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“I hear what you’re saying, but you can’t be hateful and say those things to me—like calling him a beggar. That really hurt my feelings.”
He spreads my hands open with his, lacing his fingers through mine while pulling me even closer to him. “I’m sorry, baby, I really am.” He brings our hands to his mouth, slowly kissing each of my knuckles, and my anger dissolves at the touch of his soft lips.
I quirk one eyebrow. “Are you going to stop with the cruel comments?”
“Yes.” He turns my hand over in his, tracing the lines etched into my palm.
“Thank you.” I watch as his long finger travels up my wrist and back down to my fingertips.
“Just be careful, okay? Because I won’t hesitate to—”
“He seems okay, though, doesn’t he? I mean he’s nice,” I say quietly, interrupting his sure-to-be-violent promise.
Hardin’s fingers stop their movements. “I don’t know; he’s nice enough, I guess.”
“He wasn’t nice when I was younger.”
Hardin looks at me with serious fire in his eyes, though his words have a gentle tone to them. “Don’t talk about that while he’s this close to me, please. I’m trying my best here, so let’s not push it.”
I climb onto his lap, and he lies down with my body against his.
“Tomorrow’s the big day.” He sighs.
“Yeah,” I whisper against his arm, nuzzling in his warmth. Hardin’s expulsion hearing for beating up Zed is scheduled for tomorrow; not our finest hour.
Suddenly a small feeling of panic shoots through me at the memory of the text Zed sent me. I’d almost forgotten about it altogether after seeing my father outside the shop. My phone had vibrated in my pocket as we waited for Steph and Tristan’s return, and Hardin had stared at me silently while I read it. Fortunately he didn’t ask me what was up.
I need to talk to you tomorrow morning, alone please? Zed had written.
I don’t know what to make of the message; I don’t know if I should talk to him about anything, considering he told Tristan he was going to press charges against Hardin. I hope he just said that to impress him, to keep his reputation. I don’t know what I’ll do if Hardin gets in trouble—real trouble. I should respond to the message, but I don’t think it’s the best idea to meet Zed or to talk to him alone. Hardin’s already in enough of a mess without me adding to it.
“Are you listening to me?” Hardin nudges me, and I look up from the comfort of his embrace.
“No, sorry.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Everything: tomorrow, the charges, expulsion, England, Seattle, my father . . .” I sigh. “Everything.”
“You’ll come with me, though? To find out about the expulsion?” His voice is smooth, yet nervous.
“If you want me to,” I say.
“I need you to.”
“Then I’ll be there.” I have to change the subject, so I say, “I still can’t believe you got that tattoo. Let me see it again.”
He gently rolls me off of him so he can turn over. “Lift my shirt.”
I lift the bottom of his black T-shirt until his entire back is laid bare, and then I pull back the white bandage covering the newly engraved words.
“There’s a little blood on the bandage,” I tell him.
“That’s normal,” he says, humor at my ignorance coming through his words.
I outline the reddened area with my finger, taking in the perfect words. The tattoo he got for me is my new favorite. The perfect words—words that have so much meaning for me, and for him as well, apparently. But they’re tainted by the news I’ve chosen to withhold about moving to Seattle. I’ll tell him tomorrow, as soon as we find out about the expulsion. I promise myself one hundred times that I will; the longer I wait, the more angry he’ll be.
“Is that enough of a commitment for you, Tessie?”
I scowl at him. “Don’t call me that.”
“I hate that nickname,” he says, turning his head up to look at me while still lying on his stomach.
“Me, too, but I don’t want to tell him that. Anyway, the tattoo is enough for me.”
“You’re sure? Because I can go back and get your portrait underneath.” He laughs.
“No, please don’t!” I shake my head, and his laughter rises.
“You’re sure this’ll be enough?” He sits up and tugs his shirt back down to cover his body. “No marriage,” he adds.
“That’s what this was? You got a tattoo as an alternative to marriage?” I don’t know how I feel about this.
“No, not exactly. I got the tattoo because I wanted to, and because I haven’t gotten one in a while.”
“Thoughtful.”
“It’s for you, too, to show you that I want this.” He gestures between us, taking my hand in his. “Whatever this is that we have, I don’t ever want to lose it. I’ve lost it before, and even now I don’t completely have it back, but I can tell it’s getting there.”
His hand feels warm, and so right holding on to mine.
“So once again, I used the words of a far more romantic man than myself to get the point across.” He smiles a bright smile, but I see the terror beneath it.
“I think Darcy would be appalled by your use of his famous words,” I tease.
“I think he would high-five me,” he boasts.
My laughter comes out like a bark. “High-five? Fitzwilliam Darcy would never do such a thing.”