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Chapter Twenty-Three

Eva

Liam’s given the all clear later that evening. Packing up the few items he has, he plays contently with the cuddly toy Mum dropped off for him. I told her about the break-in, to which she demanded I stay at hers, but I have no intention of bringing any sort of drama close to her or my dad.

Having said his goodbyes, Ben left soon after Liam had fallen back to sleep. He didn’t make things difficult which I was half expecting, but once I had seen my mum and told her what happened, he left, promising to make a change.

Jamie also showed up at the hospital like I knew she would. She hasn’t left since.

“Here.” She hands me my bag.

“Thank you.”

She looks at Liam. “You’re sure you’re not going home?”

I shake my head. “No. Not yet. I will soon, but I need to make sure it won’t happen again.”

Jamie sighs, one hand rubbing her forehead like she’s stressed. “I saw the note when I went by to grab your stuff, Eva. Who would leave something like that?”

I frown, looking at Liam, knowing the safest place for both of us right now is with Luke. Even if the note is somehow connected to him. “I don’t know.”

“But you do know it has something to do with the guy you’re seeing?”

“Luke,” I say his name, making her check my expression. “His name is Luke, and I don’t know, Jamie. It has to be.” I move around the bed, picking up Liam in my arms. “But I won’t know for sure until I speak to him, see what he found out.”

Her eyes pinch together. “Found out? Is that why he’s not here?”

I start walking from our cubicle. “He’s dealing with it now.” I think. He hasn’t answered my calls after I messaged him saying we needed to talk. “If you can take me to the hotel, me and Liam will be fine there until the window is fixed at the very least.”

She hums, but her beautiful face is tainted with displeasure.

“Tell me about work and getting the contract,” I say lightly, trying to change the topic of conversation.

“No, I’m not telling you about it,” she snaps. “I’m mad with you.”

I gaze at her cautiously. “Why?”

“Because I’m worried about you.” We make it down to the front desk, smiling at the receptionist who doesn’t return it. Considering I completely ignored her when we arrived here, I can’t say I blame her.

“You don’t have to worry.”

The double doors whizz open, and I follow Jamie in the direction of her car.

“Still. I’m not happy about this.”

“I can see that.”

Nuzzling his face into my shoulder, Liam really is getting too heavy for me to carry.

I dip my legs, shimmying him further up my body as we walk in silence to Jamie’s car.

Opening the boot, I see she has our bags packed, clearly enough things for a few nights like I asked for. “Which hotel am I taking you to?” She doesn’t quite snap at me this time, but she waits with bated breath for my answer.

“It’s close to The Savoy,” I tell her, unable to look at her. I quickly throw my bag into the boot then move to open the door and buckle Liam in.

The drive is awkward. Jamie’s stress oozes from her as she pulls up outside the place I stayed at a few weeks ago. My mind suddenly drifts. What if he didn’t come back here after the time away? Jamie will never drop me off if she thinks I’m on my own .

Parking her car, we both climb out and walk around to the boot. Jamie’s looking up at the stunning exterior of the hotel. “So this is where he stays.”

I don’t like her condescending tone. My hands momentarily pause lifting my bags. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” she quickly fires at me. “I just mean, not a house or something low-key, he just pays for a room here?”

I shrug. “He had work up here.” I don’t understand why it matters.

Her eyes widen. “Looks like we’re both sleeping with big money.”

“It isn’t like that.” I liked Luke way before he had any of this.

“Well, you know where I am if you need anything.”

“I know. Thank you. And I’ve messaged Tiff. We’re meeting up tomorrow if you fancy joining us?”

“Can’t,” she says, slamming the boot shut, looking over my shoulder.

Footsteps suddenly approach from behind me. I follow Jamie’s eyes and turn to face who she’s looking at.

Luke’s watching me, his eyes tired—blacker than they were when he left the hospital this morning. “You’re here?” He sounds so lost and unsure.

“Of course I am.” I wasn’t sure where else to go.

“And Liam?” he asks, stepping closer. He doesn’t reach out or take me in his arms like I imagined he would.

“Luke, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says on a lost breath, sheer relief flooding him to the point I think he might pass out.

I go to open my mouth but Jamie coughs from behind me.

“Uh, Luke, this is Jamie, my friend and old housemate. Jamie, this is Luke. You two met at the function briefly.”

Luke fixes his eyes on Jamie, and they hold each other’s gazes for a long time before Luke holds out his hand.

Jamie glances down at it then refuses the olive branch by looking at me. “You call me if you need me.” She turns and walks to the driver’s door.

“I’m sorry,” I say to Luke under my breath, juggling the two bags as I move to open the rear door.

Liam is asleep when I open it, ducking down to reach for him .

