Page 31

Odin

CHAPTER THIRTY

“How are the preparations for the ball going?”

After the horseback riding and a picnic in the mountains, we're in an outdoor hot tub .

Elina is leaning back against my chest and looking up at the sky.

I’ve never enjoyed life before. I know this sounds crazy, but I've lived, ever since I recovered from the fire, with only my plans for revenge as my focus.

Since then, I have never just enjoyed myself as anyone my age would. Not as a kid and not even during college did I allow myself any fun.

The ultimate pleasure for me was having sex, which could take up many hours and maybe even a whole day, but other than that, no leisure or fun trips.

I attended a few college parties, but always as an observer. I think that's my main function in the world: to observe the human soul.

“It's all going well. I had an idea. We could do a mini-auction during the party to raise more money for burn victims. What do you think? I know the plan was just to charge for dinner, but I think an auction would get people excited to contribute. We could get a lot more money for the cause.”

She turns to sit on my lap, and I regret agreeing that we change into bathing suits. I wanted to go in without any clothes on, but she said it was either wear the bathing suits or we'd have sex minutes later, a line of reasoning with which I couldn't disagree.

“We can auction a week in some tropical paradise, or even on our . . . on your island in Greece.”

“No.”

She stiffens in my arms, and I know it's because I've spoken too emphatically.

When she tries to run away, however, I hold her. “Don’t go.”

She still seems unsure about staying and I realize I need to offer more.

“It's not safe to go there now.”

“No? Why? I know the bombing was on the island, but Naim wouldn't do anything to guests.”

I don't answer, and she looks angry.

“Let me go,” she says, struggling to get up from my lap.

I’ve had confirmation that it really was Naim who sabotaged the car. Although the police haven't gotten any leads, I have, but it's not because of him that I don't consider the island safe.

I can't allow anyone to go there until I'm sure it was one of the islanders who killed Ciro at Leandros's behest.

“You say I'm your girlfriend, but you totally leave me out of your life. Do you know what that says? That I'm just the woman you have sex with, no matter what you call the two of us.”

“What you're saying doesn't make any sense. How many times do I need to repeat that you're my girlfriend?”

“I disagree. Lovers share secrets. Zoe told me that, and at the time I didn't think it was important, but now I see she was right. If you don't tell me anything about your world, how can I be part of it?”

I sigh, annoyed, unsure how to act. How do I explain that a good number of my secrets have to do with her father?

Despite being on my lap, she doesn't touch me anymore, and I don't want that distance between us.

“What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you can tell me.”

I calmly analyze what is safe to say. “Ask a few questions, but know that it’ll be an exchange. You’ll also have to reveal some of your secrets.”

She bites her lip, and I don't think she was expecting my counteroffer, but she finally nods in agreement. “Okay.”

“Ask.”

“Where are your parents?”

I close my eyes for a moment. I thought she was going to ask about my hatred for Leandros.

I never talk about my parents to anyone, and I think she realizes I've closed myself off, because she tries to get up again.

I lock my hands around her waist. “Dead,” I say expressionlessly but feeling like a cold knife is swirling inside my chest.

I don't like to mention their deaths because it makes me remember everything all over again. Those memories poison me in such a way that they leave me intoxicated with hate for days.

Elina doesn't look surprised, which makes me immediately suspicious, but as if she can read my thoughts, she says, “Zoe told me you're an orphan, but even before that I had guessed. Why else would you live with Aristeu unless your parents were no longer alive? Our island was not a fun place to be.”

What she has no idea about is that going to live with Aristeu had everything to do with my plans and nothing to do with the fact that I'm an orphan.

“And what else do you know?”

“Nothing more. That's why I asked. Do you miss them?”

I leave my little sister, Skadi, out of the revelations. “My father, yes.”

“Not your mother?”

I feel the nerves jumping inside my body. “No.”

“Why?”

“Because she was a traitor,” I reply on impulse.

“I don't understand what that means, but you don't have to tell me if you're not ready.”

That surprises me. I thought she would keep pushing, but as usual, I can't predict her moves .

Finally, I can breathe again, but it lasts less than a minute because her next question puts me on alert again.

“How did they die?”

I look into her eyes. “In a fire.”

Her mouth opens in a silent O, but then she wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder. "Is that why you help burn victims?"

“One of the reasons, yes.”

“And what’s the other reason?”

“I was there when it happened.”

She looks at me again. "Were the burns what made the skin on your back thinner?"

Elina has never asked me about it before, but sometimes when we're in bed, she asks me to lie on my stomach and straddles me, caressing and kissing the area. At first I was tense, but little by little I got used to it. Now I miss it when she doesn't touch me there.

“Yeah.”

She gives me a soft kiss. “I'm sorry about your parents, but I'm glad you survived.”

I'm too uncomfortable after having opened up, and I need to take back some control. “Your turn.”

“What?”

"Why did you say you lived a lie?"

I know she wants to run away, but I won't give up knowing about her past either.

“You’re the one who wanted us to share secrets. You can't take it back now.”

“It's all right.”Even though she’s agreed, she leaves my lap and goes to the other side of the tub. “Life in my house wasn’t what people thought it was.”

“What people?”

“Everyone. High society. Maybe some employees knew the truth but were too afraid to report it.”

“ Report ?”

“He beat us. All of us, but especially my mother.”

I begin to move towards her, but with a gesture she stops me. “No, please. You asked me to tell you and I will, but I don't want you to touch me while I do. I don’t want to contaminate what we have with those memories.”

It is with great effort that I lean back. “Ok. Go on.”