Page 165

Outside, I swipe my thumb across the screen. “Tess.”
“Hardin!” she says, panicked. “Are you okay?”
“I called you so many times.” I let out a breath of relief at the sound of her voice through the small speaker.
“I know, I’m sorry. I was asleep. Are you okay? Where are you?”
“Blind Bob’s,” I admit. There’s no use in lying—she always finds out the truth one way or another.
“Oh . . .” she barely whispers.
“I ordered a drink.” I may as well tell her everything.
“Only one?”
“Yes, and I didn’t get the chance to even taste it before you called.” I can’t decide how I feel about that. Her voice is my lifeline, but I can feel a thread of something calling me back to the bar as well.
“That’s good, then,” she says. “Are you leaving there?”
“Yes, right now.” I pull the handle on my car door and climb into the driver’s seat.
After a few beats, Tessa asks, “Why’d you go there? It’s okay that you did . . . I’m just wondering why.”
“I saw Steph.”
She gasps. “What happened? Did you . . . did anything happen?”
“I didn’t hurt her, if that’s what you mean.” I turn on my car but keep it in park. I want to talk to Tessa without the distraction of driving. “She said some shit to me that really . . . it really set me off. I lost my temper in Target.”
“Are you okay? Wait, I thought you hated Target.”
“Out of all the things . . .” I begin.
“Sorry. I’m half asleep.” I can hear the smile in her voice, but it’s quickly replaced by worry. “Are you okay? What did she say?”
“She said that you fucked Zed,” I tell her. I don’t want to repeat the other shit she said about Tessa and me not being good for each other.
“What? You know that’s not true. Hardin, I swear nothing happened between us that you don’t already—”
I tap a finger on the windshield, watching my fingerprints accumulate. “She said his roommate heard you.”
“You don’t believe her, right? You couldn’t possibly believe her, Hardin; you know me—you know I would have told you if anyone else had touched me—” Her voice cracks, and my chest aches.
“Shhh . . .” I shouldn’t have let her go on about it for so long. I should have told her that I knew it wasn’t true, but being the selfish bastard that I am, I needed to hear her say it.
“What else did she say?” She’s crying.
“Just bullshit. About you and Zed. And she played on every fear and insecurity that I have about us.”
“Is that why you went to the bar?” There’s no judgment in Tessa’s voice, only an understanding that I wasn’t expecting.
“I guess so.” I sigh. “She knew things. About your body . . . things that only I should know.” A shiver rakes down my spine.
“She was my roommate. She saw me change any number of times, not to mention she’s the one who undressed me that night,” she says with a sniffle.
Anger ripples through me again. The thought of Tessa, unable to move while Steph forcefully undressed her . . .
“Don’t cry, please. I can’t bear it, not when you’re hours away,” I beg her.
Now that Tessa’s soft voice is on the line, Steph’s words seem to hold no truth, and the madness—the pure fucking madness—that I felt only minutes ago has dissolved.
“Let’s talk about something else while I drive home.” I shift my car into reverse and put Tessa on speakerphone.
“Okay, yeah . . .” she says, then hums a little while she thinks. “Um, Kimberly and Christian invited me to join them at their club this weekend.”
“You aren’t going.”
“If you would let me finish,” she scolds me. “But since you will hopefully be here, and I knew you wouldn’t come along, we agreed on me going Wednesday night instead.”
“What kind of club is open on a Wednesday?” I glance into my rearview mirror, answering my own question. “I’m going,” I say.
“Why? You don’t like clubs, remember?”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll go with you this weekend. I don’t want you to go Wednesday.”
“I’m going on Wednesday. We can go again this weekend if you’d like, but I already told Kimberly that I’m coming, and there’s no reason that I shouldn’t.”
“I would rather you not go,” I say through my teeth. I’m already on edge, and she’s testing me. “Or I can come Wednesday, too,” I offer, trying my best to be reasonable.
“You don’t have to drive all the way here on Wednesday when you’ll already be coming for the weekend.
“You don’t want to be seen with me?” The words are out before I can stop them.
“What?” I hear the click of her lamp turning on in the background. “Why would you say that? You know it’s not true. Don’t let Steph in your head. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
I pull into the parking lot of the apartment and park the car before I respond. Tessa waits in silence for an explanation. Finally I sigh. “No. I don’t know.”
“We have to learn to fight together, not against one another. It shouldn’t be Steph versus you versus me. We have to be in this together,” she continues.
“That’s not what I’m doing . . .”