Page 12 of Actions and Reactions (All It Takes #5)
Silas
Since today’s tasks are handled, as I knew they would be, I’m more relaxed when I leave my office at the practice rink.
Yesterday was a fucking tough day. It wasn’t only the short conversation I had with Gab after Vinny left that helped me breathe easier, or the fact that Payton let me use his bands to relieve the pain in my knee before he packed the rest of the PT room, but also the conversations I had with the contractors and designers regarding the work on the facilities.
I had a hand in putting this project together, and I want it to go flawlessly.
In my head, the easiest way to have a peaceful existence when working in PR is to focus on what I call IR—internal relationships.
As long as those are working well and on track, then it’s more than likely anything public will go well too.
To be proactive in that area, I asked Gab if it would be okay to spruce things up a little for everyone in the facility, and I’m grateful she readily agreed.
When I woke up to an empty bed once more, it took me less than a second to understand that something had gone wrong during the night, because my leg was throbbing.
I couldn’t find the right spot or angle for it when I took a hot shower at Vinny’s place.
And I only stayed there long enough for that because I knew I’d likely only aggravate the fucking thing by driving.
It was hurting enough that I only got to relive and think about having sex when I was leaving my own apartment around two hours later. I couldn’t think about it too long, though... wouldn’t let myself. Because it’s all still so confusing, so... big.
And yeah, Vinny’s dick is big for sure, and it felt even bigger inside me, but that’s not the only big thing. It was an important step for me, and it was far more perfect than anything I could have imagined.
So I pushed it away, focused on the pain that was lessening at a snail’s pace, and went to work. It was slightly better when I got to the rink, and then Vinny...
Well, to say he caught me off guard with his announcement is one hell of an understatement.
I have no clue what he’s feeling, let alone what I’m feeling, so why did he feel the need to go tell Gab before we could even be sure we’re on the same page ?
He said the most Ivan thing in the world to that— because it was the right thing to do.
I could have strangled him in that moment, but I restrained myself.
Who the fuck cares about right and wrong?
Why should we bother with it when we both learned a long time ago that right doesn’t matter?
But today is a new and better day.
I went by to check on the remodel and was happy to find it all going perfectly. Also, since I slept with my orthopedic pillows last night, my knee is as good as it gets today, which means I didn’t limp my way through the morning like I did yesterday.
Not getting weird looks while I’m walking around helps my general mood, but when I knock on Vinny’s door, takeout bag in hand, and find him shirtless and still wet from a shower, some lightness actually sneaks into my chest.
In that moment I can’t believe I even let go of him to fall asleep the other day. My sudden desperate need for him overtakes me, and so I dump the bag of food by his feet and launch myself at him.
And the weirdest thing happens... he gives it right back to me. His hands fist my shirt in a move as needy as my kiss, and a kind of gratitude sneaks in along with relief.
While we undress and make our way sloppily to his bedroom, I realize that having him again will probably fix any issues in my life.
All I need .
He fucks me again, and afterward, when I’m applying the muscle-relaxing lotion on my leg, he takes over and massages me for a while. Then we eat, we play videogames, we talk about our siblings, and even briefly about the news that Santa and Charlie are retiring—which we both suspected.
August
Attending a wedding of two relative strangers isn’t my idea of fun.
Then again, my foul mood might be stopping me from even trying to enjoy it.
Of course I know Bear, and well enough I suppose.
I do work closely with the players, and have in the last month made it a point to have a long meeting with each of them to help us all do our jobs better and get them more endorsement opportunities, so yeah, I do know Bear.
And I was honestly surprised, flattered, and touched when he told me about two weeks ago that I was invited to his wedding.
With everything that happened over the summer with the Rogues, and their quarterback’s family drama being put on the front pages for the world to consume like entertainment, Gab hasn’t had much time for me, and I don’t blame her or resent her in the least. But it has meant I’ve had to take charge more than I did last season.
The fact that she’s trusted me to do so is actually amazing, and another very flattering thing for me .
Being here now, though . . .
Well, Drew and Bear are obviously in love, and their vows are lovely, sure. The fact that Bear has his three sisters standing next to him as his “best women” is adorable, and Drew’s connection to his own best man, Xander, is also clear as day.
But I can’t shake the need to jump up and flee from this place.
Illogical, of course, since we’re in an amazingly well-tended garden full of what must be a million different plants and trees.
It’s warm, but we’re in a very shaded area and there’s a nice breeze.
I bet it’s not just me who feels the overwhelming sense of love and happiness in the air.
Generally, it’s just a really nice day, place, and event.
So why am I feeling this way?
It’s been happening more and more lately.
This jittery feeling in my belly when Vinny and I are at the facilities—now back at the practice rink since the remodel finished a week ago—or the few times we’ve gone out to eat at different restaurants.
