Page 40

Elina

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

“Theo, she refuses to talk to me,” I say as soon as he picks up.

“I'm sorry, Elina, but that doesn't surprise me.”

Earlier today, I called my sister to find out for sure what had happened to our mother. What Odin said makes perfect sense. It would be very typical of my father to abandon her now that he has no more use for her and just move on.

God, she must be devastated.

“Actually, even Larissa didn't want to stay on the phone with me. I had to repeatedly insist she listen to me, and when I asked for news of our mother, she said that she was fine but that she didn't want to see me or talk to me.”

“What exactly happened?”

“Leandros left her there, Odin discovered. I don't know anything beyond that.”

“He keeps running from Odin. Do you think it's just because of Orien?”

“No, I don't, and I don't believe it's because of the money he owes him either.” I can't say much because I don't want to be disloyal to Odin .

"What is the reason, then, if not the fear of being accused of murder?"

“I'm sorry, but I can’t talk about it.”

He is silent for a while.

“Theo?”

“I'm here,” he says, then pauses again. “Do you love him?”

“Yes, I love him. I'm happy, Theo. There are many things we need to talk about, but not over the phone. I think . . . I'll have news soon.”

"Don't you feel torn knowing they hate each other?"

“Not anymore. We both know our father well enough to understand that a man like Odin wouldn't waste his time going after him in vain. I think he's gathering evidence to get Leandros arrested.”

“It could be. What if the time comes when you have to choose a side, sister?”

“If Leandros committed those crimes, he must pay for them.”

“I don't know what you're talking about, but surely what he did to Orien is reason enough for him to never roam free again.”

“He has always been cruel, but I never thought he could be a murderer.”

“On the same day that Orien disappeared, he tried to kill me.”

I thought I didn't understand correctly, so I asked him to repeat it.

“That's exactly what I said. He told me himself that day, at the party at Odin's house. He hoped my fear of heights would make my heart stop when he pushed me off the Blue Rock.”

“He pushed you? How did no one know about this?”

“Our mother knew. She just thought Leandros was trying to make me braver. I almost drowned, Elina. It was Orien who saved me.”

"Is that why he had him killed, then?"

“I'm not sure, but I think it might have been the last straw for that monster. He knew that we loved each other.”

“He's a lot worse than I thought. I thought his cruelty was only against us inside the family. Then came the discovery of Orien's death, and then?—”

“Then?”

“Never mind. I can’t say. Anyway, I can't believe he wished you were dead, Theo.”

“I can.”

Days later

Zoe called me more than once today asking how I was doing. She had to go back to North Carolina, but she promised to visit soon.

I can't plan anything right now, though.

I've been pretty busy lately. Yesterday, I went to my first appointment with the medical team and also with the special needs teacher. I had to talk to each one separately, but what left me exhausted was the conversation with the psychologist.

He asked me a lot of questions, and I couldn't relax for a second. It's weird having to reveal what I feel and think when I've spent a lifetime feigning indifference.

I would be lying if I said I'm comfortable with therapy, but I know I need help and shutting myself off won't get me anywhere.

I hear the apartment's alarm go off, and my heart races since I know that soon Odin will appear.

“Are we celebrating?” he jokes as he looks at the set table, but I can see the tension in his face. He's been like that the last few days.

Even when he approaches and gives me a deep kiss, I know something is wrong. Odin is more attentive than ever, almost obsessed with providing everything that I need, but at the same time, every now and then, I catch him staring at me.

After that night when I opened up, I thought our secrets would finally begin to unravel, but I realize he still withholds a lot from me and my gut says it all has to do with my father.

I was going to reply to his proposal today, but now I’m doubting myself.

Has he changed his mind about the two of us?

I'm a lot more confident, but there's still a lot of fear of being rejected, so I decide to test his reactions before I end up making a fool of myself.

“I wanted to cook today.”

He was already heading for the bedroom, his jacket off, but he stops and walks back to where I am. “What's wrong?”

I can’t speak. I suddenly feel like hiding from the world like I've always done.

Loving is scary. I feel completely unprotected.

“Elina?”

I shake my head from side to side, very tempted not to respond, but I don't want to continue being a fake person. "Everything you said to me on the day of the party, has it changed somehow?"

It seems to take him a few seconds to understand what I'm talking about, but then he picks me up and walks into the bedroom.

