Page 21

Elina

CHAPTER TWENTY

I've been drifting between dozing off and waking up for hours now.

It's a much more psychological tiredness than a physical one. Apart from the scratches on my face, nothing hurts. It's inside my head that I'm freaking out.

In silence, I hide all my dread.

From the moment I realized that there was someone in my house, until the moment the other security guards arrived, I felt very scared, because it was the first time that someone had pointed a gun at me.

I grew up watching my father shoot. He's always loved guns, and I know how deadly they can be. All that man had to do was unlock his gun and my life would have come to an end. And I still haven't experienced anything.

Despite being terrified, I fought.

One of our island bodyguards once told me, when I was still a teenager, that no matter what, I should never let the kidnapper take me, because if he did, my chances of surviving would be zero.

That's why I started struggling with all my might. It happened very fast, but at the same time, it felt like the scene was unfolding in slow motion. One second they were trying to take me away, the next, several of Odin's men entered the apartment. I think I was in shock when the man who introduced himself as Grigori arrived.

I don't know what we talked about. The last thing I really remember is Odin telling me to come here, to his house.

Only, now my adrenaline has dropped and the fear has returned with everything else.

I'm all alone.

Not the freeing kind of alone. I have no one.

I can't allow myself to break, because I have no one to pick me up if I fall, so I don't let a single tear escape.

As comfortable as it is, I can't trust that Odin will always be here for me. I'm not his obligation, although he has helped me so far. This time apart has cleared my head a bit.

After he left, I spent the morning daydreaming. Remembering the sensations, his touch, his mouth on mine, but mostly his gaze. I need to be very careful with his eyes. I am easily lost in them.

I put my faking skills into practice for my own self these last few days and pretended I didn't miss him. It worked most of the time, but after what happened earlier, all I want is to be in his arms. Pretending he's not my family's enemy, even though in my heart I know he's not my enemy.

Allowing his command to calm me down, because he always seems to know what decisions to make.

Could I imitate him? Could I pretend to the world that I'm an Odin wearing a dress? People respect him—I think they even fear him—so it wouldn't be a bad thing for me.

I look around the room I'm in. His apartment is beautiful but totally impersonal. It doesn't look like anyone lives here. There's not even a picture frame.

Where are his parents?

Odin was almost an adult when he went to live with Aristeu.

I walk all over the place trying to distract myself, but a few tremors still run through my body every now and then.

The man who brought me here said I should take a shower because it will help me relax, but I don't want to relax. I don't know what room I'm supposed to stay in or even if I'm staying here tonight .

I look at Central Park through the floor-to-ceiling windows. I've always wanted to visit it because it’s been in so many of the romance movies I've seen.

I shake my head at the thought that my own life now feels like a movie. I went from a quiet existence on an island to living in a big city, even having a good-paying job.

Now, like in the movies, I also have an enemy.

I know it was Naim who tried to take me. The men who broke into my house didn't look like they were Americans.

In fact, I don't understand why he bothered to send people after me. The only reason that I can think of is that he doesn't like to lose.

I look at the dark, moonless sky through the window. The apartment is on a very high floor, which makes me feel more secure.

God, should I stay here? I have no idea. I feel like leaving, I want to go home, but I don't have a home anymore.

No, Elina. Don't think about it. You can't afford to be sad right now.

I hear a noise at the front door and my heart races. I should try to hide, run away in case it's those men again, but I'm so terrified that I can't move.

I clasp my hands in my lap, and only when I see the huge figure of Odin do I allow myself to breathe again.

Despite that, I don't move.

We stare at each other in silence, his face still in the shadows.

I don't know if I should have come here. It feels like too much intimacy after our deal. I don't want to confuse things in my head. Also, as my mother repeated over and over again, I need to start taking care of myself.

However, all those resolutions are shattered when he comes over and takes me in his arms.

At first I remain rigid, trying not to need, not to want the comfort he is offering me, but he doesn't seem ready to give up. He hugs me tightly, very close to him.

And then, something strange happens.

Odin is powerful, unshakable, the kind of man who never shows fear, but I feel like something's going on with him right now. Our hug is not a normal hug; it’s like nothing I've ever gotten in my life. The hug of someone who won't let anyone hurt me.

And so, without my permission, my body starts to shake violently. I want to make it stop, but I can't. It's as if it doesn't obey my brain's commands.

The feeling of abandonment hits me and, along with it, the tears of a lifetime.

I don't remember ever crying in front of anyone, and I'm really embarrassed.

“I'm here. Nobody will take you.”

I want to stop crying, say I'm not afraid. I want to go back to my role as an emotions mimic, show that the kidnapping attempt didn't scare me, but I can't.

Today was the culmination of the madness my life has become, so I give up resisting. I wrap my arms around his neck and let myself be taken care of.

I don't know exactly what I am doing by trusting my family's enemy, but the truth is that with Odin, for the first time, I'm able to let my fears surface.

“I fought them,” I say, between sobs.

He strokes my hair. “Of course you fought. You are strong and brave.”He kisses my cheek like he's comforting a child, and I accept his caresses without any restraint this time. Keeping me in his arms, he walks into what I imagine is his bedroom. “What do you want to do?”

“Could you hug me just a little longer?”

He pulls back to look at me. “Is that what you want?”

I nod, and he doesn't say anything else. He just lies on the bed, pulling me against his body.

My eyes feel heavy. His scent and warmth soothe me, and I finally fall asleep.

I wake up a while later and realize it's still night .

His huge, strong body is underneath mine. His arms are still locked around me like when I fell asleep.

When I lift my head to look at him, I see that he's awake and keeping watch on me.

“I'll run a bath for you.”