Just four days ago, when Santa and Charlie arrived for the festivities, Vinny tried to convince me to go out to the joint bachelor party with the whole team, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. So I made some excuse about having to work on a brand deal for Twocox and got out of it.
I do wonder why he didn’t press—that’s unlike him from what I know of him—but he seems so much... calmer these days. Well, normally. Today we’re sitting side by side and I’ve heard him sniffle three different times when I don’t think I’ve seen him cry since we were eight years old or so.
When the ceremony is over and the grooms are kissing to thundering applause, when we’re directed to another area of the garden where there are fruity cocktails and delicious canapes, Vinny takes my hand and pulls me over to Jules and Sterling.
Vinny admires his captain and husband like every other player on the team—just a smidge over the top.
It’s the type of loyalty I’ve never encountered except in hockey teams.
That’s not to say I think it’s the only place it exists, but it’s not like I’ve been around any other kinds of teams, so...
I only half listen as they talk about the ceremony and then about the upcoming season.
It’s not news to me that Mater, Jules’s best friend and the only veteran defender left on the team—though Bates will become a veteran soon enough—is going to retire after this season, but they whisper about it in worried tones for one minute.
That’s all they’ll allow themselves, it seems, because when there’s a beat of silence they change the topic forcibly to Sterling’s residency at the Winner Resort and their three kids.
All I’m able to do for all that time is feel my palm getting damper by the second in his, feel the beat of my heart increase, and the stiffness creep into my right leg until I’m about to beg for a chair.
But then we’re told the reception tent is ready for us, and I don’t have to beg .
I get to sit in a pretty honored spot, at the players table with Xander, Milkman, Jules, Sterling, Santa, and Charlie.
All in all, there aren’t that many guests, just the people who work for the Pirates really, and that’s more than enough in my opinion.
I breathe a little easier when Vinny twists around to chat with our waiter and lets go of my hand. I use it to reach for the glass of iced water dripping with condensation already, and it relieves more than my throat.
“The new locker room is awesome, Silas,” Jules tells me from across the table.
I look up and nod before swallowing, then muster up a smile.
“I’m glad you guys liked it,” I tell him honestly.
“Jules showed us pictures,” Sterling pipes up and reaches for his own water. “Are you doing the same remodel for the one at the arena?”
“It’s going to be a little different.” Because practice and game days are different, as I told Gab. “But the overall style will be the same.”
“I think my favorite details were all the little hidden drawers in our cubbies,” Milkman says, and he leans in with a smile that does bring me some pride.
“I think all the changes will have a positive impact once the season starts back up again.” Jules nods and then turns to the waiter since he walks up to him hesitantly.
It’s the overall effect of a legend, I suppose.
Waiters back home act the same around Dad and Uncle Ruko, and though Jules is too humble to ever say it, or even think it, the stats tell us all he’ll probably break some of Dad’s records.
I can’t say exactly how that makes me feel, even though Dad’s assured me many times he’s been looking forward to a player becoming a bigger legend than him.
I doubt I’d be so generous with my thoughts and feelings, so maybe it’s a good thing I never got the chance to find out, huh?
“You okay?” Vinny whispers in my ear.
I just about jump out of my seat from how hard he startles me, but I’m quick to nod and reassure him.
“I’m fine,” I assure him. And since I want to be, desperately, I don’t consider it an outright lie.
A slow song sounds then, from speakers all around the tent, and Bear and Drew walk in and right to the dance floor set in the middle.
It takes me a moment, but when I place the song and listen to the lyrics, “Everything I Need” by Skylar Grey hits just a little too close to home.
I walk to the edge of the dance floor with the rest of my tablemates without even thinking about it. But when I find myself behind Vinny and unable to breathe properly, I know I can’t stay.
“I think I’m going to go,” I murmur in Vinny’s ear, and use all the strength I have left to keep my voice steady.
“What?” he demands and whirls around. Those green eyes are only another hit I can’t take right now, so I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I’m getting one of my migraines.” And okay, that I can’t deny, is a lie. Not that I have migraines, but that it’s happening now.
“Do you want me to drive you?” I risk a glance and regret it when I’m faced with the concern on his face. Just another thing to feel like shit about .
“No, I think I have enough time to get home. You stay here.” I can hear the desperation I can’t hide that time, and that means Vinny can probably hear it too. “Have fun with your friends, Vinny.”
“If you’re sure,” he says, sounding unsure. “I’ll come by later, and bring you fresh cold presses, yeah?”
“I have some at home,” I blurt, impatient now that I finally have an out. “And I’ll probably just sleep the whole day. I’ll text you tomorrow.” I don’t even know if I mean that, but the determined look he sports right now makes me feel more threatened than cared for.
It’s fine , I tell myself as I walk away while everyone is still focused on the newlyweds. The panic will go away soon enough, it always does.