“I need to turn off the oven.”

“I’ll do it,” he says, right after tucking me into our bed. “I'll be back.”

I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.

To risk saying whatever I want comes at a high price.

I'm insecure as hell.

He comes back and begins to undress. “Ask me again. You want to know if what has changed?”

“Us.”

“No, and on my side it will never change.”His body hovers over me, and as always, I feel protected by the fortress that is the man I love.

“So, what's going on?”

“First you. Why did you decide to cook?”

I avert my eyes from his. “I was going to give you my answer.”

“Answer?”

“You asked me a question almost a month ago. At the time, I said I wasn't able to answer, but I feel ready now.”

“Look at me,” he asks as he turns my face to meet his gaze. “Nothing has changed. I didn't want to pressure you. Before, I didn't know everything I needed to know about the two of us. I was afraid you were going to leave.”

“You’re not afraid anymore? ”

It's his turn to look away. “Not that you’ll leave for lack of love. I know you feel the same.”

“The same?”

“The same love I feel for you.”

I nod. "If nothing has changed, why have you been so pensive?"

“When I asked you to marry me, I didn't consider how it would affect you when the time came to destroy your father.”

“You haven't destroyed him already?”

“Not yet. He is enjoying life freely somewhere on the planet.”

“You want him in jail.”

Instead of responding to my statement, he declares, “I made a promise to someone that I wouldn't stop until he paid for his crimes.”

“To whom?”

“To the man who saved me. He rescued me that day from the fire and made me swear I would make Leandros pay for the death of my family.”

“If you're sure it was my father, then why didn't you hand him over to the authorities?”

He gets up from the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“I can't answer all your questions right now, which is why I haven’t asked you to marry me again. If, when all this is over, you still believe that you love me, I'll be waiting.”

He's almost reached the bathroom door when I say, “That won't change.”

“What, Elina?”

“How I feel about you isn't going to change, so I can answer now.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

He goes to the closet and comes back with a box. “I had planned a special night for the two of us after the masquerade ball. Christos said I wasn't romantic when I first proposed. I'm a little clumsy with these things, so I wanted to fix everything and had dinner prepared on the terrace of the convention center,” he says apologetically as he approaches. “We were going to have musicians and candlelight, as you deserve. ”

I get up and stand in front of him. “But then... that happened,” I say.

“Yes, it happened, and I didn't think I had the right to force you to make up your mind.”

We haven't talked about Naim yet, and to be honest, I don't feel any urge to ask about it, but I've noticed that Odin isn't so uptight all the time about my safety anymore, so something must have happened.

He kisses me on the mouth, but instead of kneeling down like men do in movies, he picks me up and sits back on the bed with me in his arms.

I know what's going to happen, and my heart is simultaneously racing and feeling light.

I think our love story is the craziest ever. Who has ever proposed to their girlfriend wearing boxer briefs?

I look at my man's masculine face. He's not smiling, but I've gotten used to his constantly closed-off way.

“I'm not the best person in the world, Elina. Until I met you, there weren't many good feelings inside me, but since we started dating, you've built a bridge that reaches right into my heart. I didn't plan your arrival—I wasn't even expecting it. I was taken by surprise. I couldn't predict my love for you, but I'm glad it turned out this way, since you haven’t given me the opportunity to screw it up.”

I am attentive to every word. I want to engrave the scene forever on my memory, because now I can dream of my own love story and no longer need to borrow dreams from movies.

“I love you. Every part of you. I'm crazy about your smell, your skin, your mouth, but I'm also passionate about your strength and the way you’ve survived all the obstacles that life imposed upon you. I love your quarrelsome way and also the way you challenge me. I want to live by your side, protect you, and honor you. I want to love your body but also be responsible for your smiles. Marry me. I want you by my side until my last breath here on Earth.”

It's only when my face feels wet that I realize I'm crying.

“I’ve never had doubts about the love I feel for you, only about our secrets,” he finishes .

I know secrets are still a barrier between us, but I won't let that worry get in the way of my happiness. “Yes, I will marry you.”

As I speak, he opens the jewelry box and places a huge diamond ring on my finger.

There's a lot more to be said, but I don't need words right now. I think that when he's ready, we'll talk. I would like him to tell me from the beginning the story of his parents, the role of his savior, and the promise he said he made.

Right now, however, I just need the certainty of what we feel.