“It's not necessary. You must be exhausted.”

“I want to take care of you. Will you let me?”

I look at him and see the torment on his face. I think it's the first time we've both really had our guards down. I drink in the masculine countenance that fascinates me so much. The deep black eyes seem to see into my soul, but I can also see his concern for me.

“Yeah.”I cup his face and place a soft kiss on his mouth, but that's not nearly enough.

I want more.

Taking the initiative excites me because I know Odin isn't used to relinquishing control. I deepen the kiss, and as I taste him, I moan with pleasure.

It feels like a century since we last touched, even though it's actually only been a little over four days.

I bite and lick his mouth, and he finally seems to reach his limit. He rolls me over on the bed, getting on top of my body, kissing me back as if he needs my lips as much as he needs air.

I surrender, enjoying all the sensations without putting up any defenses. Without hiding what I'm feeling.

Needy, anxious, dying of longing.

“I want you,” I hear myself say.

His reaction is not what I expect. He gets up and takes off his suit jacket without taking his eyes off me.

It's like watching a giant undress. The muscles I felt under my hands appear beneath the perfectly cut shirt. He doesn't wear a tie, and I follow every button that comes free of its buttonhole. I'd like to take his clothes off myself.

When his chest is bare, I can't look away. He looks tough, solid everywhere. So male!

I’ve never imagined naked men. Until recently, I wasn't interested in sex, but now I'm mesmerized by his body .

To my disappointment, he keeps his pants on, but the bulge in the front of them leaves me in no doubt about how aroused he is.

“I'll be right back,” he says and starts to walk away, but then he seems to change his mind and stops. “Today, you are in charge. Tonight will be all about what you want.” Then he enters the master bathroom.

When he turns around, I notice that a large tattoo covers his entire back. I've never met anyone with a tattoo, or at least not one that big.

There's an open door opposite the bathroom, and I'm guessing it's a closet.

I go inside.

There are mirrors all over the walls, and I take the initiative to undress. I release the buttons on the front of the dress. It's ripped near the hem. I haven't changed my clothes since I was attacked. I was too preoccupied with trying to keep myself mentally sane.

The buttons go all the way to the bottom of the skirt, just above the knee, but I'm in no rush to rid them of their buttonholes.

When I'm done, I drop it at my feet. I know I will never use it again. I won't be able to touch it without remembering what happened.

I could not be here right now; I could be stuck somewhere at the mercy of those men.

My body starts to shake again.

I'm wearing a green bra and panties, and I examine myself in the mirrors. There's a scratch under my ribs on the right side, and there's also a bruise on my thigh.

I look at my breasts, covered by the lace of the lingerie, and at the silk panties that cover my sex. Despite me being thin, my hips are a little wide in comparison to my waist. My mother used to say that my body is of the type that men appreciate.

I am suddenly intimidated. That day in my apartment, I wasn't ashamed, but now I remember that Odin must have dated beautiful women.

I look at the dress on the floor and hold back the urge to put it back on; my courage is starting to leave me.

When I look up again, he's standing behind me.

His gaze burns as it travels all over me, and any doubt I might have had about my body disappears. I bite my lip anxiously, waiting for what he'll do next.

He comes slowly towards me and stands behind me. His fingers touch my waist gently, as if asking for permission, and I place my hands on top of his. He moves closer, bringing our bodies together, letting me feel his desire at the base of my spine.

We look at each other in the mirror.

“So beautiful.” He brushes my hair aside and kisses my neck very lightly, but then he nibbles it and lets his tongue run over my sensitive skin. His hands descend to the waistband of my panties. “Take them off for me.”

Instead of doing what he asks, I unclasp my bra.

When he tightens his grip on me, I know he's holding back. I can feel his breathing become heavier.

My nipples are hard with arousal, and I take his hands again. Intertwining our fingers, I start to pull down my panties.

“Look at both of us in the mirror. Don't look away,” he says.

Moving down just one side of the lingerie with one hand, the fingers of his other hand, still intertwined with mine, touch my sex over the piece. I tilt my head back because the feeling of intimacy is so strong it almost makes me faint.

“You're hot, Elina,” he says as he massages me lightly.

I spread my legs, as there is agony pulsing from between them. A hoarse sound comes from the back of his throat. His hand finds its way towards my pubic hair, diving inside the small piece of fabric, and I feel his finger reaching my pleasure.

“Odin . . .”

“I will devour you. I don't know if I'll be able to stop.”His thumb plays right there as his words shatter my last defenses.

Another finger reaches for my opening and tests it, without invading my wetness, showing me that there won't be any part of me that he will not have. My body takes on a life of its own, and without him asking me to, I coordinate the gentle movements of my hips with my desperate search for more.

“Do you like it like that?”

“Don’t stop. ”

“I won't stop until you soak my hand. And then, I'll start all over again.”He turns my face to kiss me and caresses my nipple. First, very light, but when he feels how overwhelmed I am, his thumb and forefinger tug more urgently.

When his mouth pulls away, I want to haul him back.

I'm in agony, hungry. “Give me your mouth. I need your tongue,” I beg, and he smiles.

“Do you want my tongue inside you? Here?” He licks my lips. “Or here?” he asks, pushing a finger into me again.

I lift my arm behind his head, pulling his hair and sucking his tongue like he taught me to do. “Everywhere. I need you all over my body.”

He seems to have slowed down on purpose. I was very close to coming, and I'm sure he felt it. Despite saying that I'm in charge, Odin is a dominator. He can't give up control completely.

It's just that I'm too desperate to come, and I find myself demanding, “Don’t play with me. I'm burning for you.”

He smiles, satisfied.