into his hard chest, the air expelling from my lungs quicker than a tyre popping. “Shit.”

Luke doesn’t give me room to compose myself. His frame remains exactly where it is. In my way. Deliciously on show. Expertly blocking me. “What did you have in mind, Eva?”

Ignoring the way my heart quickens and my voice waivers, I manage to say, “Food. Conversation. Normal things that people do together.”

Luke’s face brightens, lifting my hopes that I haven’t put him off by wanting to do things right. “Sounds perfect.” He takes my hand in his, looking down as his thumb gently strokes over my knuckles. “I know just the place.”

I chew the inside of my mouth. “Is it expensive?”

Taking my head in his hands, his eyes never once leave my mouth. “What does it matter?”

His eyes dazzle, and I give him a smile. “It matters because money’s tight right now.”

Luke lets out a sigh, his thumb still delicately caressing my skin. “Is that why you shut your shop?”

My heart skips a beat. It still hurts that I had to. “Yes. I couldn’t keep up with it.”

Letting go of me, he stands a little straighter, not giving me any room. “Well, luckily for you, if we’re going to do things right, isn’t it customary for the man to treat a lady on a first date?”

The word date makes me giddy inside. “In some situations, yes, I suppose it is customary. But, you’ve already paid for a meal. It’s my turn.”

“No, technically I only paid for wine and olives. We never seem to get to the food part.”

I scrunch my face, still smiling at him, desperately trying not to breathe him in. “And technically, I could have paid a month’s nursery fee with that bottle of wine.”

He hesitates, his face falling slightly. “If I’m taking you on a date, then I’m paying,” he says sternly but meaningfully. “Plus, if it makes you feel any better, I still technically owe you for your car.”

“What about the bar tab?” I counter with a questioning smile .

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He grins, albeit looking at me a little perplexed, giving himself away.

Deep down, I knew it had to have been him who paid it. No one else in their right mind would clear all the debts the way he did. I can tell he feels bad. “Right.” We stare at each other for a few moments. “Anyway, we haven’t booked anywhere,” I point out.

Placing the gentlest of kisses on my lips, Luke’s warm breath hits my face, sending my heart into overdrive. “I just need to make a call, that’s all.”

I smile as he kisses me again, having to remind myself that I’m on a mission to know more about the man who said he needs me. “I have a lot to learn about you, Luke Jones.”

“I already told you I’ve wanted you since the first day we met, what more do you want to know?”

I laugh, and our kiss deepens. “I think you actually said need .”

He smiles as our heads turn. “Need. Want. Same thing when it comes to you,” he says breathily in between placing kisses.

Our heads turn again. The slow strokes of his tongue coax me in, making me slump against his body, my hands holding his arms digging into his muscles.

“What do you want to know, Eva?”

“Everything,” I eventually breathe when he lets me up for air.

Then our mouths are pushing against one another again, and I sigh into our kiss, the knot in my stomach unravelling with every curl of his fingers in my hair. “We need to stop.” I roll my head, my tongue lapping against his in hot, wet licks, definitely not trying to stop. I wish I could. But I can’t. I knew this would happen. I knew one taste would be one taste too much. I don’t know who I’m kidding. There’s no way I want to go out now. I know what Luke’s capable of in the bedroom.

“Okay.” With a quick snap, he withdraws, and I’m left a hot mess, one leg crossing against the other, completely bewildered and now a wanton mess. Luke smiles on a harsh breath, seeing my condition. “Let’s eat,” he simply says, like he wasn’t just eating me alive. He looks so composed up top, but I see the swelling behind his trousers, the pull of the material over his crotch .

When I blink, I smile to the ground, knowing this whole evening is going to be filled with me trying to resist him, and him doing things that make him utterly irresistible. I then run my fingers over my swollen lips, missing his contact. “Yes, let’s.”

Luke holds out a hand, allowing me to walk past him.

“I need my purse,” I tell him, sashaying as subtly as I can past him, knowing he’ll watch my arse as I go. Once out of sight, my feet are heavy on the carpet as I walk like a flustered mess to get my bag and my jacket. “Pull yourself together,” I whisper to myself. I don’t know why I feel so out of my depth. He’s already had me exposed and at his mercy, there’s no reason for me to be shaking the way that I am.

