Page 14 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend (Chicago Awakenings #2)

OAKLEY

June

I ’ve always been the oldest straight Caldwell brother.

Beckett’s been very vocal about being gay for as long as I can remember, so even from a young age, any girl trying to get in with our family name turned to me .

Our younger brothers came to me with their questions about dating and what to do or say when trying to impress the opposite gender.

I’ve never questioned that I’m straight.

But last night didn’t feel very straight. My hard cock twitching when Parker’s erection dug into my ass didn’t feel very straight.

Then he was lifting me off him, ending our kiss and unleashing a storm of confusion in my mind. Questions about what the kiss meant, why it felt so good, and why we had never done it before still swirl violently around in my head, fighting for my focus while I attempt to stay afloat in my routine.

For the first time in over twenty years, I don’t know how to act around my best friend. I don’t know what he’s thinking. And I’m afraid to ask in case it shatters the calm facade of normalcy I’m desperately clinging to.

The girls left early this morning; they had brunch plans with some people from Sage’s work and needed to get ready, leaving Parker and I alone.

We avoided eye contact for a few moments when we first ran into each other in the kitchen, but then, he asked if I was almost ready for our workout, slipping into our normal morning routine.

I eagerly agreed, happy that he wasn’t ignoring me completely.

Last night when he asked if I was okay after the kiss, I was completely unsure how to answer.

I was entirely surprised by how much I enjoyed it and a part of me was pissed he ended it when he did.

But I must have just been really horny, and I’ve always enjoyed kissing, plus our girlfriends were there.

How was I supposed to respond? So, I tried to laugh it off like it was no big deal because I thought that was what everyone would expect me to do.

And Parker immediately agreed, so I’m glad I didn’t admit just how much I enjoyed it if he didn’t feel the same way.

Parker is the most important person in my life, and if last night somehow fucked up our friendship, I would never forgive myself.

If he’s going to continue with business as usual with no acknowledgement of what happened last night, then the kiss must not have been a big deal to him.

Which means I can’t let on how big of a deal it was to me. I don’t want him to worry that I want things to change between us. Because I don’t. Questioning my sexual orientation doesn’t mean I’m suddenly in love with my best friend.

Now we’re in the fitness center, and I’m spotting for Parker as he bench presses a crazy high amount of weight.

I’ve always been impressed by his physique, but I catch myself following a bead of sweat as it drips down the sharp edge of his jaw and wishing I could lick it off of him.

What the actual fuck? I’m not going to lick my best friend .

Again.

There’s no way that all of the people who asked us if we were more than friends over the years actually noticed something that I didn’t.

Right?

It was only a kiss, and I love kissing. Who doesn’t love kissing? Sure, my dick was really hard after a very short amount of time, but I had also just watched Sage and Aspen make out, so there was obviously a lot going on.

Just because kissing my best friend was hot, it doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.

My intense reaction was probably a result of the novelty of the situation; new things are exciting.

He was hard too, but I’m sure that was just because someone was sitting on his lap kissing him, his dick would probably react like that to anyone.

And the girls were watching! I’ve always wondered if I had a bit of an exhibitionism kink.

Jerking off in the same room as Parker in college was really hot.

And after I heard Parker with a hookup in his room, I realized he could also hear mine.

That realization has made sex, and even solo sessions, much hotter when I know he’s home.

Parker also being involved in those situations doesn’t mean anything. Obviously. He’s just always around, and it’s not like anyone else is near me enough for them to hear me having sex.

Of course, all of this thinking about sex has sent blood straight to my cock, so I attempt to subtly adjust my stance.

Fuck. From the position I’m standing at, behind the bench, close enough to spot for Parker, my dick is basically right above his head.

I really hope that he’s focused on the weights and he won't look up at my bulging crotch.

There is no reason for me to be hard right now, dammit. I’ve watched Parker work out a million times, and it has never turned me on like this before.

I’m thirty years old. I shouldn’t be randomly popping wood like I’m a teenager again.

And it’s obviously random, not from staring at Parker and his muscles flexing as he shows off how strong he is.

I would know if I was into guys by now. I’ve known Parker for pretty much the entire span of my memory, so surely something would have clued me in during all that time if I was attracted to him, or any man, for that matter.

He finishes the set, and thankfully, brings up a topic that distracts me from these confusing thoughts. “So is dinner at your grandparents' house still tonight?”

“Yeah, I think Jordan and Adrian were going to come this week to drag Beckett away from work.”

His flight back was this morning. The Werewolves’ loss last night knocked them out of the playoffs. It must have been devastating for him. I’m glad he’ll be surrounded by friends and family tonight for support.

“Are we all driving together?” he asks.

“Yeah, Adrian offered to take us all.” I love that our smallest friend, I think I’ve heard him describe himself as a twink, drives the biggest car.

He says that it’s practical, but I’ve always thought it seemed a little more “soccer mom” than a single guy living in the city really needed.

But, Adrian is a natural caretaker, and I think he likes being able to have the option to bring us all anywhere we need.

He also likes to drive so that he can control the music selection.

Apparently, my 90s and early 2000s punk-rock playlist really offended him the last time I tried to DJ.

I’m relieved we’re all going together so I won’t be alone in a car with Parker for the entire drive to the suburbs.

Which is such a sad thought to acknowledge.

Parker is my very favorite person, and there is no reason I shouldn’t be able to spend a car ride alone with him, no matter how awkward I’m being about the kiss .

“Is he picking us up here, or are we all meeting at his place?” Parker asks.

