Page 22 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend (Chicago Awakenings #2)

OAKLEY

September

A ll throughout dinner and the show last night, I could not get Parker’s O face out of my mind.

Or his giant cock. He’s been my best friend for long enough that I knew he was packing, but I’ve never seen him hard before, and that thing is massive. I’m surprised that his exes weren’t constantly walking funny. Do people really even like dicks that are that big?

My own cock twitches as I picture it, so I guess I seem to like how big it is .

The whole situation was pretty hot too .

Especially when I was thinking about why he was so hard.

Was it just from watching me? Is he a voyeur or something?

We’ve never talked about kinks, mostly because I assumed we didn’t really have any to talk about, but maybe he likes to watch other people get off.

I would definitely volunteer again.

Ugh. I shouldn’t be thinking that. Things are complicated enough between us right now. I don’t need to be adding more mutual orgasms to the mix .

Parker is my person, and the last few months of us being so stiff and careful around each other have left me feeling completely untethered. I need to get my act together so that things can go back to normal between us.

Not that coming my brains out while watching him get himself off was ever our norm, but things were never awkward after hearing each other do that same thing in college. Maybe we can use this as a tipping point, a fun moment that pushes us back to the way things have always been.

We kissed and I made things weird when I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Yesterday, I confirmed that Parker is sexy as fuck, and now that I know that, I can move on.

Maybe I just need to get some of my confusing thoughts out, and then when I actually talk about it, everything will make sense again.

I’ve always been the type of learner who needed to explain things out loud to someone else to fully grasp them myself.

In school, Parker used to let me pretend to teach him concepts that he definitely already knew, so that I would remember them.

As an adult, I always have my best ideas for the company when I’m talking them through with Parker or other members of my team.

Why didn’t I think of this before? Maybe the reason I’ve been so weird with Parker is because I’ve been trying to suppress my feelings. I’m so used to sharing literally every mundane detail of my life, so maybe bottling them up has turned me into this awkward version of myself.

Obviously, Parker is not the ideal person for me to talk this through with. If I end up confirming that the kiss, and now the shared orgasms, meant more to me than they did to him, I don’t want to make things even weirder between us.

But Parker isn’t my only friend. Actually, I have someone who might know exactly what I’m going through.

Cody and my brother are back in the city, officially together now.

Cody didn’t realize that he was bi until he was almost thirty.

Even knowing he went through that didn’t clue me in, though.

Apparently, my own bi-awakening took me literally kissing my best friend, and then watching him come, for me to acknowledge a desire I’ve been ignoring for most of my life.

I pull my phone out and find Cody’s number, immediately hitting the call button. I don’t want to wait around for him to respond to a text.

He answers on the second ring. “Hey, Oakley! Everything okay? I don’t think you’ve ever called me before.

Not that I’m not always happy to hear from you,” he says before I can respond to any of it.

He’s kind of a rambler, always excited and peppy.

It’s cute how he and my brother balance each other out with how different they are.

“I’m fine,” I assure him. “Just wanted to check if you guys were home. I was wondering if I could stop by for a bit?”

“Oh, yeah, we’re home for the next few hours at least, you guys can come by whenever!” He sounds thrilled by the suggestion, and I smile, but realize that he said “you guys,” so he must assume Parker is coming too.

“Just me today,” I say, not sure what excuse I’ll give, but I know I want to talk to Cody without Parker there.

“Oh, no wonder you’re bored if Parker is busy,” Cody says with a laugh. “See you soon!”

Parker should still be showering; we finished up our workout for this morning not too long ago, so maybe I can leave before he’s done.

I don’t want to give Parker the chance to assume I’m inviting him with me.

I don’t think I’d be able to turn him down, which would defeat the whole purpose of my visit.

So, I sneak into the living space, and when I don’t see him around, I quietly slip out of the condo.

I send him a quick text saying I needed to grab something at the store and didn’t want to wait for him to be done, but I’d be back soon and to let me know if he needs anything. I hate lying to him. I don’t think I’ve ever had a reason to lie to him before, but I need to do this.

When I get to their condo, my brother is the one who’s waiting to answer the door.

“Why would you call Cody and not me?” Beck asks, already sounding suspicious.

“Because I knew he would be more excited to see me than you, obviously,” I tease with an eye roll. I push my way past him into the large space and find Cody waiting at their table with snacks and an assortment of beverage options laid out.

“I wasn’t sure if there was actually a reason that you wanted to come over, like if you needed to talk about something with me, since you called me and not Beck, so I wanted to be prepared,” he explains, gesturing to everything that he’s set out.

“If we’re just bored, then there’s low-carb, high-protein snack options and sports drinks.

But, if we’re upset about something, there’s also chips, desserts, and beer or hard liquor.

I know you like wine, but we don’t usually drink it, so I couldn’t decide what type to put out.

I think there’s some on display somewhere in this fancy place if you want it, though,” he offers with a shy smile.

Cody is always super high-energy and tends to ramble, so I’m not surprised by his over-explanation or by how prepared he was for my arrival.

