Page 43 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend (Chicago Awakenings #2)

PARKER

December

S oft lips brush against my own, rousing me from sleep.

Oakley. His mouth on mine is the most comforting feeling I’ve ever experienced—a sense of belonging, of home that I’ve only ever associated with him.

I chase his lips as he tries to pull away, my eyes aren’t even open yet, and I’m ignoring the soft beeping that must be his alarm. I’m not ready to be apart from him.

There’s stubble on both of our faces, and I love the rough scratch of it rubbing together as we deepen the kiss.

He’s firmly cupping both sides of my face, tongue licking into my mouth desperately, like he wants to be inside of me in any way that he can.

I alternate fighting him for control of the kiss and letting him take the lead.

I try to move my hands into his hair, but my arm is caught on something, preventing me from reaching him.

I pull back to see what it is and he lets go as I finally open my eyes and take in my surroundings.

We’re not in our condo like my half-asleep mind had assumed.

I’m laying in a hospital bed and the thing tugging my arm is an IV.

Shit. How did I forget I’m in the hospital?

The events of the last few days come rushing back to me all at once, and I’m suddenly much more awake.

“Oakley, what the fuck are you doing here? This is still Atlanta, right? How long have I been out if you’re already here?

” I’m so confused by his arrival that I just keep asking questions without actually giving him any time to respond.

I’m pretty confident I hadn’t even had the chance to tell him where I was or what had happened yet, but somehow he’s already here.

I’d been panicking over telling Oakley everything. I begged every nurse, doctor, lab tech—really anyone who’s come into my room—to lend me a phone charger so that I could talk to him, but no one had.

I glance around the room, wondering if Aspen came back, but Oak and I are alone.

“This is still Atlanta,” he confirms with a smirk.

I’m glad to see that he’s smiling. He was so concerned about being apart, and I had to go and end up in here.

I expected him to be pissed. “I’m not sure when you fell asleep, but Aspen called me a few hours ago.

I think a nurse gave her a phone charger, and she told me what happened.

I left right away. I didn’t actually bring anything with me.

I just walked out of my family Christmas party…

” he admits, trailing off like he isn’t sure he should have been so honest about dropping everything to be here.

“Won’t that worry them?” I point out.

“Beck and Cody saw me leave. I have a feeling my entire family knows exactly where I am,” he says in a strange tone that makes me think there’s more to that story.

Did something happen? Maybe he ran into an ex while I was gone, or met a man he’s interested in and wants to date?

Maybe the time apart was all he needed to decide he was done experimenting with me, and now he’s ready to find someone to settle down with.

Did he come here to end things with me in person so that he could properly date this new mystery person?

One of my monitors starts beeping loudly, pulling my attention away from the dark spiral my thoughts have turned into.

“Woah, Parker. What’s wrong?” Oakley’s eyes are wide as his gaze pings from me to the monitor. “You’re breathing really fast and your heart rate just jumped up.”

I try to calm down and force myself to breathe and ask him rather than making assumptions. “Did you come here to end things between us then?” I choke out, not sure I want to hear his answer.

“What? No! The opposite actually. Why would you think that?” he rushes to reassure me, and the monitor stops alarming. It’s embarrassing to have such obvious proof of the effect he has on me.

“I just thought that maybe you met someone while I was gone…” I trail off.

“No. We were apart for less than forty-eight hours. Jesus, how am I fucking this up already?” His eyes are wide, pleading with me for something I don’t yet understand as he runs a hand through his hair, messing up the usually styled strands.

He only manages to look hotter the less put-together he is, though, and I have to force myself to ignore my lust for him and focus on his words as he continues.

“Parker, I came here because I never should have been away from you in the first place. We should both be in Chicago right now, enjoying Christmas with our families together like we always have. And you sure as shit shouldn’t be in the fucking hospital!

I don’t know exactly what happened to land you here, but I should have been there to prevent this from happening.

