Page 7 of A New Life in Amsterdam

I once read that self-control wanes in the evening. This is why, if you’re on a diet, you often break it by the end of the day as you are more impulsive. I have found this to be the same with spending. I can have the best intentions all day and then in the evening buy something utterly ridiculous.

As I wake up the next morning the first question I ask myself is did I really shell out a huge deposit on a houseboat without seeing it last night.

When I remember that I did indeed pay that deposit, my nerves start to get the better of me.

It is a huge commitment, but what was I supposed to do when I had the pressure of knowing that if the deposit wasn’t received by the morning, someone else was going to snap it up?

I try to calm down by reminding myself that the fear of missing out on a spot in the heart of Amsterdam was way stronger than the idea that I could make a mistake.

After all, life would be boring if we were afraid to take risks.

This is one risk I have to take. Besides, if it is as great a mooring as I am told it is, then surely I can always sell it on if it doesn’t work out for me. I might even make a large profit.

By the time I get out of bed, an email has already arrived from Gerrit with some paperwork I need to look through.

As I read it, I can clearly see that I need a lawyer.

It’s in Dutch and my Google Translate can’t keep up with all the jargon.

I decide that, even if the structural report is all okay, I will find a lawyer to check over the paperwork before parting with the rest of the money.

I may have been a little impulsive with the deposit, but I am not that reckless.

I sit back and look at the computer screen in front of me.

Buying this houseboat before it went on the open market makes me feel as though I belong to some exclusive club.

I can already see how my emotions were swayed by the thought of getting a good deal before anyone else.

This is exactly what I need to stop doing, although I persuade myself that this isn’t like my normal purchases.

This is a new life I’m buying. It’s not a new kettle, or a handbag to be tossed aside, but a life.

This is the new start Hannah wanted me to have.

Excitedly, I decide to call to tell her that I have taken her advice. I want Hannah to be the first to know.

‘Mam, do you know what time it is here? It’s the middle of the night,’ she answers sleepily.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I did think it might be late, but I was too excited to wait.’

‘What is it? Everything okay?’

‘Yes, yes! I took your advice. I’m getting a new start.’

‘You’re on Tinder?’

‘No, a completely new start! I’m going to sell up and move.’

‘Really? You haven’t mentioned anything about moving before. Please tell me you’ve not been looking at those retirement flats they just built, have you? You’re not that old yet.’

‘No, don’t be silly. Far from it. I’m off on an adventure to another part of the world.’

‘What? Are you moving to an island in Greece? Like, doing a Shirley Valentine?’

‘Good gosh, no. I’m off to Amsterdam. I’ve just put the deposit down on a houseboat there.’

‘Amsterdam? Seriously? Woah. Wait a minute. This is a joke, right?’

I can imagine Hannah sitting up sharply now I have her attention.

‘Nope. It’s not a joke. I’ve just put a deposit down on a houseboat on a beautiful part of the canal. It has so much to offer and…’

‘Stop right there. Mam, you can’t be serious.

Amsterdam? You can’t live in a city on your own.

I don’t want to be horrible but you’re not the most streetwise person I know.

I mean, you’ve lived in Wales all your life.

It’s not like you’re from a big city. You’ve never even lived anywhere apart from Abergavenny. ’

‘Well, neither had you until you left for Melbourne. What difference does it make for me?’

‘It’s different. I’m here with Dad and all my cousins. Who do you know in Amsterdam?’

‘Nobody, really. The agent who’s selling the place is very nice though.’

‘Mam, please be careful. You don’t know who this guy is and besides, won’t it be cold on a houseboat? You know how you can be a bit of a sun-worshipper.’

‘Yes, but that only ages your skin. I finally understand that, in my fifties. Imagine, Amsterdam! It’s going to be wonderful.

I’m going to snuggle up by the fire on my houseboat and do my felting.

I’ll get through all the books I bought and never had time to read.

This is how to spend retirement. It’s going to be sheer bliss. ’

‘Bliss? You might think it sounds lovely on paper, but you’ll be lonely there all on your own. You’ve got friends at home. You don’t know anyone there.’