Gentle hands place on my shoulders, the touch instantly calming. “I can get him.”

I stand back. “Thank you.” I smile up at Luke before he unbuckles Liam and effortlessly transfers him to his shoulder.

Taking a moment to appreciate him, I find myself getting lost in my thoughts when Jamie opens her door, the sound instantly pulling my attention to her.

“Thanks for the lift. Will you call me tomorrow if you change your mind about coffee?” I ask hopefully, her eyes dropping from Luke to me over the roof of her car.

“Maybe,” she concedes, sounding off with me.

Luke turns, giving us his back.

“I don’t like him,” she whispers, and I close my eyes dropping my head.

“Why not?”

Her hand gestures to the hotel. “He’s not good for you. Isn’t it weird that he stays here and someone threatens you at your home? Eva, I don’t think you’re safe with him. He’s got evil written all over him.”

Evil? My eyes are practically bulging from my sockets as her voice gets louder. Turning around to see if Luke heard, it’s clear that he did when he slowly turns, meeting Jamie’s fraught gaze with his head slightly lowered. He looks so serious.

“I’d give my life for Eva and her son.”

Jamie flusters, looking at me then back to Luke. “Get in the car, Eva.”

“What? No. Jamie, it’s fine. Please, I’m okay. Thank you for worrying about me. Go. I’ll call you in the morning.” I want her to hear my tone. She knows as well as the next person that I would never do anything to put Liam in danger. Why can’t she see that?

Jamie doesn’t take her eyes off Luke, and she doesn’t say another word as I choose a man over her. Seeing my betrayal swell behind her eyes, my heart sinks as she dips into her car and starts the engine.

I watch with tears forming when she drives away a little quicker than expected. I’ve upset one of my best friends. The thought churns my stomach.

Unable to move, Luke steps beside me, my son sound asleep in his arms. It hurts seeing Jamie so upset with me, but when I see how peaceful Liam is, and the delicate way in which the man holding him is looking at me, I take a breath, trying my best to give him a smile.

“Come on.” Luke nods his head, and I adjust the bag straps over my shoulders. We walk inside, stopping at the elevator door, watching the orange lights blink, indicating it’s coming. Once the door dings open, we step inside, neither of us saying a word.

It’s only now under the soft glow of the lights that I see Luke’s arms. We’re both still in our running gear from this morning, both in desperate need of a hot shower. Looking down, the ends of his grey hoodie are rolled back just enough for me to catch a sight of red splattered on his tattooed skin.

Blood?

I look up in a hurry, finding him looking at me. He checks his arm, effortlessly holding Liam with the other.

“Is that what I think it is?” I say gently, watching his eyes soften as they fall to the floor.

The elevator stops and the doors whir open.

Luke waits for me to move first. “Eva,” he says, when all I do is stare dead ahead of me.

“Are we safe here, Luke?” I don’t look at him.

He takes a deep breath. “You’re with me. Of course you are.”

I close my eyes, my fingers curling around the leather under my hold. Then I step forward, making it to the corridor, waiting for him to lead the way until he’s stopping outside the same room as last time.

We both walk in, and I drop my bags in the open space by the door.

“Do you want to put him straight down?” Luke asks me, turning to look at me as he puts the key on the side unit.

Scanning the ridiculously large room, I remember the last time I was here. “He’ll be fine over there.” I point to the plush sofa against the rear wall, suddenly not wanting to be in the way.

Luke’s body sags when he reads my expression. As if to prove a point, he steps forward towards the bed. He dips his body, pulling back the covers, expertly laying Liam down .

My eyes have started to swell. I unzip one of the bags looking for his cuddly toy. Reaching in, I grab it and find myself holding it tight as I walk to Liam. Luke’s standing by the side of the bed. I lean down and lift Liam’s arm, sliding Bingo underneath. He nuzzles his toy, and I take a moment simply breathing him in, kissing his hair and running a hand over his face.

When I step back, I realise I’m crying.

“Hey.” Luke pulls me into him, his strong arms enveloping me. “I’m sorry. So fucking sorry this happened because of me.”

My arms don’t immediately hold on to him, but as he begins pressing his lips to the top of my head, I reach up, scrunching handfuls of his hoodie between my fingers, sobbing into his chest.

We stay like this, gently swaying until Luke pulls back, taking my head in his hands. “I didn’t think you would come here.”

He’s not crying, but his dark eyes have misted over. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

He blinks, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. “But you said we needed to talk. I got your text late, but… I thought… I thought you meant that was it.” His head swings to look at Liam. “Your boy, he was hurt because of me.”

Gripping the material of his hoodie, I make sure to hold his gaze as I tell him, “Liam was not your fault.”

