Page 27

Chapter Twenty-Five

Luke

After dropping Eva in town, I make my way to meet Adam and Carrie. The past week has been full on in every way imaginable. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of having her and Liam so close to me; the kid’s the coolest little boy I’ve ever known, but I can see how the three of us staying in a hotel room is beginning to take its toll on them both.

I haven’t slept properly since they showed up there, too anxious and caught up in my own head to sleep. I don’t have the time for rest. Tomorrow, I’m supposed to be heading to collect Zoran his money. The fucker had me by the balls when he brought me Stefan , and he knew it.

I made sure Evan Matthews got what he deserved. I didn’t allow Zoran to help clean up, either. Regardless of what he said, my rule never to be in anyone’s debt played constantly on my mind. I knew the second Zoran said it was him, I’d be in his clutches. I took the burner phone as instructed, and was told to wait for further details.

Hearing Evan call me his pretty little boy, started a swirling anger I’ve not felt in a long time. I was thrown right back to my bedroom, seeing him walking in with his hood up. Face covered.

The sick bastard had had my name inked on him like I was some sort of fucking trophy. I burned it off, and it was the single simplest thing I’ve ever done; getting retribution for the small boy I once was. The one who lived every day wishing he was dead, because death would have been so much easier than living.

They treated me with a depravity you wouldn’t want to dream about. I returned their actions with my savagery.

I could have done more—would have, had it not been for us being in Zoran’s office. I didn’t want him holding anything more over me. I’ll get him his money, but only for Eva. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t care about coming back. Now, I have everything to come back for.

She knows my truths; the hidden secrets of my childhood that only started plaguing me in their entirety the second I stepped into the outside world. I was expecting her to run the second I broke down on her the other night, convinced myself that she’d want nothing more to do with me.

How wrong I was.

She wants me, and for some wildly unbelievable reason, she loves me. Fucking love . The thing I thought meant something so different. The word that used to make me believe I meant something to my mother. I know I didn’t. And looking back, she had issues beyond anything I could have understood at such a young age.

Pulling up at the agreed location, I immediately spot Carrie and Adam smoking out front.

I step out from my car and cautiously make my way to them, seeing them both look me up and down.

“You look like shit,” Adam says, greeting me as I approach.

I watch as he throws his cigarette to the ground. “Pick that up,” I demand, pointing at the used butt sizzling on the floor.

Carrie laughs under her breath. “You’re so fucking weird,” she tells me, holding out her hand.

“No, I’m just fucking tired.” I pass her the burner from Zoran. It’s customary for her to check anything we’re given. Adam’s watching me, and my eyes widen when he just stands there like a lemon. “Well? Pick it up or I’ll fine you for being so disgusting.”

The condescending eye roll and low mutters under his breath are the least of my problems right now. “He in there?” I ask them both .

Adam discards his cigarette in the bin before he looks at Carrie. “You want to tell him?”

“Tell me what?” I look between them both.

Adam steps closer, his expression sombre. “Marcus can’t make it.”

“He what? ” I ask firmly, hackles instantly rising.

Carrie lifts her cigarette to her lips. “Said he had business elsewhere. He’s going to call Adam.”

The smoke from her cigarette plumes into the air, polluting it. “What business? Where?”

“We don’t know,” Adam says with some finality to his tone. “He called saying he’d talk over the phone because he needed to be somewhere else. He didn’t say anymore.”

Interesting . “Anyone get the feeling we’ve been shunned?” I pull out my phone and immediately find his contact, ready to have it out with him.

“That’s what I said.” Carrie’s singing voice and head tilt towards Adam, makes me think he disagrees.

I throw a look Adam’s way. “Talk.”

He sighs as he passes me, walking past Carrie, the pair of them exchanging a stern look before we’re inside, heading towards a free table.

Like every time we meet, it’s at no place in particular, no one set location to conduct business. After tomorrow, I don’t want to be found by anyone ever again. Unless of course it’s by the woman who sees me for who I really am.

Shaking my head, I listen to Adam talk as he opens up his laptop.

“The night we found out Zoran had met with Marcus, we now know it’s because they want you to work for them, right?”

Carrie and I nod in unison as she places our usual order via an app, rather than going to the counter. It still baffles me that can be done.

“And Zoran knows whoever gave Marcus intel, gave him the wrong intel.” Again, I nod. “So, I did a little digging and hacked his email, which,” he lifts a stiff finger between us, “if he ever finds out he’s going to fucking kill me, but there was something addressed from you.” He angles his hand towards Carrie.

“From me?” She bolts upright in her chair, grabbing the laptop and swinging it around so that she can see. “I didn’ t send him shit.”

Adam taps the table with his fingers. “I guessed that.”