I broke my promise. I wasn’t there when you needed me, and I’ll never forgive myself?—”

“Hey, calm down. It’s okay,” I hurry to interrupt his rant before he can continue any further with that completely wrong line of thinking.

“I’m fine, and you didn’t do anything wrong.

There’s nothing you could have done.” I don’t want him to feel guilty in any way.

I think we’re both struggling not to assume the worst right now, so I try to reassure him and explain what actually happened.

“It’s no one’s fault that I’m here but my own.

There were a lot of things that went wrong; forgotten supplies, my continuous glucose monitor got ripped off, and I guess my pump’s insertion site was in scar tissue so I wasn’t absorbing any of the insulin it was trying to give me.

But I ignored how bad it all really was until it was too late. You couldn’t have fixed any of that.”

“Well, if we were together, I would have packed extra supplies like I always do and you would have been okay,” he insists.

My jaw drops in shock. “You do what?”

He looks away, biting his lip, clearly hesitant to expand on his admission, but after a moment of me staring at him expectantly, he goes on.

“I’ve never said anything because I don’t want you to think it’s a big deal, or like I don’t trust that you can take care of yourself, but whenever we travel, I bring an extra glucose monitor and a backup of all of your supplies. ”

“Always?” I ask, completely surprised by the quiet support I’ve never known he’s given me. What else has he done for me without expecting any acknowledgment or thanks?

“Um, yeah. It’s not a big deal. I asked your mom for extra supplies, the first trip we took together back in high school when you came with me to visit Beck at college.

I’ve been to doctor’s appointments with you before, and Dr.Martin loves me.

She wrote a note for me to carry explaining why I would have insulin with someone else’s name on it just in case, but no one’s ever questioned it before.

They always have to go through your stuff anyway at the airport, you’ve never noticed them going through mine? ”

“No, I have not.” Apparently, I haven’t noticed a lot of things.

“Well, I’ll be there next time. I won’t let this happen again,” he says seriously, taking my hand in his and holding my gaze.

“Oakley, it isn’t your job to take care of me,” I try to point out.

He rolls his damn eyes again, and I’m not sure what I’ve done to frustrate him this time. Even though a part of me wants to scold him, I can’t get past how much I hate the idea of being a burden.

His expression grows more serious before he finally softly asks, “What if I want it to be?”

I think I’m lost again, not following what he’s really trying to say. “What do you mean?”

“What if I want to take care of you?”

“Oak, you already do. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for. I had no idea you were that prepared to help me if I needed it. I just don’t want you to feel obligated?—”

“Fuck, Parker, just let me talk,” he interrupts. “The whole way here, I was preparing a big declaration, and I feel like I’m just making it worse. I don’t feel obligated to help you because you’re my best friend. I want to help you because I want to be so much more than that!”

He’s squeezing my hand now, like he’s afraid I’ll pull back or try to break the connection with him, but I’m gripping him back just as tightly.

Could he really be saying what I think he is?

His shoulders rise as he inhales deeply, seeming to hold his breath for a moment as he continues to stare at me, searching my face for something.

Whatever it is, he must find it, because he nods sharply before finally letting it out.

He continues, his voice more confident than before.

“I can’t keep pretending like I’m not in love with you, Parker.

It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, and I really hope that I haven’t just ruined everything by telling you, but you’re my person, you always have been.

I’ve never had to filter myself around you before, and I can’t do it any longer. ”

I feel like someone’s replaced my IV fluids with helium, like if Oakley let go, I might just float away.

I’m overwhelmed by the different emotions racing through me: happiness, disbelief, fear.

I can’t believe he’s really telling me this, that Oakley could actually feel the same way about me that I do him.

I’ve been so convinced that this thing between us was purely physical for him, that he still saw me as his best friend, and that I was just a convenient experiment—someone he was comfortable exploring his sexuality with.

He’s always been so excited about the idea of getting married one day, of having a wife and family, and maybe I have some ingrained homophobia or biphobia or something else that I was ignoring, but I had just assumed that meant he would still want that exact situation in the future.

That he would never consider anything more with me than what we’ve already been doing.