It’s Luke. And as much as there still is to know about him, he’s still unlike any man I’ve ever met.

Slipping on my heels, I walk back to where I left him. “Will you help me?”

He looks up from his phone, his eyes double taking, and I hold out my jacket, slowly stepping closer to him.

When he takes it off me, I smile, slipping my arm down one sleeve before looking over my shoulder and doing the same with the other.

I lift my hands to untuck my hair, but Luke stops me, his large hands gripping mine in a display of power. Flexing his fingers, he places mine by my side in slow motion, the tips of his fingers running over my hips as he lets me go.

Back straightening, I fight off the need to lean into him, holding my breath.

His lips brush against my ear. “Allow me.” He scoops up the long trails tucked under my jacket, then slowly pulls them free, readjusting the waves until he’s satisfied they’re perfect. Just the feel of his hands on me has my eyes closing a fraction, a soft hum unexpectedly leaving me. “Are you okay?” he asks, and I know he’s grinning.

I swallow the lump caught in my throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I turn to face him, looking up and finding his steely gaze lost in apparent thought.

“You’re blushing.”

“So are you,” I say back, noticing a glow in his eyes and a flush on his sculptured face. Lord help me, he’s perfect.

Luke’s lips press into a straight line as he steps back for me to lead the way .

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Eva,” he all but grumbles as he dips needing to adjust his trousers.

I smile with amusement as I open the front door, hearing frustration in his voice.

Yes, I could easily sack this night off and dive under the sheets with him. But for some unbeknownst reason, he thinks I’m the one.

Is it love?

The thought hits me like a tonne of bricks. My face falls hearing him close the front door. Walking, I go and stand by his car, self-doubt automatically kicking in. Clocking my reflection in the window, I struggle to work out why someone like him would want to love a woman like me. I don’t bring him anything. I haven’t got anything to my name. I am me, and when I see who he now is, I realise we really are worlds apart from each other. This is a stupid idea. This is never going to work.

“What’s troubling you, Little Warrior?”

I mentally curse myself for failing to hide my sudden worries. My eyes snap up like an elastic band breaking in two. “Nothing,” I splutter, abruptly overthinking every life decision I’ve ever made, like now is the perfect time to do so.

Luke walks to my side. “Tell me.”

I lift a hand to my head, unsure of how to say it. Perhaps if he had come back less flashy and pristine, then maybe I wouldn’t be mentally torturing myself. Whatever he does, whoever he’s become, he’s accomplished that in a relatively short amount of time. Knowing I shouldn’t compare myself or judge others, I still can’t help wonder how he did it. I can’t see how someone like him and someone like me fit together.

Looking down at his pricey car, I say the first thing that comes to me. “You don’t work for a cleaning company, do you?”

He moves closer, one thumb running light strokes over his bottom lip. “No, Eva, I don’t.”

My stomach drops, my eyes narrow on his. “Why lie? ”

He remains silent for an eternity before he too looks at his car, then back to me. His expression is serious, his eyes are poised and glittering in the late evening sun. “Because I didn’t want you to run if you found out the truth.”

Our date hasn’t even started and I’m already apprehensive about what I’m going to find out about him. “The truth? What could be so bad that you don’t want to tell me?” My eyes jump between his as I remember. “Torture. You said you were tortured, back in the shop.” My heart rate accelerates faster than a flash of lightning.

“Get in the car, Eva.”

Underneath me, the ground feels like it begins to sink. My feet want to run, but I couldn’t get them to move even if I tried. I can see the pain and anguish running through him. His features harden. Blackened lines appear on his face. Whatever he’s about to tell me, I can’t be sure I won’t run. I can’t imagine how bad it could be, but will it be that bad I can’t stay and find out more? “Not until you tell me what it is that you do.”

He sighs. “I can’t.” There’s pain in his voice.

“Then I can’t get in the car with you.” It’s as simple as that. Luke’s face turns bleak when I raise my foot, ready to go back inside.

“Please, if you get in the car, I promise you, you’ll learn anything you want to know about me.”

“I want to know everything, Luke. All of your truths, I’m going to need them this time.”

He sighs a little heavier, but I see him conceding. He might not want to, but his need to have me outweighs the fear of me leaving.

Opening the door for me, he asks, “Promise me one thing?”

