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“I feel the same about Hardin controlling who I’m friends with.” As the words leave my mouth, Zed’s eyes fill with triumph, which also bothers me. “But, I also think he has good reasons for not wanting us to be friends. Don’t you?”
Zed shakes his head amicably. “Yes and no. I won’t hide my feelings for you, but you know that I don’t push them onto you. I told you that I’ll take what you can give me, and if friendship is all I can get, I’ll live with it.”
“I know you don’t push.” I choose to respond only to half of his statement. Zed never pushes me to do anything, and he never tries to force me into anything, but I hate the way he talks about Hardin.
“Can you say the same for him?” Zed challenges, looking at me intensely.
The urge to defend Hardin makes me say, “No. I can’t. I know how he is, but that’s just who he is.”
“You’re always so quick to defend him. I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to get it,” I say harshly.
“Really?” Zed says quietly and frowns.
“Yes.” I straighten my back and sit up as tall as I can manage.
“It doesn’t bother you how possessive he is? He tells you who you can be friends with . . .”
“It does bother me but—”
“You let him do it.”
“Did you come all the way to Seattle to remind me that Hardin is controlling?”
Zed opens his mouth to speak but closes it.
“What?” I push him.
“He has a claim on you, and I’m worried about you. You seem so stressed out.”
I sigh in defeat. I am stressed, too stressed, but fighting with Zed isn’t going to help anything. It’s only intensifying my frustration. “I’m not going to make excuses for him, but you don’t know anything about our relationship. You don’t see how he is with me. You don’t understand him the way that I do.”
I push my plate away and notice that the couple at the next table over has turned their attention on us. Lowering my voice, I say, “I don’t want to fight with you, Zed. I’m exhausted, and I was really looking forward to spending this time with you.”
He leans back in his chair. “I’m being such a jerk, aren’t I.” he says with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Tessa. I would blame the drive . . . but that’s not an excuse. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” My period is due any day now—that must be why I’m so on edge.
“It’s my fault, really.” He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.
Tension still fills the air, and I can’t stop thinking of Hardin, but I’d like to have a nice time, so I ask, “How is everything else going?”
Zed dives into stories about his family and how warm Florida was the last time he visited. The conversation between us reverts to its normal, easy, meandering flow, and the tension evaporates, allowing me to finish my meal.
After we’re done eating and are heading to the exit, Zed asks, “Do you have more plans for the night?”
“Yes, I’m going to Christian’s jazz club. It just opened.”
“Christian?” Zed questions.
“Oh, my boss. That’s who I’m staying with.”
His brow rises. “You’re staying with your boss?”
“Yes, but he went to college with Hardin’s father and he’s a longtime friend of Ken and Karen,” I explain. It hasn’t occurred to me that Zed doesn’t know any of the details about my life. Although he picked me up after Christian’s surprise engagement party for Kimberly, he doesn’t know anything about them.
“Oh, so that’s how you got a paid internship, then?”
Ouch. “Yes.” I admit.
“Well, it’s awesome either way.”
“Thanks.” I stare out the window and pull my cell phone from my purse. Still nothing. “What else do you plan on doing while you’re in Seattle?” I ask in the middle of trying to explain which roads to take to get us to Christian and Kimberly’s house. I give up after a few minutes and type the address into my phone. The screen freezes, and the power shuts off twice before the device finally cooperates.
“I’m not sure. I’m going to see what my friends are up to. Maybe we could meet up again later tonight? Or before I leave on Saturday?”
“That could be cool. I’ll let you know,” I say.
“When will Hardin be here?” The venomous undertone to his question doesn’t go unnoticed.
I glance at my phone again, this time out of habit. “I’m not sure, maybe tonight.”
“Are you guys together right now? I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it anymore, but I’m confused.”
“So am I,” I admit. “We’ve been putting some space between us lately.”
“Is that working?”
“Yes.” Until the last few days when Hardin started to pull away from me.
“That’s good, then.”
I have to know what thought is running through his mind. I can see it churning behind his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing. You don’t want to hear it.”
“Yes, I do.” I know I’ll regret it, but that doesn’t stop my curiosity.
“I just don’t see any space. You’re in Seattle, staying with friends of his family, one of whom is also your boss. Even from miles away, he’s controlling you, trying to end the few friendships that you have. And when he’s not doing that, he’s coming to Seattle to visit. That doesn’t seem like much space to me.”