Carrie’s eyes dart across the screen. “What the fuck is this?”

It’s my turn to move the laptop. When I see the image, it’s of the identification card. The same one I was given from Marcus as my lead to Evan. “That’s the Quasimodo looking motherfucker we know worked for Zoran.”

Adam’s phone rings, dancing across the table. All three of us look at each other. “It’s Marcus.”

I quickly say, “Let him do the talking, and don’t let him know you’re here.” I dip my head towards Carrie whose face is blazing with annoyance, but they both nod at my command.

Adam answers.

“Where are you?” Marcus immediately asks sternly.

Our coffees are brought to the table at that exact moment. “Coffee shop outside of town,” Adam replies.

The waitress places our coffees on the table.

“Luke with you?”

I show my face to the camera. “I’m here,” I announce, seeing a text from Eva come through on my phone. She’s with her friend, Tiffany, until I’m done here. Then I’m back to her. I miss Marcus ask me a question. When I look at the screen, he’s waiting for me to answer him. “Sorry,” I tell him. “What did you say?”

I look at Adam whose eyes have definitely widened at me.

“I said, you’re alive.”

Managing at least to keep some of my irritation at his statement locked away, I narrow my eyes. “You sound surprised,” I reply slowly.

He laughs to himself. “Surprised?” he echoes. “It’s called relief, Luke. I thought I’d lost you.”

I loom closer to the screen, keeping my tone lowered. “Then explain to me why you gave me false information on Evan Matthews in the first place?”

Marcus doesn’t move as a surprised smile pulls his cheek high on one side of his face. His hands are crossed on the desk he’s sitting behind. “Don’t forget who you work for, Luke. ”

Yeah. A gangster. That’s what Marcus is. I sense Adam flinch next to me. “I know who I work for, Marcus. What I don’t understand is why you’d give me someone who works for the fucking mafia.”

Pointing his finger at the screen, he says, “I went on what I got.”

My hand twitches on the table. “Which was?”

We wait anxiously to see if he divulges the truth Adam found. That his information came from Carrie’s email address. She would never have done anything like this. So, he’ll either lie about it, or he got played.

“I received an email from Carrie’s address.” Adam’s head picks up, relieved. “It simply said that it contained what I was looking for. The attachment was what I sent to you. An ID card with Evan’s address and picture.”

“It wasn’t him.” My voice is subdued.

Marcus nods, thinking to himself. “I know that now.”

“What did you find out?” Adam asks him.

Because we know when he met with Zoran he found out it was Zoran’s man.

He smiles like I’ve never seen him do before. “You fuckers are really going to interrogate me like this? Like I’m the one who fucked up here?”

“It’s not like that,” Adam starts, but the look I give him makes him shut his mouth with a snap.

“It’s exactly like that,” I counter, my head pivoting to the screen of Adam’s phone, one hand balling into a fist out of shot from Marcus. “You have never steered us wrong. Ever. Every job you’ve given Adam, we’ve done without any hiccups. We’ve collected your money, beaten men black and blue for you without any trouble. And you’re telling me finding one man is the hardest thing you could have done? Think about how that looks to us.”

I’m pissing him off. He shakes his head, pushing back in his chair. “Us? You’re fucking lucky I’m not in that room, Luke.”

I laugh this time. “Or what, Marcus? Because from where I’m sitting, you’re being played.”

“Played?” He stands from behind his desk in one rapid movement, shooing someone out of the room. I didn’t know anyone else was with him.

There’s a mutter and the sound of a woman’s voice before his attention is back on his screen. “What if it’s Carrie? ”

“No. It’s not her.” Trying my hardest not to look at the steam blowing from her ears on my right, I keep my gaze forward.

“What proof do you have she didn’t set us up?” he rushes out, exasperated.

“Proof? Carrie’s the fucking best at what she does, and you know it. This is amateur. Whoever you pulled in to help on your end, are you sure they can be trusted?”

“Pulled in? Luke, my business relies on discretion. The fewer people I pull in, the better. I didn’t ask anyone for help on this. The only reason I went with it was because of who it came from.”

I scoff. “You’re a loan shark, Marcus.” I wish this fucker would stay in his fucking box. “Your business runs on giving money to the greedy and us taking everything they have when they can’t pay it back.”

“Play it down, why don’t you. I didn’t hear you complaining when you reaped those rewards.”

He has no clue what I did with my rewards. The people who have and who will benefit from what I did with them.

Raking a hand down my face, I don’t want to be here anymore. “There’s no way Carrie falsified that ID.”

“And I didn’t know it was false until I spoke with Zoran,” he fires back. “He wanted blood for what happened. Still does I’m guessing. You need to be careful.”

