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“Go ahead,” she says, no emotion in her voice.
“What?”
“Go ahead and scream at me. I know you’re going to.”
I’m stunned into silence by her assumption. Granted, I had planned on yelling at her, but the way she just expects it throws me off guard.
But of course she expects it—that’s what always happens. That’s what I do . . .
“Well?” Her lips are pressed in a hard line.
“I’m not going to yell at you.”
She glances over at me momentarily before focusing at some point out beyond the window.
“I don’t know what to do except scream at you . . . that’s the problem.” I sigh in defeat, my forehead resting against the steering wheel.
“I wasn’t planning this behind your back, Hardin, not purposely.”
“It sure as hell seems that way.”
“I would never do that to you. I love you. You’ll understand when we go over it.”
Her words bounce right off of me as anger takes over. “I understand you’re moving—soon. I don’t even know when—and we live together, Tessa. We share a fucking bed, and you’re going to just leave me? I always knew you would.”
I hear the click of her seat belt and then feel her hand pushing me back by the shoulders. Within seconds she’s on my lap, bare thighs straddling me, cold arms wrapped around my neck, her tear-soaked face buried in my chest.
“Get off of me,” I say, attempting to unwrap her arms from me.
“Why do you always assume I’m going to leave you?” She tightens her grip.
“Because you will.”
“I’m not going to Seattle to leave you, I’m going for myself and my career. It’s always been my plan to go there, and this is an incredible opportunity. I asked Mr. Vance while we were figuring out what we were going to do, and I planned on telling you so many times, but you either cut me off or didn’t want to talk about anything serious.”
All I can think of is her packing her bags and leaving me with nothing but some bullshit note on the counter. “Don’t you dare try to blame me.” My voice doesn’t hold as much conviction as I intended.
“I’m not blaming you, but I knew you wouldn’t be supportive; you know how important this is to me.”
“What are you going to do, then? If you go, I can’t be with you. I love you, Tessa, but I’m not going to Seattle.”
“Why? You don’t even know if you’d like it or not. We could at least try it, and if you hate it, we could go to England . . . maybe,” she says with a sniffle.
“You don’t know if you’ll like Seattle either.” I look at her with blank eyes. “I’m sorry, but you have to choose: me or Seattle.”
She looks up at me for a moment, then moves back to the passenger seat without a word.
“You don’t have to decide right now, but time is running out.” I put the car in drive and pull out of the small space.
“I can’t believe you’re making me choose.” She doesn’t look at me.
“You knew how I felt about Seattle. You’re lucky I kept my cool back there when you were with him.”
“I’m ‘lucky’?” she scoffs.
“This day is shit already; let’s not fight about it. I’m going to need an answer by Friday. Unless, of course, you’ll be gone by then.” The idea sends a chill through my body.
I know she’ll choose me—she has to. We can go to England and get away from all this bullshit. She hasn’t said a word about missing classes today, which I’m glad for, since that’s another fight I don’t want to have.
“You’re being so selfish,” she accuses.
I don’t argue, because I know she’s right. But I do say, “Well, some might say selfish is also not telling someone when they plan on leaving them. Where are you going to live? Do you already have a place?”
“No, I was going to look for one tomorrow. We leave Wednesday for the trip with your family.” It takes me a moment to realize who she’s referring to.
“We?”
“You said you’d go . . .”
“I’m still trying to recover from this Seattle shit, Tessa.” I know I’m being an asshole, but this is so fucked up. “And let’s not forget you calling Zed,” I add, doubling down.
Tessa stays silent as I drive. I have to look over at her multiple times to make sure she’s still awake.
“Are you not speaking to me now?” I finally ask her as we approach the parking lot of our . . . my apartment.
“I don’t know what to say.” Her voice is quiet, defeated.
I park, and it hits me. Shit. “You’re dad’s still here, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know where else he would go . . .” she says without looking at me.
We get out of the car, and I say, “Well, when we get upstairs, I’ll ask him where he needs to be dropped off at.”
“No, I’ll take him,” she mumbles.
Even though my girl’s walking next to me, she seems miles away.
Chapter six
TESSA
I’m too disappointed in Hardin to argue, and he’s too pissed at me to speak without screaming. He actually handled the news better than I thought he would, but how could he make me choose? He knows how important Seattle is to me, and it’s not like he has a problem with me giving something up for him—that’s what hurts me the most. He always says he can’t be away from me, that he can’t live without me, yet he’s giving me an ultimatum, and it’s not fair.