Page 8 of Actions and Reactions (All It Takes #5)

Ivan

“So why aren’t Michael and Eli here?” I finally break and ask Lex as he floats next to me.

We’re lying on top of pizza-shaped floats that are tied to the dock, but we have about ten feet of space between us and the gazebo where all the adults are.

I’m still not really talking to any of them, though everyone was cordial enough this morning when they came out to find me here, and Lex has given me silence and space while staying close, which is exactly what I needed.

Now I need to think about something other than . . . last night.

I barely slept, so I’ve thought of little else. Having Silas in a bed next to me wasn’t something I wanted to miss. Sure, we had countless sleepovers growing up, but this was definitely not the same. He looked adorable, with his mouth slightly open and his breaths coming out even and soft.

It’s a memory I know I’ll want for the rest of my life, and if I’m honest, it’s not something I know will happen again.

I can hope all I want, but . . .

“Eli got an invite to some fancy computer place in Oslo,” Lex says, his voice drowsy.

“And what’s been going on there?” I ask, as delicately as I can—which is not at all.

We Jankowski’s aren’t known for our subtlety.

Evidence exhibit number one is the bright red blush that spreads over Lex’s cheeks.

“Nothing,” he says shortly. I know this isn’t something he wants to talk about, but . . .

“Lex,” I murmur, trying to convey with just that one word that I’m on his side, and that will never change.

“He’s fifteen and happy as can be going to his nerd school, and I’m doing what I want. Those paths will more than likely not cross, so I just have to fucking get over it.”

I don’t think it would help Lex in the least if I mentioned how he could get drafted to New York, since they have been slipping and could get a high enough pick for him...

Lex is already in high demand, just like I was when I was seventeen, but that comes with the name and his awesome stats. Getting drafted by the New York Demons is not completely out of the question, but I for one am hoping he gets drafted literally anywhere else.. .

Like he said, Eli is just fifteen, and he’s seventeen. They both need time to grow up, and it’ll be easier if they’re not in close proximity. What will happen once they are grown ups... well, there’s no way for me to know, but I have my suspicions.

“And do you think Eli will... get over it ?” I ask, because I know damn well it’s not one-sided.

“I can’t worry about that.” That’s one way to shut down a conversation if ever I’ve heard it. “In any case, Eli told me Michael also knew what Mom was planning with Aunt Elle for this week, and he thought it’d be better if we had this time alone.”

“That’s bullshit. He’s part of the family, they both are,” I protest.

“I know that, and Eli knows we feel that way, but Michael still feels like he’s butting in sometimes.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter. “Dad’s been trying so hard to make him feel welcome. He was even there when Wolf went to rehab last year,” I say. When our cousin finally admitted he had a problem, we were all there to support him in California.

Well, I only went for a couple of days since it was the middle of the season, but Mom moved her whole family to the other side of the country, and since Lex was already in Vancouver, he went a couple of times too.

“Maybe it’s about you, then,” Lex suggests mercilessly.

“What?” I sputter out the question and sit up. Then I almost topple over into the lake, but I find my balance eventually. And I also find Lex laughing at me. “Shut up,” I tell him, though I start to laugh too, then splash water in his direction.

“I’m just saying, you don’t really hang out with Michael when you do see him, and you barely see him.”

“It’s not like I have a lot of spare time on my hands, Lex.

” The excuse rings with a hint of uncertainty.

“I don’t know what to say to him,” I cry out, giving up on making excuses, and lie back down.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to him.

He’s a good dude, or Eli wouldn’t be as cool as he is.

And hell, we both know Mom wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t. ”

“True dat,” he says like the brat he is.

“Just... I guess I’ll make a point of it next time I see him.”

“Good,” Lex says and closes his eyes once more. I follow suit because... well, there’s not much else to say, is there?

The peace lasts about thirty minutes until something inside me tells me to open my eyes again and look toward the gazebo at the end of our dock.

I see him then.

I can’t hear what he’s telling Mom before they hug, but I can see his big smile—the genuine one—and fear creeps in.