I love how much he clearly cares about me already. My brother really did find a good one. “Um…” I hesitate, not sure if I want to get right into it, or what it even is that I want to get into exactly. “Maybe the beer,” I finally answer .

I’ve never been a huge drinker because I don’t like to put myself in a situation where I couldn’t help my friends or family if they needed me.

Fuck, even leaving Parker alone like I did now feels so wrong.

But I know talking with Cody and Beck will help, so I try to ignore the unwelcome thoughts about bad things happening if I drink, or am away from Parker, and casually pull up the app on my phone that has his continuous glucose monitor reading.

He’s at 115, which is great, so I actually do calm down a bit.

I open up the offered drink, and Cody and Beck each do the same, looking at me expectantly. I’m not sure how to begin, so I just go for it. “So, Cody, you realized that you were bi later in life than some people do, what was that like?” I ask, hoping that my question isn’t offensive.

“You finally fucked Parker,” Beck accuses with a huge smirk on his face.

“I did no such thing!” I assure him. I really hope that my cheeks aren’t as red as they feel.

“Did he fuck you then?” Beck deadpans, and I involuntarily shudder at the thought of his giant cock somehow fitting inside of me. “That’s a no,” he continues, sounding disappointed for some reason.

“No need to look horrified. Bottoming is awesome,” Cody assures me.

This is so not how I thought we’d start this conversation.

“I’m not horrified at the idea of bottoming,” I hurry to say, really worried that I’ve put my foot in my mouth and forced this conversation to end before it could even begin.

“He just has a huge dick and there’s just no way…

” I trail off my attempt to explain when I see how smug Beck is back to looking.

Cody starts laughing at our exchange, and I left out a frustrated huff.

“I was trying to talk to Cody, thank you very much,” I say, rolling my eyes at Beck and dramatically turning my chair away from him so that I’m directly facing Cody’s direction.

“So, Cody , you were going to tell me about your bi-awakening,” I prompt with a sugar-sweet smile, ignoring Beck's laughter on my other side.

“Yes, what a normal topic of conversation for this random get-together without Parker . I’m sure it has nothing to do with you or why you two have been so weird lately,” Beck adds, unhelpfully.

I ignore him.

“There isn’t really much to say,” Cody apologizes.

“I think that I grew up without a lot of LGBTQIA+ influences and assumed that I would end up married to a woman. But, when your brother tried to kiss me, I realized I really wanted him to, so I must not be as straight as I had assumed,” he says with a shrug.

“Wait, you didn’t realize it until after Beck tried to kiss you?” I ask. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the details about how their relationship began, I just knew my brother was obsessed with him.

“Yeah, looking back, it’s obvious I cared more about him than I did other random people I’d met traveling. I was really excited to hang out with him, to talk to him. I was constantly finding excuses to message him or even talk about him before I realized what it all meant,” Cody says.

Well, that's not helpful. I’ve cared about Parker more than everyone else for the last twenty-one years of my life, nothing has changed there.

“But then the kiss?” I prompt. That’s the part that sounds familiar.

“Yeah, he tried to kiss me and I knew my reaction meant I must not be straight,” he explains with a shrug.

“Wasn’t that confusing?” I ask. I’ve been a mess for months over my own kiss.

“Not really. I try to follow what makes me happy, and I really wanted to keep kissing him,” he says enthusiastically making Beck laugh.

“Cody is not a good example if you’re looking for someone who went through an identity-crisis,” Beck apologizes.

“And neither am I, but if you do have anything else you want to tell us about, I promise to stop giving you shit and actually be a supportive big brother,” he says with an encouraging smile.

I know he means it, but I don’t want to tell them everything. At least not yet.

When Beck accused Parker and I of fucking, I realized that I don’t want to betray his trust and share anything that Parker might not want them to know. Even though Beck is my brother, he and Cody are also some of Parker’s closest friends.

“Thanks, Beck, but there’s nothing else to share,” I say, attempting a relaxed smile. I’m not sure I pull it off, but he nods in understanding.

“Well, if anything changes, you know we’re both always here for you. Or for Parker, for that matter,” he adds. I really am lucky to have him as a big brother.

We move on to discussing the Werewolves because preseason is about to begin, and Beck is really excited with how training camp has been going.

It’s their captain’s final year before retirement, and he’s convinced that they’ll win the cup.

I hope so, but it’s also not the first time I’ve heard him say that.

After about an hour, I decide that I’ve been out long enough and head back home, stopping at a pharmacy to grab some allergy meds in case Parker asks what I needed.

When I get home, he’s on the couch with his laptop open, SportsCenter on in the background, focused on whatever work he’s doing.

It’s a scene that I’ve seen hundreds of times before, but I’ve never stopped to appreciate its domesticity.

I like coming home to him relaxed in our space.

I’m not going to think too deeply about what that means.

I’ve decided to try to take a page out of Cody’s book and just go with the flow, try to act on what makes me happy.

I’ll acknowledge these thoughts about Parker and then move on.

If he wants to continue on the way we always have, the way that we’ve both always been happy with, then there’s no reason for me to stress about it.

If anything changes, I’ll deal with it then.