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I buried my head in his shoulder as I got close to the edge, but he pulled me back so he could see my face, cupping both my breasts and teasing my nipples with his fingers as I coiled tighter, and tighter, and overflowed into waves of ecstasy.

I vaguely wondered as I cried out, what he found so fascinating about my orgasm face.

When I was done, Joel lifted me off him and put me down on the floor, climbing on top of me and feeding himself deep into me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer, kissing him furiously, our tongues tangling, dancing as he fucked me slowly. He broke our kiss, pushing my hair out of my face and leaning back to look at me.

“Why is sex so different with you?” he asked in a low voice as he moved inside me gently.

I bit my lip. “Different better, I hope?”

He picked up the pace, and I swallowed heavily as I felt the ache inside start to hike up again.

“Better, definitely better,” he groaned. “I can normally last for hours, but with you … fuck, Mel!”

I clung to him as we both came together.

He propped himself up on one arm and looked at me; his lips swollen from kissing and his eyes bright from coming.

I smothered the urge to reach up and stroke his face – I was still totally unsure about what the protocol was for this particular kind of casual sex.

Joel smiled at me as he pulled out of me and sat up, propped against the lounge. I lay and watched him, feeling uncomfortable about how much I liked looking at him: naked, sex-mussed, with a five o’clock shadow from our long flight.

“I think I need a shower,” I muttered, struggling to my feet – my legs wouldn’t hold my weight properly.

Joel was just too good at what he did. It wasn’t fair.

How could one man get so much talent in the sack?

No wonder he slept around – it was almost like he owed it to womankind to show us all how great sex could really be.

I clenched my fists as I thought about that. I didn’t want him to sleep with anyone else but me. But it was hardly my decision, was it? I couldn’t just have him all to myself, not unless … no, I was not going there.

“Mind if I join you?” he murmured in my ear. I felt tingles all over me as his breath tickled my neck. I shrugged mutely. It seemed that I was unable to deny him anything he wanted.

Bad, bad situation to be getting into, Melanie Black.

I led the way into the bathroom, flicking on the light. I froze in the doorway. Joel bumped into me, not having expected me to stop so suddenly.

“What’s up, Stink?” he asked, peering over my head into the room. I stared for a moment at the reflection of the two of us in the mirror, naked, and hated the way I liked it so much, then I focussed on the reason that I’d stopped.

“I’m not really sure, but something feels weird in here. I normally leave the shower curtain closed, but it’s open. And I never fold my towel like that before I hang it up,” I pointed to the towel rack, where my fluffy white bath towel was neatly draped. “I normally just chuck it over the rail.”

Joel shrugged in the mirror, but his eyes were serious.

“Maybe you left it a bit neater knowing that you’d have Amanda coming in to feed Connor,” he suggested. I shook my head – it was such a long time ago, or it felt that way, and so much had happened that I couldn’t remember how I’d left it.

That reminded me that I hadn’t seen Connor since I’d gotten home – that in itself was weird. Usually he was circling my ankles like lightning when I walked in the door, begging for attention and food. I pushed past Joel and walked into the bedroom, calling his name.

I heard a bemused meow from under the bed. I bent down and took a peek under – there he was, eyeing me grumpily. I guess he’d probably gotten annoyed that the first thing I did when I got home was have sex on the lounge. And the living room floor.

I grinned in relief. That was when I noticed the bedding. It was all put together differently. Just as neat and tidy as I would have left it, but not made up the way I liked it.

I added this to the mystery of the bathroom. Maybe I’d left it in a mess and Amanda had tidied up.

Or maybe my mother had been dropping by even after I told her not to. That might be more to the point. I’d have to change the locks. I growled and stomped back into the bathroom. The water was running and Joel was already in the shower.

I paused, uncomfortable again. Sex was one thing, but showering together just felt too intimate, too …

couple-y. I knew that Joel wasn’t interested in being a couple.

But maybe he didn’t read as much into the whole showering together thing as I did.

Maybe he showered with all the girls he slept with.

I’d only ever showered with Grant, and that was only after we’d been sleeping together for a couple of years.

“Come on in, the water’s warm,” Joel joked as he stuck his head around the curtain, and I swallowed my nerves and stepped in.

He looked even better all dripping with water than he did dry, and I coughed as my breath caught in my throat. I reached for the soap and self-consciously started to lather myself up. I could feel Joel watching me, and I blushed and tried to pretend that it didn’t totally weird me out.