Just the thought that he might give me the boot tonight or tomorrow night or... whenever, it’s too much.

“Ivan,” Dad’s booming voice snaps me out of it. He’s walking down the dock toward our speedboat. “Lake talk,” he shouts.

“Good luck,” Lex sing-songs .

I let out a resigned sigh. I knew this was coming eventually, so I jump out of my float and swim toward the boat.

Dad’s feeling charitable today, apparently, because he lowers the staircase at the stern so I don’t have to climb up like a fish.

He starts it up without a word and then we’re off to the middle of the lake.

Dad’s “lake talks” are famous for a reason.

He had one with Lottie just two years ago, where he sat her down and talked to her about her injury and how it was time to hang up the skates for her own good.

Uncle Paul hadn’t managed to get through to her, so it was clearly a feat, and we all know it.

Lottie had already spent seven years in the NWHL, and she’d won all the damn trophies and medals and cups that one person could win.

She was pushing herself for the sake of it, and they were afraid that if she wasn’t careful, she’d reach the point of no return—the one Si managed to reach with one slip of a foot.

Dad tells me to drop anchor only ten minutes later, then he sits in the captain’s chair and turns it around to face me. I understand his silent look—one raised eyebrow—and take a seat next to him.

“You really hurt your mother last night.” He crosses his arms, and I know he’s only doing that so he won’t flap them around when he gets going. It really diminishes the impact of what he says when he does, but still, pure self-righteousness fills my body at his words.

“It’s not my fault she can’t handle hearing the truth,” I snap. “It’s not our fault that none of you can,” I add, and stand up to pace in the limited space.

“I know, son. I know.” His easy acceptance and calm voice puts out the fire of my anger in a second. “But you know I hate seeing your mom upset.”

“She’s a grown woman,” I protest, but it’s weak at best. I even look down at my nails, that’s how unconvincing I am in this moment.

“We wanted to respect your wishes,” he says after a long pause.

“Yeah, I know.” I sigh because... I do know that .

“And you were right last night, that was the wrong thing to do.” I snap my head up in surprise at his words, and eyes as green as mine meet me steadily. He stands and walks over. “Hindsight has taught all four of us that, so now we’re done respecting your wishes.”

I have to admit, if only to myself, that if it wasn’t for this damn trip, this damn scheme, I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to finally corner Silas.

God knows I did nothing when he showed up at the Pirates’ practice rink back in April.

Still, I think it’s important to ask, just so I can prepare myself.

“Do you have anything else planned for this week? Just so I can give Si a heads up?”

“I don’t think there were any specific activities planned, no,” Dad says, amused.

“Let’s hope they won’t make us perform trust falls in the living room, then,” I say, pretending I’m amused too .

“So, you... talked,” he says carefully. I really respect that he still won’t ask me the details, so I don’t bother sighing this time. It’s better if I just concede defeat and spill my guts.

“We did, on the plane ride. We both apologized, and I hope we have a shot of moving past it.” I leave it at that because I don’t think it’s wise to tell him about anything else we did yesterday.

I have no clue where Si stands on all that, and this time I’m not going to blurt shit out just for the hell of it. I’m going to play this cool and hope it works out if I just... wait.

“And last night? We didn’t even hear you get back.” I recognize the frown for what it is.

“I only took like two sips of your vodka, Dad,” I drawl, and roll my eyes at him. “It’s in my room, so I’ll give it back when we’re done here.”

“Good.” He nods once and finally uncrosses his arms. “That’s good. Having a tough conversation while drunk isn’t the best idea...” He trails off, but I nod anyway. I understand, and to show him that, I nod in the direction of the cabin.

“How about we head back?”

“Yes, Elle’s making meatloaf,” he says excitedly.

I can’t help but snort and then rush to beat him to the controls.

Dad’s always been enamored with Aunt Elle’s meatloaf, and considering Mom wasn’t... knowledgeable, let’s say, in the kitchen, and Dad is pretty much useless, the only time we got normal home cooked meals was when we went over to the Waynes’ house.

