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CHAPTER ELEVEN

Last Night In The Desert

“ Y ou did great, Mel. Your form was fantastic through second and third sets. Yu Yang is an absolute freak! I wouldn’t be surprised if she takes out the whole tournament,” Joel comforted me, passing me my water bottle.

I took a slug. “And hey, I beat Norieva first round!” I puffed, stripping out of my dress and heading for the ice bath and a rub down with a local physiotherapist Joel had contracted.

Yu, only sixteen and the youngest player at this tournament, had surprised me in the first set, beating me six three. I’d clawed my way back in the second set, ending it at six two, but it hadn’t been enough. She’d taken the match in the third set.

Joel had convinced the WTA that I would immediately walk from any press conference the second any questions relating to Steve or Pete Levine were asked. As a result, the press conference had been my favourite kind: short and sweet.

We ducked into the players’ lounge for a free meal and then we left the tournament.

It was a weird feeling, but one that tennis players have to get used to.

You come to a tournament and your aim is to go all the way.

When you bow out after only a couple of rounds, it feels a little empty.

The hardest part is taking it in your stride and moving on, preparing for the next one .

“Stink? You on another planet?” Joel asked me as we climbed into a hire car. I shook myself.

“Oh, no, just thinking about how strange it is to be so worked up to make something happen, and then it just … doesn’t.”

Joel chuckled. “You’re not the only person in the world to have felt that way, Mel.”

“Have you ever felt that way? Like, really, have you ever wanted something so badly, it aches, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t have it?” I looked over at him. He glanced at me for a moment, before pulling his sunglasses out of the breast pocket of his polo shirt and putting them on.

“Of course not. I always get what I want,” he replied. But I caught a hint of something odd in his tone, and after that he didn’t look at me for the rest of the car ride. Sometimes I just couldn’t figure him out.

“So, what are we going to do now?” I asked as we rode the lift up to Ben’s apartment. Joel still had his sunglasses on.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll try and get us on an earlier flight home – I want to get back to Mum. Just as long as you don’t mind your hot sex with Ben being cut short.” He grinned cheekily.

I grimaced. I hadn’t been back to Ben’s room after that first night. I’d used the excuse that I needed to focus on the tournament. What excuse was I going to use now?

The doors snicked open into Ben’s apartment. Afternoon sunlight was streaming through the glass roof into the pool. The water glimmered enticingly.

“I think I might take a dip,” I said to Joel as I headed towards our bedrooms.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

I looked at him in surprise. “Since when have you ever asked permission before?”

He took his glasses off and grinned wickedly at me. “Right, don’t know what got into me for a moment there, Stink.” He disappeared into his bedroom.

Inside mine, I pulled on my yellow bikini – I wasn’t planning on swimming any laps today. I grabbed a towel and returned to the pool area, sliding into the comfortably cool water and floating on my back.

Joel sauntered in, wearing board shorts for once.

“Oh, you covered up for me – thank you!” I called cheekily. He jumped into the water beside me, sending little waves over me.

“And you decided to uncover for me ! How thoughtful of you.” He ran a couple of fingers across my exposed belly. I gasped, inhaling a mouthful of water.

“Jesus, Mel, the pool is supposed to stay outside your lungs!” Joel cursed as he hauled me upright and patted my back as I coughed and spluttered.

“And your hands are supposed to stay away from my bare skin,” I grunted, still catching my breath. I looked up to see his eyes glinting with … something I couldn’t name.

He took a step towards me. “Why fight this, Mel? It’s inevitable, you know.”

“What exactly is inevitable, Joel?” I asked, stepping backwards.

He advanced on me again. “That one day you’re going to snap, and you’ll beg me to touch you everywhere .

” He stepped closer again, skating his fingers across my ribs.

My skin burst into goosebumps under his touch.

My breath caught in my throat. My nipples puckered as his fingers flitted up, stroking the undersides of my breasts through the thin bikini fabric.

Something in me did snap then. I lifted the string of my bikini top over my head, letting the triangles drop away from my breasts.

I glanced down long enough to see how my nipples jutted towards him lewdly, before biting my lip and looking back to Joel.

His mouth was a perfect ‘O’. My heart pounded, even as I took another step backwards, out of the reach of his questing hands.

“Take a good look, Joel, because this is the closest you’re ever going to get.”