I hold his gaze, nodding my head in the slightest of movements.

“Promise me when you hear my truths, you won’t hate me.”

“I won’t—”

“Really, promise me, Eva, because if you break it, it’ll break everything.” His voice raises. Pain mixes with terror behind his eyes. They widen before he’s regarding me with fear, his breathing turning heavy like he can’t control it.

“Hey.” I lift a hand to his cheek, waiting until he focuses on me. “I promise. ”

The festering darkness trying to hijack the composed man I know, slowly steps back into the shadows. Luke regards me, his eyes eventually softening. “I’ve killed people, Eva.” The words roll off his tongue before I can get into his car.

I stand straight, my body rigid with unwarranted uncertainty.

“Not for fun or because I like doing it, but because I had to.”

He keeps spilling his words until something submerges inside me. I can’t tell if it’s my heart or my stomach bottoming out, making me feel utterly struck with shame and doubt. I never expected him to say words like the ones he just did. Kills people? Because he had to? My trust in people has often been misplaced, but I never thought Luke could be so cruel as to make this a joke.

Just when I think about slapping him, an unexpected rumble rattles through my chest when I look at him waiting for me to say something. I let out a disbelieving laugh, bending at the waist, one hand gripping his arm holding the door open. I laugh that hard at the absurd way he chooses to mock me, I have to cross one leg over the other to steady myself.

“What’s so funny?”

His question sends me on another wave of hysterics. “Please, stop.”

“Eva,” he growls, like I’m the one being rude here.

“No, Luke.” I grip his arm tighter, pulling myself to stand straight. I wipe under my eyes; pretty sure I’m ruining my makeup. “That was a good one,” I laugh on a sigh, grateful I didn’t wet myself. “You didn’t lose your sense of humour; I’ll give you that.”

Luke looks at me deadpan.

There’s nothing behind his dark eyes.

It’s just empty.

A void of no emotion. No edge of a smile or hint of him breaking.

Looking over every inch of his face, I take a breath, slowing my laughing. “You’re serious?” I ask him, one hand swiping underneath my eye as my breathing settles at an alarming rate.

His jaw tenses. I don’t need confirmation. I can tell he’s not lying by how he holds my gaze.

Dropping my hand to my side, we stare at each other, a million silent pleas and thoughts zipping through the air around us. My blood turns cold. My legs begin to shiver. Every time I open my mouth to say something, the words get lost, the sensation of being strangled creeping up on me.

When I turn my face away from him, my eyes fog, thick tears filling my vision.

“You promised not to hate me.”

I expel a laugh on a breath that only causes my tears to spill. “Yes, I did, before I knew you would say something like that.” I catch a tear on my lip, swiping it away.

Hearing his feet scrape the tarmac, his finger then slides under my chin.

I move to pull away, but quickly realise I’m trapped between Luke and the car.

He sees me panic and drops his hold, but I have no doubt he’d stop me if I choose to run. I have every right to, if what he’s saying is the truth. But how? How does any of what he’s just said make any sense?

Taking a deep breath of self-confidence, I turn back to him, worry evident in his eyes. “Is this your flaw?”

Luke gives me a mild shake of his head. “I have plenty of flaws, Eva. This is just one of them.”

I’ve seen Luke when he had nothing. When he was so lost, he didn’t even know how to order drinks in a bar. He must have spent so long in prison to be so clueless as to the workings of the real world. “Is that what you did to get locked away? Killed people?”

He frowns, anger replacing his worry. “You think I’m a stone-cold killer?”

I smile wide, my eyes spreading with false amusement. “At this stage, yes, that’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

“I’m not,” he barks, shaking his head. “Not entirely.”

“Oh, so that makes it okay?”

“Eva, please,” he protests. “Please let me try to do this right. I can explain why I do what I do, but not here. Not like this.”

I cross my arms, chancing a glance back at my house.

“You’re safe with me, Little Warrior. I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that. ”

I shake my head; pretty sure I’m going out of my mind. If I walk away now, it would take time, but eventually I’d get over him. Three years wasn’t enough, but I could do it. Maybe. Or I can go with him, hear what he has to say. Ultimately, I made him a promise not to hate him, and whether I hate what he says or how he tells me, he knows I won’t break it.