Lifting my coffee, I take a sip. I can’t stand the frothy, skinny, whatever-this-shit-is, that they serve. I like my coffee simple. Black. No sugar. “You never said how he came to know it was me who finished off his man.”

Adam sips his drink to my left, the three of us listening closely.

Both of Marcus’ hands lift to his face. “When he asked to meet me, I showed him our defence; that who we took out couldn’t have been his man because his name was Evan Matthews, and was nothing more than a low-life criminal. I told him it was something personal to one of my guys.”

My hand flexes and curls under the table. His words confirm what Zoran told me.

“The second he looked at that ID, our defence was shattered.” Marcus runs his hands over his eyes in a tired manner. “He was staring at a picture of the man who worked for him. But I think there’s more here, Luke.”

My brow lifts, expectantly waiting for what he’s got to say.

“Men like Zoran always look at situations like this and try to take something for themselves. I should never have told him who we were looking for, but he said he was going to find him. If he does that before us, I think he’ll try to hand Evan over to you himself.”

My heart starts running faster than a runaway midnight train. “He already found him, Marcus.”

Adam nearly chokes on his coffee, looking at Carrie as she looks between the two of us. They didn’t know I was going to tell him.

“He what?” Marcus’ face falls flat, his eyes jumping to Adam who he can also see.

“He found Evan,” I repeat. “Gave him to me already.”

Scratching the back of his head, Marcus becomes frantic. He paces, pulling at his shirt. “And you’re sure it was him?”

I nod, not offering anything more. None of them know why I needed to get Evan.

“He said he would let me know if he found anything.”

“Well he did. Evan’s gone,” I spit.

He stops pacing, his hands resting on the back of his chair. “So, you’re done?”

Of course that would be his first thought. “I wouldn’t say done, Marcus. A threat was still made to my girl. Whoever left it knew where I’d be, or at the very least, knew who they were threatening would tell me.”

He sighs. “What’s next for us then?”

Honestly, I don’t know . “Tomorrow, I’m collecting Zoran his money. Adam’s going to come with me.”

Adam doesn’t smile or even grimace. He just gives me a subtle dip of his chin, letting me know he’s with me.

I return it. Grateful. “We need to show good faith. Like you said, he could have simply killed me. Him aside, we have bigger fucking problems now. Someone, for some reason, tried to set me up. They also sent a threat, and I think that same someone might be following me.” My eyes track to Adam.

“I found nothing on anyone,” he says sounding defeated, as Marcus and Carrie remain still. Listening.

“You need anything from me before tomorrow?”

I shake my head at Marcus.

“Okay. I’ll call you, Adam, if I hear anything.”

Adam leans forward towards the screen, ready to end the call.

“Oh, and, Carrie?” Marcus says, stunning all of us into a caught red-handed silence.

Carrie drops her chin.

My eyes lift, and I see Marcus shake his head mildly. “I’m sorry,” he says. When no one says anything more, he adds, “Three coffees being delivered to the table was a giveaway you were there.”

“I didn’t send you any emails.”

“I know. I should have spoken to you before I passed it onto Luke. I guess I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He can say that again. “We’ll talk to you soon.”

Adam ends the call after Marcus acknowledges my goodbye, dropping his phone to the table.

Steepling my hands in front of my face, I push my thumbs into the sockets of my eyes. Is this really happening?

“We believing him?” Carrie asks.

I look at her as she rests her elbows on the table. “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “All I know is the only people I really trust are sat at this table, and Eva.”

“How is she?” Adam wonders.

I haven’t told her that a few days ago someone down at the desk had been asking for me. Wanted to know which room I was staying in, apparently. Alarm bells have been fucking ringing ever since, which is why I made the decision to get us out of there.

Lifting my phone from the table, I type my reply as I answer him. “She’s good.”

Are you sure? I don’t want you to change your life for us at the drop of a hat.

You’re fast becoming my life, Eva. So, yes, I can, and I will.

She replies right away, bringing out a smile on my face.

Crazy

For you? Undoubtedly

What time are you finishing this morning?

Finishing now. I’m packed and I checked out of my room

They’re going to miss you staying there

Probably, but my future doesn’t lie in some hotel room

No?

No.

Before I forget, does Liam have a scooter or a bike?

No doubt my question will leave her stumped.

What???

Well, does he?

He has a balance bike

Perfect. We can swing by yours and grab it before I take you out

I have this thing with Mum and Dad

I didn’t forget, LW. I can take you there afterwards

The dots wiggle and stop a few times before her text comes through.

Definitely crazy

I laugh to myself.

See you soon

“I’m busy for the rest of the day,” I tell Adam and Carrie. “You two going to be okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Carrie says, as I stand from the table tucking my phone into my pocket.