“Uh, aren’t you two a little old to be playing ‘you show me yours, I’ll show you mine’?” Ben’s deep voice asked from the side of the pool. He was stunning in his conservative work suit, but it didn’t make me tingle one little bit. I hastily put my boobs away, avoiding Ben’s gaze, cheeks flaming.

Joel cleared his throat, eyes still intent on me. “If we’d gotten to the part where I showed her mine, we would have been playing a much more adult game.”

What the fuck was I thinking ? I climbed out of the pool, wrapping my towel around me and rushing back into the house. I heard Ben’s footsteps, but Joel’s voice called him back.

“I wouldn’t follow her if I were you.”

My chest tightened and I wheezed as I ducked into my room. Had Joel been warning Ben about my bad mood or warning Ben about something else entirely?

Not my circus, not my clowns , I told myself as I closed my bedroom door on the humiliation.

Safe alone in my room, I flung the towel down and tore my bikini off, jumping into a shower hot enough that I wouldn’t feel the heat of my embarrassment. I’d just offered my tits to Joel! Had I been trying to shock him? The way my nipples had strained towards him suggested otherwise …

I scrubbed shampoo into my hair, cringing. I almost hadn’t moved away when those big hands were reaching towards my breasts; a little voice in the back of my mind whispered sordid things about what might have happened if Ben hadn’t arrived when he did.

God! Why did I put myself in that situation? With Joel no less?

My phone rang. Jumping out of the shower, I half wrapped a towel around me and grabbed for it.

“Mel! Hey, I was live-streaming your game. That Chinese chick is a freak !”

“Hi, Brad. Yeah, she’s something else alright.”

“Are you upset?”

I shrugged. “A little bit. But I played hard, so it’s just a lesson learned. Joel’s going to try and get us an earlier flight so that he can spend some time with his mum before we leave for California.”

“Great, Mel! I miss you. I would say Amanda does too, but she’s been too busy with Thomas – it’s almost sickening how cute they are together.”

“Oh God, Brad, I forgot,” I gasped, “I promised to call you as soon as I arrived, and I didn’t and that was six days ago! I’m so sorry!”

Brad laughed lightly. “It’s okay, Smell. I figured you were busy: you’ve got enough to think about when you’re competing. Besides, I can live vicariously through Joel’s Instagram updates.”

“Joel’s Insta … is he posting me on Instagram?”

“Honestly Mel, don’t you check your notifications? He tags you in everything.”

“I’ve banned myself from social media. I still have a sour taste from some of the shit people said about me.”

“Well, Joel definitely takes a lot of great shots of you.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to call. I’ll make it up to you – let’s catch up for dinner and drinks. You, me and Amanda, and Thomas too I guess, when I get home.”

“Sounds great, Mel. I’d better go, it’s late and I start clinical placement tomorrow.”

“Good luck!”

I hung up the phone feeling much calmer – Brad had that effect on me. I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes, working up the motivation to get back in the shower to condition my hair.

“Hey Stink, I’m sorry about before, okay? Are you –” Joel stopped short as he eyed me naked except for my towel that had fallen open. I leapt up, tightening it around me.

“Christ, Joel, don’t you know how to knock?!” I demanded. Then it sunk in. “Hold on, did you just apologise to me?”

Joel choked out a cough and met my eyes, a hint of a smile on his face. “Yes, I did apologise. I guess I owe you another one – sorry for walking in on you in the middle of … going to town on yourself?”

I glowered through my blush. “I wasn’t ‘going to town’, thank you very much, and you should always knock no matter how you expect to find someone, before you enter their room. ”

He cocked a smile at me. “But then I’d never get to see you in all your beautiful nakedness!”

I nudged him back out the door. “I’m sure you’d cope.”

He braced his foot in the door to stop it from closing, and he stared right into my eyes.

“I am sorry about before. Ben asked me to tell you to shower and get dressed, because he’s taking us out for dinner tonight. And also, I’ve got us on a flight tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay. Um, what’s the dress code for this dinner? Casual I hope …”

Joel’s brow furrowed. “Stink, when it comes to Ben, there’s no such thing as casual.” He took his foot out of the door and walked away. I watched his retreating back, an ominous tingle shooting up my spine.

No such thing as casual.

God , I prayed fervently as I conditioned my hair, please get me out of this mess without hurting Ben’s feelings, or making him mad at me.