Page 46

Odin

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

I open the apartment door, and an unusual silence greets me.

In the beginning of our relationship, Elina was careful with her movements, almost as if she was apologizing for being here. Sometimes, I only noticed her approaching when she was already in front of me, which is unusual because I'm naturally alert and suspicious.

Gradually, however, she began to relax, which made me realize that she was feeling more confident around me.

These days, my Elina is so full of life that I know exactly when she is home or not, which makes me sure that at the moment there is no one here but me. I pick up the phone to call Grigori, but I see a message from him on the display.

She's gone.

The initial panic lasts a few seconds.

There is no more Naim, and at this point, no Leandros, which makes me conclude that Elina has escaped the security guards of her own volition .

I try her phone, but as expected, it goes straight to voicemail. I open the app to track her, but her phone has been turned off.

Concerned as I am, I reach for my laptop to find out where her phone last pinged a tower, but before I can even turn it on, my cell phone rings.

When her picture comes up, my heart rate soars. “Where are you?”

“I needed to think a little. Are you back? Grigori said you would arrive today.”

Guilt makes me silent for a while. I didn't even call while I was in Greece, and I did so knowingly.

The truth is, I feared that hearing her voice would weaken me.

Caught up in all the hate I held inside, I isolated myself from her, even after all we've been through.

“Yes, I'm back. Tell me where you are. I will find you.”

Now that she's called me, I could track her down in minutes, but I'd like her to spontaneously give me her location.

“Close to home, but no need to come to me. I'm almost there.”She hangs up without saying goodbye, and I lean my head against the tabletop, unsure of what awaits us from here on out.

She is pregnant and alone on the street.

She was alone when she found out about the baby, alone while I put a promise above our love.

I walk to the closet to get clothes. I need a quick shower. I feel filthy, and it's not just externally. I am not worthy of what she has given me.

I’m reaching for a T-shirt and boxer briefs when I see, on top of one of the shelves, a box that shouldn't be there.

I know what box that is.

It wasn't so visible before, and that's because I've always been careful to keep it out of my sight so I wouldn't be tempted to open it.

Now, it's all over, and the time has come to put an end to this life of rancor.

Shower forgotten, I pick the box up and take it to the bedroom.

I know Elina probably found it. That would be the only reason for it to be visible, but to be honest, I don't care if my wife found out all about my past. I'm tired of keeping secrets.

I sit on the bed, open it, and notice that the photographs are outside the envelopes, but what really catches my attention is the yellowed paper of the letter.

Reading it now doesn't seem as important as it once did.

There is nothing that he could tell me that would change the fact that he encouraged and even insistedon hatred for my mother.

I unfold the letter and see that it is written in Norwegian. Ingvar was a language teacher, so he spoke to me in both Norwegian and Greek, and maybe that's the only real thing I knew about him besides his name.

“ Odin,

If you are reading this letter, your revenge has finally been completed.

I know how honorable you are, so I'm sure you haven't opened the box until now.

In it, you will find photographs of your mother, who happens to be my younger half-sister, as well as some of you and your family. Your sister, your father, and you, all together, as it should have been until the end, but mostly you will be able to remember my beloved Hedda.

She was my sister, but I considered her more of a daughter than anything else. There was a big age difference between us, as Hedda was the product of our mother's second marriage. We only met as adults a few times, but despite that, our emotional connection was instantaneous.

Shortly thereafter, she fell in love with your father. She was on vacation in Athens when she met him, and their love made Hedda give up everything.

She got pregnant with you early on in their relationship, but she didn't have any support to count on other than her partner.

Our mother's family was wealthy, which is why I was able to leave you all my fortune. I inherited it from my mother.

They disowned Hedda after she married a lowborn Greek, your father. They also never spoke her name again.

It doesn't really matter anymore, because they're all dead. I'm just explaining so you understand how I found you that day.

Now, the time has come to start confessing my sins.

First, I have to say that I was one of those who turned their back on your mother.

She was a beautiful, intelligent woman, fluent in several languages, and it broke my heart to see her end up in that backwater with some penniless guy.

Hedda hadn’t tried to get in touch with me since I told her, on our last phone call, that she was dead to me. A few months before the tragedy, however, she wrote to me in despair, telling me that she was being relentlessly harassed by a very powerful Greek man. He started out by courting her, but eventually he made her feel physically threatened. No matter how much she said no, the man didn't give up.

Your father, God rest him, was hot-blooded, and Hedda wouldn't tell him what was going on. Perhaps that was her biggest mistake.

She asked me to come and visit her not only to meet my nephew and niece, whom I had only seen in photographs until then, but also to try to talk to that Argyros guy and make him back off.

I postponed the trip twice due to some health issues but, to be honest, mainly because I thought she was overreacting.

I could never forgive myself for that.

Of course, that won't be the only sin for which God will need to have mercy on my soul. In fact, my own sister will also need to forgive me, because I lied to you, Odin.

Over all the years we've been together, I've lied to you and fueled your hatred for the damn man because of not having the courage to kill him myself.

By this point in my account, you may already know that your mother was faithful to your father to the end. To her love, the man she gave up everything for, but also to her children.

You were her world, and that's why I made you into a strong man.

To avenge her.

I turned you into a warrior, and now our souls will have peace because you put an end to the bastard's life.. .”

I drop the letter on the bed, because I can no longer see it.

Aside from the desperate moments when I was knocking on the basement door trying to save my family, I don't remember ever crying.

Now, I can't stop.

I get up and go to the window, thinking about everything I've accomplished in my life .

Gaining material possessions and much more money than I will ever be able to spend, using hatred as fuel, and with the sole purpose of ending the despicable man who, in the name of his own lust, destroyed my world.

I feel my body taken by lethargy, as if I’m entering a kind of trance.

I never allowed myself to rest, never considered relaxing, since my mind was always overloaded with plans, but now I just wish I could get away from it all with her.

When Elina came into my life, I knew I was heading towards something impossible to reconcile with my past, because I would never back down from my revenge, but my passion, and then the love she aroused in me, made me risk, desire, insist.

And now, I've lost everything.

My origins, my faith in the person whom I believed to be my savior, and perhaps my wife and child too.