I felt the words bubbling to the surface. “Okay, Joel, I have to know. What is this?” I asked quietly.

Joel smirked at me. “This is called a shower, Stinky. It’s what people do when they want to get clean.

” He moved closer to me and grabbed a handful of my butt.

“Or dirty,” he muttered suggestively. I could feel his erection pressing against my hip bone.

How could he be ready to go again already? I took a step away from him.

“Don’t avoid the issue. What is going on here?” I gestured to him and then to me, back and forth with my hand.

Joel shrugged. “Well, we’re … having sex. Stink, it’s no big deal. People can just enjoy having sex with each other without there having to be something going on. Nothing else has to be different. I can still be your coach.”

I looked down. Yes, we could just enjoy having sex and keep on going the same as usual. I could handle that, I thought. But there was one thing I knew I couldn’t handle, and I had to bring it up, no matter how afraid of his answer I was.

“Will you be having sex with other girls too?” I asked in barely more than a whisper. There was a long, awful moment where I could hear nothing but the sound of the water splashing down.

“Well, I don’t have any immediate plans to sleep with anyone else, Mel,” Joel said. “And, I promise that if that changes, I’ll be honest with you.”

I sneaked a peek up into his eyes, and he was gazing down at me earnestly. I believed him. I wasn’t sure if that was a total mistake, but I did believe him.

He reached out and pulled me against him.

His chest was the perfect height for me to rest my forehead on, and I did, because I couldn’t gaze into his eyes the way he seemed to be able to gaze into mine.

But then I found myself staring down, past his washboard stomach and further to …

oh my God. He really was raring to go again.

Should I, or shouldn’t I? I couldn’t decide. And then I realised that if I couldn’t decide, it was probably best to say no. I closed my eyes so the sight of his huge erection wasn’t able to affect my judgement.

“I think you should go home now, Joel,” I muttered. “I have to unpack and I badly need sleep.”

And I have a lot of issues to sort through , I added silently.

Joel switched the water off without a word and stepped out of the shower. He dripped his way over to the shelves where I kept my towels and pulled one out, drying himself matter of factly. I tentatively followed, pulling the towel that I was sure I hadn’t folded like that from the rack.

Joel walked naked out to his suitcase by the front door and unzipped it. I followed him, my towel wrapped around me. I could definitely get used to him walking around my apartment naked .

Uh, what’s gotten into you, Melanie Black??? What are you thinking? You can’t have him. You don’t want him, not in that way at least. Do you?

I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Which was why I was sending him on his way. The longer we spent in this weird little situation, the more likely it was that I would convince myself that this was real, that this was something more than sex. That I wanted something more with Joel Herbert.

Joel didn’t seem to mind me standing watching him as he got dressed. In fact, he grinned at me as he dragged his underwear on. I tried not to be affected by the way his muscles moved under his skin. I failed.

When he was fully clothed and his suitcase was all zipped up, he opened the front door and winked at me.

“Thanks for a great time, Stink,” he said with feeling as he dragged his suitcase out the door.

It felt like such an inadequate goodbye, but what had I really been expecting after all? “ Mel, I can’t live without you ”? No. Or … maybe? No, definitely not.

I stood frozen in the doorway. I wondered whether he would kiss me goodbye, and then I decided that him kissing me would be a bad thing. It wouldn’t be at all helpful when I was trying to sort out how I felt about this whole situation.

He stopped at the top of the stairs and half turned back to me, a look of indecision on his face. I held my breath.

“Hey, Stink, you can have a few days off if you want – you’ve earned it. Come round on Saturday and we’ll start talking about America then.”

With that he turned and walked down the stairs without another word, leaving me standing in my doorway wearing nothing but a towel and fighting off wave after wave of misery.

Stupid, stupid girl! I admonished myself. You knew when you were getting into this that it was just a physical thing. Why are you suddenly upset that it’s nothing more than that?

I trudged back inside, ignored my full suitcase near the door and went straight into my room.

Connor had emerged from under the bed and was glaring disgustedly at me from my pillow.

I dropped my towel in the doorway and moved over to the bed, dragging the covers back and huddling down under them, lifting Connor under with me.

“I know, mate. Mummy’s making some pretty dumb mistakes this year. I’m disgusted with me, too,” I whispered to him. He turned his lamp-like gaze towards me and started purring.

He was just about the only male in my life that I knew exactly where I stood with.