I’m sure he was in the group chat too, but sometimes he mutes it if they’re sending too many texts while he’s trying to focus on something, and then he forgets to turn it back on.

Plus, he knows I’ll keep him in the loop, so he doesn’t really need to worry about it.

“We’re meeting at Adrian’s in an hour,” I answer stiffly.

I really hope Parker doesn’t realize how strange I’m being.

I don’t want him to think I’m mad at him or anything.

Just super distracted by how soft your lips were last night.

Fuck. I need to get my act together before we’re in front of our friends or they’re definitely going to know something is going on.

Adrian has some upbeat pop playlist going as we head to my grandparents’ house in the suburbs.

“House” might not be the right label, but mansion sounds so pretentious.

Jordan is riding up front with Adrian, and Beck is in the other bucket seat in the second row of the SUV, next to me.

I’d offered it to Parker, but he told me to sit next to my brother and climbed into the third row, probably planning to do puzzles on his phone the whole ride anyway.

Jordan is a reporter, and he’s telling us about some fluff piece his news station made him cover recently about local squirrels and the best at-home squirrel viewing tips. “They wanted me to hold one!” he says, and we all laugh.

“A wild squirrel?” Beck asks, and Jordan shakes his head.

“No, they were trying to get a wildlife specialist with a domesticated squirrel that I could hold during the taping, thankfully they couldn’t find one in time and gave up on the idea.”

“Thank fuck they did,” Adrian adds. “Can you imagine if a wild animal scratched up your pretty face? I’m shocked that they would risk damaging your moneymaker like that!”

“Ha-ha” Jordan responds with an eye roll. But it’s a valid point, he’s hot, and I’m sure his looks help with their ratings. Have I always thought he’s attractive? Is that something only someone who’s attracted to other men would think?

“I have to admit that I was expecting you guys to be in worse moods today, Beck and Adrian,” I say, trying to stay focused on my friends and not thoughts of who’s attractive.

Adrian is Beck’s assistant at the Werewolves organization, but that title doesn’t seem to accurately portray how important I know he is to the company. The loss must have been really hard on him too.

“I’m absolutely devastated! The only reason I even got out of bed was your grandmother’s chef’s baking. You know his fudge is literally to die for,” Adrian answers. “Beck, on the other hand, has seemed perfectly fine about the loss. The traitor,” he adds.

“I’m also very upset!” Beck argues with an eyeroll. “I just have other things to focus on right now that can distract me from hockey,” he explains.

I gasp dramatically. “Nothing has ever been important enough to distract you from hockey,” I tease.

“Fuck off,” he says, giving me a playful shove, but he’s also smiling. He’s been doing that a lot more in the last few months since he met Cody.

“He’s planning to abandon us all and move to some weird town in Montana to be with his one-true-love,” Adrian adds theatrically.

“I am not moving to Montana,” Beck says flatly. “I’m trying to plan a visit there for a few weeks during the off season, it isn’t that big of a deal,” he insists. Interesting that he ignored the whole “true love” thing, but I don’t call him out on that .

“Your entire life has been focused on the Werewolves. You leaving for a month is a big deal,” Jordan adds.

“So, Parker, you’re awfully quiet back there," Beck says, obviously trying to shift the focus off of himself.

“Am I ever particularly loud in a group of people?” Parker deadpans, glancing up from what looks like a sudoku app on his phone.

“Good point,” Beck admits. “But, what’s new with you?” he asks, turning around as much as his seatbelt will allow to face Parker.

“Umm…” Parker mumbles and his cheeks pinken a little like they always do when the focus is on him. I hate when people try to put him on the spot in social situations, and usually I jump in, but I’m completely off my game today with how awkward things feel between us.

He doesn't ever struggle at work, he can talk business and numbers without hesitation, even in large presentations or important meetings, but when the focus is put on him and not the work, he doesn’t love it.

He doesn’t seem to blurt out random thoughts as much as he used to growing up.

I can tell the moment that Parker settles on what to say as he sits up a little straighter and the blush fades.

“Your brother is trying to get me fired by demanding the most expensive resort renovations possible,” he says with a slightly teasing tone.

Teasing is good. It's normal. W e’re totally normal .

“That sounds about right,” Beck agrees with a laugh, then launches into more questions about the resort.

“I’m invited to the opening, right?” Adrian asks in an over-the-top, sugary-sweet tone. He’d no doubt be batting his eyelashes at me if he wasn’t driving.

“Yeah, we’re hoping to do a friends and family soft-opening at the end of next March before the resort is officially open to the public for the peak tourist season. I know there will still be hockey, but I’m hoping that you’ll all be there.”

“Fuck yes, I’ll be there. If the CEO can run off to the mountains for over a month, his assistant can go on a free island vacation to Bora Bora,” Adrian eagerly assures me. “Beck, consider this my official time-off request.”

“I have no doubt that you’ll make it work,” Beck agrees.

“I will also definitely be there. It sounds really cool,” Jordan adds.

“We’ve already launched a marketing campaign in the bridal world and reached out to a few engaged celebrities to see if anyone would be interested in early bookings for next year.

We’ve offered a discounted rate for their promotion,” Parker adds.

“April and May are already fully booked, so we need to make sure everything is ready before then.”

“Sounds stressful,” Jordan replies.

“It’ll be fun!” I insist. Glad that we’re focused on a topic that can distract me from last night. Except there I go thinking about the kiss again.

Dinner should be super fun and not awkward at all.