Page 50

Four Months Later

NEW YORK

“They're perfect,” my husband says.

I look at the two tiny creatures we've brought into the world. Tyr and Aegir. We chose Scandinavian names for our boys, following the family tradition of Odin's maternal grandfather, who always registered male babies with Norse god names.

They are sleeping on their backs after I’ve nursed them, while Odin hugs me from behind, watching over them.

“They are. When I look at these two, it's like being able to touch our love,” I say.

“Even before them, I could already touch our love every day,” he says and gives me a kiss on the head.

I turn towards the bed so I can look at him. “You and the children are my world, Odin. I never imagined I could be so happy.”

He pulls me against his chest, and I feel instantly protected. In fact, I’ve never felt afraid again .

It's not just that I'm not afraid of someone hurting us—I've lost the fear of living.

I no longer feel ashamed of getting words wrong, for example, which still happens sometimes.

During the entire pregnancy, I studied with more discipline because my dream is to be able to read stories to my children. The day I told Odin this, his response was that he was sure I would be able to do it, and it's this faith in me that is restoring my self-esteem.

He also no longer looks like the same man I knew, but in a good way. Gradually, his closed expression has softened. I don't think he'll ever be someone who's outgoing or a joker, but he's finally found joy in his life.

I love seeing him with the boys. They both look like their father, and it's like watching a giant tending to his miniatures.

Having grown up in a home where our time was divided between violence and lovelessness, it's wonderful to see how devoted a parent can be to their children.

“I grew up witnessing my parents' happiness, but I spent many years harboring bad feelings. I didn't know what it was like to simply live life,” he says, as if reading my thoughts. “Being able to wake up every day and be sure that the three of you are safe and nothing and no one can take you away from me is worth my entire fortune.”

“You are a romantic, Lykaios.”

“I've been practicing.” He gives me that smile that comes from the corner of his mouth, which, by the way, has always bewitched me.

Odin tells me more with his gaze than with his words. Sometimes, we communicate like this, simply lost in each other, perhaps because there are no possible words to explain how much we love each other.

Our story is not a fairy-tale romance. We’ve suffered, we’ve fallen in love, we’ve overcome our pain, and in the end, we’ve managed to build our own universe.

I have so much to be thankful for. How could I be stuck in the past?

Of course, there are still some situations that trigger me and I hear my dad's voice and all the bad things that he said to me. Whenever memories like that come back, I make an extra appointment with my psychologist .

Not because I feel fragile but because I will not allow Leandros, even from the grave, to continue to haunt my life.

My father spent almost his entire existence on Earth doing evil. What Odin didn't tell me, Grigori did. Missing girls from the Greek islands, for example. There is no sign that they are alive. Leandros left a trail of destruction wherever he walked and perhaps beyond as well, but in the end he lost everything and we survived.

Even my mother is getting over it. Larissa says that she has been going out and has made some friends in France, where my sister lives with her family. She has spoken to me a few times on the phone, but she refuses to come visit because of Odin. She blames him for all the changes in her life, not the monster her husband was.

I think she's in denial. My psychologist uses that term a lot. She can't come to terms with her past or forgive her own mistakes, so maybe it's better for her right now to pretend they didn't happen or to blame others.

I also understand that it must be hard to remember everything she has put herself through in the name of her love for my father, so I won't be the one pressuring her to change.

I learned that for our transformation to be successful, we need to desire it ourselves. There is no stimulus that comes from outside that can bring about real change.

Odin stands up and takes me by the hand. After arranging the pillows around the twins and turning on the baby monitor, we leave the room.

However, before I can take two steps, he stops and hugs me. “What were you thinking?”

“About changes.”

“Changes?”

“Yeah. Here, inside.” I touch my head.

“Why now?”

“I think a lot about life. For a long time, I've lived inside my own mind, so I like to stop every now and then and analyze how things are going in general.”

“And are you happy with how things are going, Mrs. Lykaios?”

Jesus, that smile will always have the power to make me weak in the knees.

“I love it when you call me that . . . Mrs. Lykaios.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me sure I'm yours.”