Page 16 of Actions and Reactions (All It Takes #5)

“He’s not the same anymore,” I tell her, and I feel that loss deep inside me.

“There are glimpses now and then. He’s fucking awesome at his job, and I know he still wants to be the best. And he’s proven to everyone at the Pirates that he is the best we can ask for, but he’s chasing that greatness still. ”

“Thank you, Ivan,” she says softly.

“No problem.”

I nod and then make my way to the parking lot, but when I’m in my car with the engine running, I don’t know where to go.

I can’t fathom going back to my place, seeing that wall, reliving Si’s pain. So even though it’s late-ish and no one will be around, I make my way to the practice rink.

Maybe the ice under me will give me some clarity.

It doesn’t.

But it brings me a peace I know I couldn’t find anywhere else.

I don’t know how long I’m on the ice, skating without any real plan or need to practice any moves.

“You know I don’t actually know how to skate?”

The loud comment brings me up short and I find Gab standing by the bench, her chin resting on her fist.

I glide over to her.

“What are you doing here? And what do you mean you don’t know how to skate?”

That’s . . . insane.

“I was working late and heard you just now as I was leaving.” She shrugs. “And I never had any reason to learn to skate. Will you teach me?”

I know damn well she wants something, but I can’t say no to her, so I nod and walk with her to the equipment room. As I find the smallest pair of skates we have, I get her some socks and set her up, all the while wondering if she knows Si’s in the hospital.

How could she know?

“What’s going on, Eagle?” she asks softly.

I stand and back away. There’s no reason not to tell her, so... I tell her. It all spills out of me in a string of incoherent thoughts, and when I’m done she holds up her hands. I pull her up and she pats my cheek.

“That’s a lot, and I’m glad he got the care he needs. Now, let’s try to think about something else since there’s not much else we can do, huh?”

“Yeah, okay.”

She’s wise, so who am I to argue with her?

Also, I can’t deny there is some pride blooming in my chest. Out of everyone on the team she asked me to teach her to skate, and I’m not about to fumble that, so...

“Have you ever used roller skates?”

“Yes, I used to roll around the Santa Monica pier when I could get away.”

“I don’t know why, but I can’t picture you growing up in LA.”

She chuckles lightly and I get back to the matter at hand.

“Well, it’s similar in the main movements, so you push and glide.”

“Okay, let’s do this.”

We step onto the ice and thank God I’m right behind her because I can steady her when she immediately wobbles.

We spend an hour on the ice, and she takes to it easily enough, though she panics whenever she picks up some speed.

I feel lighter when we’re done, and I’m about to thank her when she takes out her phone, and looking down at it announces, “Come on. You don’t need to be alone tonight. I’ll make you some dinner and you can use one of the guest rooms at my house.”

“What? No, Gab, I couldn’t possibly?—”

“Shut up and do as I say, Ivan,” she snaps, but it’s motherly, so... I shut up and do as she says.

“Come on, you’re dicing,” she orders when we walk into her house.

She made me leave my car at the rink and informed me she’ll be driving me everywhere.

“Okay,” I mumble, and follow her instructions to the letter. But when the time comes to do some actual cooking, I walk around the island and sit on one of the stools. “When can I have my car back?”

“Tomorrow, probably. When you’re no longer alone. But if I have to act like your mom until Lyla gets here, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“My mom isn’t coming here,” I protest.

Gab snorts and shakes her head without turning to look at me.

“Of course she is. I called her. ”

“You told on me to my mom?” I demand, feeling betrayed.

Gab does turn this time and stares me down for a few seconds, which is more than enough for the betrayal to disappear and shame to fill me up.

“You might possibly become the best hockey player ever in a few years, Eagle, but for now you’re still a twenty-two-year-old kid and I will treat you as such.

Kids need their mothers or fathers, that’s just the way it is.

You need your mom and possibly your dad, though I didn’t want to assume. So yeah, Lyla’s on her way.”

I take a moment to think what to say. “You really think I’m going to become the best?”

“It’s insane that that’s the one thing you focus on out of everything I said, but yeah, I think you will if you really want it.”

“Everything else you said I kinda knew already, Gab,” I defend myself, though it’s weak at best. Hockey is always on my mind, only second to Silas...

Not thinking about it.

I’ll focus on the other thing, then, because if Gab says Mom’s on her way, then there’s no stopping it, which means there’s nothing to talk about anyway.

Also, now that she said it, I realize I do want my mom to come and get me, desperately, but if I focus on that then I’ll probably burst into tears, and no one wants to see that, especially not Gab.

“Jules already had a Hart trophy when he was twenty-two,” I argue.

“You have three Stanley Cup wins and he only had one, though,” she counters easily and pulls the pan away from the flame. “You won the Calder Memorial trophy your rookie year, and Jules didn’t. You live up to people’s way-too-high expectations, and Jules never had to deal with that.”

I don’t have anything to say to that, so I just keep quiet.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to think about Silas, and the fact that he’s probably always going to resent me, but for tonight, I let myself be pampered just a little by Gab.