Visibly not following, Luke’s fingers flex on my skin. “What?”

I lick my dry lips. “It was Ben. Liam wasn’t hurt because of you.”

Luke collapses to his knees, his hands gripping onto me as though I’m the buoy keeping him afloat.

My hands instinctively fall to his soft, raven hair, holding him tight to me. “He’s safe now,” I manage to say, though my throat burns seeing his anguish.

“Fuck, Eva.” His head drops and he places his hands on his knees, trying to take deep breaths.

I can’t stand to see his despair, the pain he’s caused himself believing this is all on him. “Listen to me,” I start, dropping to his level and taking his face in between my hands. “You are not to blame for my little boy getting hurt.”

Tears swim in his eyes. It’s the first time I’ve seen him looking as lost as he did when I first met him. “Eva, things could have been so much worse.”

“But they’re not,” I try to calm him.

“But they could have been,” he protests, running a harsh hand down the front of his face, forcing me to drop my hold on him.

Stinging tears seep from my eyes. “It was his own father who did that to him, not you. Do you hear me? We’re safe with you. We need you to be the one to keep us safe, Luke.” I realise my words probably connect with him in more ways than one.

He closes his eyes, hearing me, taking every little bit of what I’m saying, in. Then he looks up, seeing me cry, waiting for him to move.

Swiping away his own tears, he slowly pulls his arms through the sleeves of his hoodie, before pulling it off, over his head. The ink on his skin swirls and dances as his arms flex. Then he rotates one of them, his eyes fixed on an ancient mark I haven’t noticed before.

Watching his lips part then slowly close, I see the internal battle with his demons. His past living so visibly on the surface.

“Who did that to you?”

I know the answer before he says it. “My mother.” His voice is so low, his words are barely audible. Lifting his hand, he scrubs at the skin as if he’s trying to erase the pain.

Hot tears flood my eyes as I watch him point to another scar, seeing his teeth grind together. The damaged surface is so expertly covered under the image of giant waves tumbling over one another, it’s clear why he had his body covered in tattoos. He’s hiding what happened to him, covering his wounds so that no one sees his truth. But I do. I see them. And I see him, like he’s the brightest star in the sky, I see him so clearly. Have done since the day I met him.

“This was from the knife they used to cut me loose after they’d finished.”

They? Knife? “Luke.” My choked sob has him shaking his head once. I lift my hand tracing the irregular line.

“The man who visited our house the most. He would tie me up, make me watch as he fed my mother drugs and had sex with her.” Bile rises to my mouth, and my movements slow on his arm. “He used to…” Luke stops himself, fear robbing hi s words.

“You don’t have to tell me.” I don’t like seeing him like this, but he abruptly swipes his tears, looking up to me.

“Yes, I do. You need to know I’m a tainted man, Eva. Things happened to me that I can’t make go away. Not now. Not ever.”

“Hey.” My hand lifts to his face, holding his eyes. He’s fighting rising fear. “You can’t make your past disappear. I’m right here, Luke. I’m right here with you.”

He lowers his head, covering his eyes with one hand. “Why?”

Why? I suck in a breath, a corrosive burn forming in my throat. “Because you’re the man who makes me feel most alive. The one who makes me feel safe. You’re the man who captured my heart and holds it so tenderly.”

He doesn’t look up. “I’m not sure that’s a good enough reason.”

I drop my hand. “It is to me.” I let my tears flow freely now, no longer able to shield them away.

“Eva.”

Trying to look at him clearly, I blink, a riot running wild in my mind. My eyes are then drawn to Liam who shifts on the bed, knowing Luke must have been young when these things happened to him. “How old were you?” I dare to ask.

I swallow as he replies, “I was twelve when it first started.”

My head bows.

“I didn’t understand what was happening. At the start, my mum had visitors. I learned pretty quickly they were her dealers, or her clients, as she would call them. They mostly stayed downstairs, but then one of them took a liking to me.” Luke looks up, but he stares through me as he recalls, “Every night was a marathon. I learned with time that I couldn’t let myself fall asleep.”

“Why?” I eventually ask when he pauses.

His eyes hollow, disengaging. “That’s when he liked me the most.”

I shake my head slowly from side to side.

“I’d wake up brandishing new scars or burn marks from where they must have used my body for their entertainment. And his hands, Eva… I could feel his hands on me for days after.” A sound tears right through him, a crippling, exhausted cry, unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. “I was so ti red. He had cameras on me. Used to mock me for things I did when I didn’t think anyone was watching. But they were,” he cries now, his chest panting, “all the time. All the time, Eva.”

I sob, and when his eyes find me, pulling him from the memory of his horror, we fall into each other’s arms, sharing the breakdown of our emotions. I feel his body jerk as my own shivers with every sob I let escape from me. “I’m so sorry they hurt you.”