Raising a suspicious brow, I can feel Adam’s eyes drilling into me. “What will you do?” They exchange a quick look, and I swiftly realise that I don’t want to know. “Actually, spare me the gory details. I’ll be at the skate park, then I’m with Eva’s parents for the rest of the afternoon.”

“Her parents?” Carrie questions, a smile as wide as the Amazon River spreading on her smart-arse face.

“Yes, her parents.” I turn to Adam who starts walking to the door, having grabbed his things from the table. Once we’re outside, I look up, filling my lungs with some fresh air. This morning has been long already. “I need you to be my eyes tomorrow. ”

“Of course,” Adam replies.

“What about me?” Carrie steps into view as I look at my car parked a little further down the road.

“I need you to watch Eva. At her house, I mean. Might do you some good to… well, you know.” Talking about my past isn’t something I’ve done, but Carrie shared hers with us when we first met.

She knows what I’m implying. That actually having other friends outside of me and Adam, especially girl friends, would be good for her. “I got it,” she says, silently telling me not to worry about her.

I smile and dip my chin knowing nothing more needs to be said, then turn to walk away.

Carries stops me, her arm resting on the sleeve of my jacket. I don’t wear short sleeves for this reason. The touch doesn’t burn like it does when on bare skin, but I retract my arm, hoping she doesn’t see my dislike. “Will you ever tell us why you went after Evan the way you did?”

“Leave it, Carrie,” Adam interjects instantly, throwing my vision to him. He looks at my arm, and I wait for his eyes to find mine again.

He can’t possibly know what really happened to me, but for the first time ever, the way his eyes are gaping, I see fear.

Fuck.

Carrie senses his tone and doesn’t say anything more, her fierce gaze not in line with the way she looks. Always so elegant, she really doesn’t look like she would get into business with a guy like Marcus.

Not saying another word I walk away and fall into the safety of my car. I see Carrie and Adam discussing something, Carrie’s arm movements animated while she talks to him.

Maybe if they knew my history, things would make more sense to them. It’s just never something I envisioned myself doing. Even during my therapy sessions inside, I hated sharing any piece of what happened to me. I kept most of the gory details to myself, even though with time I grew to know that the people I was talking to, would have read my files. They would have already known the gruesome secrets I was trying to hide .

The first time I said the word abuse out loud, I got back to my cell and was violently sick for hours. I was disgusted with myself to the point that I went into my shell and shut down everything else. It was only with time that I managed to contain the darkness festering inside me.

It hasn’t gone.

It still lives there.

It’s just smaller now. No longer a mammoth weight sat upon my shoulders, it now sits like a pebble in my pocket.

In some respects, if I hadn’t been behind bars, there’s no way I would have learned to control it the way I do.

There was a part of me that wondered whether coming out would be like setting off an atom bomb. That no amount of distance I made, or things I did to help pass the time would be able to keep things under wraps.

With Eva, it was different, and as I start my engine and begin making my way to her, I remember how understanding and supportive she was. Adam and Carrie would be the same. I know it in the deepest part of my soul. But would they look at me in a different light once they knew? Would they consider me ruined or in some way too damaged to continue being around them?

Would Sammie change her mind if she knew what happened?

It’s the first time I’ve ever allowed myself to think about anyone other than myself, and now Eva, knowing what happened. It’s always seemed so irrelevant to burden anybody else with something so horrific.

Why would I?

Seeing the look on Eva’s face when she heard I’d suffered abuse, filled me with a sense of belonging. Finally, someone important to me had heard—truly listened—to what I had endured. She never once looked at me with disdain. She didn’t shun me away or tell me anything I didn’t want to hear. She wasn’t a professional ticking boxes and simply doing their job.

All she did was show me that having something good and as pure as her in my life, throws everything into a new perspective.

Therapists used to tell us to think about better days, or times we loved. I had none, just a few faded memories of days spent with Sammie, Adam or my dad. When bad things happened constantly, it was hard to think about a time when things weren’t going wrong.

Now that I have Eva, a goodness in the form of my future, can finally be seen as clear as day.

Alone with my thoughts, I make it to the spot I dropped her at a little over an hour ago. It’s the same place she met her friend last week. She’s still inside the café with Tiffany, the pair of them sitting opposite each other, talking away. Stepping out of my car, I lean against the bonnet and find myself simply watching.

To anyone else, I probably look like a stalker. Sure, having Eva watched without her knowing wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do.

Her daily routines and day-to-day runnings were never anything I knew about. I didn’t know who her friends were. I didn’t know her favourite food or her favourite places to visit. I didn’t know she had Liam.

It was enough for me back then—simply knowing she was happy.

It’s not enough anymore. Now I need to be her happiness. The one who brings the shine out on her face. I need to be the oxygen she needs to breath and the light she needs in order to see.

My life has no purpose without Eva.