It was fine, though. There were an abundance of takeout places in LA, and we had Corinne during the week, the best personal chef ever. She still works for Dad to this day, and I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing my parents argued over in the divorce—who got to keep Corinne.

But she chose for them, since she didn’t want to move to New York with Mom. And just remembering her paella, my mouth waters.

“Hey, Dad,” I call back to where he’s sitting like I’m his personal captain or something.

“What’s up?”

“When they announce the schedule for the season, can you ask Corinne to make paella for me one of the days I’m playing against the Empire?” I ask, talking about Dad’s old team.

“You got it, Vin.”

I smile and slow the speedboat down when our dock comes into view.

Dad only calls me Vin when he’s relaxed and happy with me.

Ivan is for when he’s angry, Vinny is for when he’s too excited for words, son is for emotional moments, and dumbass is for whenever Lex and I fight or break something inside the house.

Dad jumps up to the dock when we’re close enough and ties it off expertly as I shut it off and make sure everything is as it should be, then he offers me a hand. I don’t need it, but I take it, since it’s another peace offering.

“Stand back now,” he mutters, and before I can ask him what he’s talking about, he’s running full speed toward the end of the dock—to the gazebo, where our family is.

Lex is out of the water, chatting with Lottie, and Si is speaking to Uncle Paul, which is exactly where Dad is headed.

He lowers his torso just a little, wraps his arms around Paul, and then jumps into the lake while Uncle Paul shouts in outrage.

I laugh and shake my head as I walk over at a normal pace, since it’s always fun to hear Uncle Paul try to berate Dad.

“They’re the children,” Lex mutters from next to me while we all stand on the edge and watch them have a water fight.

“We can be children too,” I say, tone easy, then I turn to my brother and let him see my smile only for a second before I push him in.

He also shouts, and since they’re laughing at him and distracted, I take the opportunity to push Mom and Aunt Elle in as well.

Lottie’s practically crying from laughter by the time I get to her, and she can’t even put up a fight, so in she goes.

And when I turn, I see Si’s frown full of trepidation.

I walk over slowly, and I see he’s thinking about how to overpower me, but I don’t want to take him by surprise.

I have no idea if any... violent movements could aggravate his injuries, so I just stare at him and keep my arms lowered .

“You want me to push you?” he asks after a moment, clearly puzzled.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I admit.

“You can’t hurt me by pushing me into the lake, Vinny.

” He looks so... impatient. It’s distracting.

And since I don’t want to have to deal with all of that just yet.

.. more like never... “It’s not like my leg’s going to land against anything so—oh, fuck you,” he shouts when I finally push him.

I watch them all for a long moment, laughing, coughing, swearing at me, and then I jump in too.

Aunt Elle’s meatloaf is as perfect as I remember it, and Dad’s still singing its praises when I walk back from my bedroom and hand him the almost-full bottle of vodka.

Avoiding any kind of meaningful conversation with Si about yesterday’s events turns out to be incredibly easy since we haven’t spent a single second alone all day.

Our moms haven’t really said anything, but Mom did give me an extra long hug when I handed her two towels as she climbed out of the lake.

The conversations have ranged from hockey to Mom’s next big collection, to Lottie’s thoughts on Chicago’s chances next season, to more hockey.

It’s all very familial and nice and heartwarming, but when they all want to start a game of Monopoly I have to tap out .

Not only because I don’t want to see Aunt Elle go feral on all of us, but because one, I might want to avoid talking about last night even if I do want a repeat, and two, I do have plans to wake up early tomorrow and I didn’t sleep last night.

“I’m going to start with some laps around the dock,” I tell Dad when I announce I’m going to bed.

“I’ll join you,” he says, and I know he won’t, but I still smile and nod like a good boy.

“Good night,” I tell everyone, and I look at Silas pointedly. Then, when I’m sure no one’s looking, I walk down the hallway and close the door to my room.

But I stay outside, and then I walk as silently as a cat into Si’s room.