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I look at Molly with wild eyes. “Where is she? Where’s Tessa?” I ask for the hundredth time. Each second that I don’t see her, each moment that I’m not assured of her safety, is another blow to my rapidly dwindling sanity.
“I don’t know. I think she left with Zed.”
“What did they do to her? Tell me everything—now.” I stand to my feet and leave Dan on the ground running his hands over his neck as he tries to catch his breath.
Molly shakes her head. “They didn’t do anything; he stopped them before they could.”
“He?”
“Zed. I went down and got him and Tristan before anything could happen. Steph was being so fucking crazy, like she was going to have Dan rape Tessa or something. She says she was only going to make it look that way, but I don’t know, she was acting like a psycho.”
“Rape Tessa?” I choke out. No. “Did he . . . touch her?”
“A little,” she says sadly and looks at the ground.
I look back down at Dan, who is sitting up now. My boot collides with his cheek, and he drops back to the floor immediately.
“Holy shit! You’re going to kill him!” Molly shrieks.
“Like you give a fuck,” I snap at her and try to gauge just how hard I would have to kick him to permanently indent his skull. Blood trickles down his cheek and out of the corner of his mouth. Good.
“I don’t . . . I don’t give a fuck about any of this, actually.”
“Then why did you call me? I thought you hate Tessa.”
“I do, trust me. But I can’t sit there and let someone rape her.”
“Well . . .” I almost thank her, but I quickly remember what a bitch she is, so I just nod and walk away to find Tessa.
Why was Zed here in the first place? That motherfucker always seems to show up at the right time—the exact moment that will make me look like an asshole, and now, once again, he has saved her.
Regardless of my extreme jealousy, I’m so fucking relieved to know she’s away from Steph and Dan and their fucking sick plan for revenge against me. This whole ordeal is just another reminder that every single bad thing in Tessa’s life stems from me. If I hadn’t done that shit to Dan’s sister, this never would have happened. Now Tessa is fucking drugged and she’s with Zed. Who knows what the fuck he’ll try to do with her.
This is it—this is what hell feels like. Knowing that she was in this mess because of me. She could have been raped because of me.
Just like in my dreams . . . and I wasn’t there to stop her. Just like I wasn’t able to stop it from happening to my mum.
I hate this. I hate myself so fucking much. I ruin everything and anyone that comes in contact with me. I’m poison, and she’s the slowly eroding seraph, holding on to the last bit of herself that I haven’t destroyed.
“Hardin!” Logan meets me at the bottom the stairs.
“Do you know where Tessa and Zed are?” The words taste like acid on my tongue.
“They left about fifteen minutes ago—I assumed they were going back to your place,” he responds.
So she didn’t tell anyone about our breakup. “Was she . . . was she okay?” I ask him and hold my breath until he responds.
“I don’t know, she was pretty out of it. They gave her benzo.”
“Fuck.” I tug at my hair and walk to the front door. “If you hear from Zed before I find them, call me,” I instruct him.
Logan nods in agreement, and I run to my car. Thankfully no one has stolen it. However, someone has taken the opportunity to be a dick and pour a beer down my windshield and leave the empty cup on the hood. Fucking assholes.
I give Tessa a call, but end up just muttering into her voicemail, “Answer the phone, please . . . please just answer once.”
I know she probably isn’t capable of answering right now, but Zed could answer the damn phone for her. The thought of her being so incoherent when I’m not around to protect her sickens me. I smash my hands against the steering wheel and peel out onto the street. This is a fucking disaster, and Tessa is with Zed, of all people. I don’t trust him any more than I do Dan or Steph.
That’s not entirely true, but I still don’t trust him. By the time I get to Zed’s apartment, I’m in tears—literal tears stain and coat my cheeks, reminding me of how big of a fuckup I really am. I let this happen; I let her get fucking drugged, nearly raped, and humiliated. I should have been there. No one would have dared to try that shit if I had been. She was probably so afraid . . .
I lift my T-shirt up to wipe my traitorous eyes and park in front of Zed’s apartment. His truck isn’t in the lot . . . Where the fuck is he? Where is she?
I try to call Tessa, then Zed, then Tessa again, but nobody’s picking up. If he does something to her while she’s passed out, I will do much worse to him than he could ever imagine.
Where else would she go?
To Landon?
“Hardin?” Landon’s sleepy voice comes through the phone, and I press the speakerphone button.
“Is Tessa there?”
He yawns. “No . . . is she supposed to be?”
“No, I can’t find her.”
“Are you . . .” He stops himself. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah . . . no. I’m not. I can’t find Tessa, and I don’t know where else to look.”
“Does she want to be found?” he asks softly.
Does she? Probably not. But then again, at this point she probably can’t even form a coherent thought. These aren’t normal circumstances, to put it mildly.