He holds me tight, and I mirror his grip, wanting more than anything for him to know that he’s not alone. No child deserves to live in fear under the hands of the adult responsible for them. Luke’s arms squeeze me like a vice. I get that seeing Liam must have stirred something in him, but I have never seen him like this. Usually so strong willed, this is him at his most vulnerable. “You’re the only thing keeping me grounded, Eva,” he says tearing himself away from me, wanting to see my face.

“I know,” I say, twining my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer to me. “I know.” Then I’m pushing my face to his, catching his tears on my lips. We tangle together at a melodic pace, arms searching, mouths seeking. Every touch is like an awakening, every breath a lifeline.

I let him devour me, his fingers cupping my face and my neck. The sensual touches stir deep within me, even though this moment isn’t about lust. It’s love, and although I’m sure Luke isn’t aware it’s what we have, I can feel his love surging through his touch. I see it in the way he cares for everyone.

“I love you,” I say against his lips, every nerve ending I have coming alive as my heart pounds, feeling him falter—realising that he is loved beyond all measure.

Luke pulls back, lips slightly apart as he sucks in steady breaths. His hands on me flex before he pushes to his knees, taking me with him, his large frame towering over me. “Has this always been love?” he asks gently. “Because I’ve never known it, Eva.”

I smile a happy smile feeling the warmth radiating from his body. “It’s always been love with you, Luke.”

Pressing his lips to mine, his warm breath brushes over me, his smell making my head feel light. “How can you be so sure?”

Sliding my hands over his bare arms, he doesn’t flinch. “For starters.” I look down at my touch, and he watches on, entranced. “You let me touch you when I now know how hard that must be for you.”

Luke takes in a breath. “Your touch is something I crave.”

I keep sliding my hands slowly to his chest, feeling his heart drilling under my contact. “You gave me your first real intimate moment. You also took away my fears. Not only that, but when I’m with you, you make me laugh. I’m happiest when I have you, Luke.”

He leaves a chaste kiss on my forehead.

I smile at him, seeing the dark slowly being replaced by the light. I keep going. “You feel like home to me.”

“That’s good, Little Warrior, because home isn’t something I’ve had in a very long time.”

“Is that why you stay in hotels?”

He shrugs. “It’s easier. My only ties are to you and Adam. Wherever you are, I go.”

Happiness warms me. My fingers flex on the tattoos that are as strong as him. “He means a lot to you.”

Luke clicks his teeth with a doting smile. “He’s the only family I’ve got.”

“I’d like to meet him. Properly, I mean.”

Luke laughs a little. “No you wouldn’t.”

I can’t help but smile at seeing his fondness. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Rolling my eyes, I ask him bluntly, “Do you care about me?” already knowing the answer.

“Since the night I first met you.” He raises a small smile.

My hands find their way around his neck. “What about my son?”

His eyes narrow as he sniffs, but he looks at Liam. “He’s your son, Eva. I’ll protect him as if he were my own.”

I pause, waiting for him to look at me. When he does, my emotions explode like fireworks being let off all at once. “Then this is real love, Luke,” I tell him, tightening my hold on him.

“Mamma?” Liam’s tired voice calls out for me as he stirs on the bed .

Luke immediately stands, guiding me to my feet.

“I’m here.” I climb onto the bed, snuggling in behind him.

Liam turns, sitting up. I watch as he looks at Luke, then to me. “Dadda?” he mumbles, confused.

My heart leaps to my throat. “Daddy’s at his home, baby. You and me, we get to stay here for a while, okay?”

He looks again at Luke, assessing him wearily like any toddler would with someone they don’t know.

I hear his tummy grumble. “Are you hungry?”

Liam nods his head then points to his mouth.

A small chuckle leaves me as he rests his head on my chest when I lift my arm for him to come to me. “Okay. Mummy can get you some food.”

Luke takes a step closer to the bed before I can move. “Leave it with me. I’ll get something sent up.”

He turns, but I reach out, my hand resting on his. “Thank you.”

He gives me a slight shake of his head. “You don’t have to thank me, Eva. Not ever. You heard my truth and aren’t running. Anything you want or need, you get.”

My fingers run light tracks on the back of his hand. “I don’t deser—”

He cuts me off. “—No. Don’t tell me you don’t deserve me.” He kneels by the side of the bed as light snores fill the air around us. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

Managing to crane my head further towards him, I smile and rest my hand on the side of his face, feeling the stubble tickle the tips of my fingers. “Maybe rather than thinking we don’t deserve the other, we should just enjoy the fact we have each other.”

Luke turns his head, gently placing a kiss in my palm. “Deal.”