‘It won’t be lonely when I have all my hobbies. Anyhow, I found a houseboat in a lovely area that is apparently very friendly. From what I’ve read on the internet, life on a houseboat is less lonely than being here. They say it’s like one big community.’

‘Wow. It sounds like you’ve made your mind up and nothing I can say is going to change it. It’s like you’re brainwashed! Is it definitely legit?’

‘I’m not brainwashed. I know what I’m doing. I’ve made sure to get a survey and I’ve checked out all the information. It all adds up. I have to say I’m very disappointed you have so little faith in me.’

‘I do have faith in you. I know you’re not stupid, but you know what some of these things are like on the internet.

Sometimes they’re too good to be true and there might be some kind of catch.

Look, if you’re sure, I can’t exactly stop you.

It’s not what I expected you to announce, but if you’re sure this is a good idea… ’

‘Yup. I haven’t felt more excited about something since…’ I try to think back to when I was this excited, but nothing springs to mind.

‘Then I guess I’m kind of happy for you. But please make sure you can lock the doors properly and stay safe.’

‘I promise I will.’ I smile as I think how Hannah sounds like she’s the parent here.

Although her words do sit a little uncomfortably with me.

What if I am being irresponsible by spontaneously buying a houseboat in the middle of Amsterdam?

As I think about it like that, I realise I am being incredibly irresponsible!

I remind myself that it’s too late to get all the deposit back but it’s not too late to back out completely.

Even if the survey is fine, there is still time if I have buyer’s remorse at the last minute.

But, by the next day, my dream is back on track.

I have zoomed in to and inspected every photo of the houseboat and watched the video repeatedly with my spectacles on and I don’t think it was a crack I spotted.

The houseboat needs painting, yes, but the sun that shines through the wheelhouse makes up for any shabbiness.

I can see past all of that and, with a little bit of imagination, can picture myself in the evening with a steaming hot chocolate, living my best life.

With that thought in mind, any buyer’s remorse I had is soon forgotten.

I print out a photo of the houseboat and pin it on the fridge with my special magnet.

I think of lovely Nicky once again. She would be so excited for me right now.

That makes me think of Debbie – she is not going to believe what I have done, and I can’t wait to tell her next.

I rush around to her home next door to break the news. Nigel answers the door in his slippers. He looks ready for bed.

‘You alright? You don’t usually pop round in the evening. Aren’t you watching one of those boring soaps? Or is it all this Strictly stuff nowadays?’ he says.

‘Oh, I don’t know. I’m not one for much TV.’ Now that I think about it, I probably won’t even bother with one on the houseboat.

‘Oh, of course. You do that thing where you stuff animals.’ He makes it sound like I’m a taxidermist!

‘Felting,’ I correct him.

‘Yeah, that. You’ll be looking for Debs then, I expect? Come on in.’

I wipe my feet on the doormat that always make me smile.

I read the familiar words as I step off it.

Please Hide Packages from Husband. If I still had a husband, I’d have definitely got one of those for the house.

I wonder if I’ll need a doormat on a houseboat?

There are so many things I don’t know yet.

‘This is a nice surprise. I wasn’t expecting you,’ says Debbie.

‘I hope it’s not inconvenient.’

‘No, not at all. I’ve just put the kettle on. How about one of my pomegranate tea bags infused with hibiscus shells?’

‘Sounds very fancy. Go on then.’

Debbie loves to be adventurous with her tea bags. I am more of a PG Tips fan myself.

‘So, what’s happening then? And why have you got the biggest smile on your face? I’ve not seen that look in a long time. Don’t tell me you’ve gone on one of those dating sites and met someone lovely after all? It’d be quick work if you have changed your mind.’

‘No! You’re as bad as Hannah. A man is never going to make me smile again, believe me. I’ve had my lovely family – those days are over. I’m content being single because it also means I can do whatever I please, which is something I just did.’

‘Huh, what’re you on about?’

‘I’ve just bought a houseboat!’

‘A houseboat?’

‘Yup, like a barge.’

‘Really? Wow. Well, that’s just fabulous. I’ve always thought those boats going up and down the canal in Brecon looked gorgeous. What a great idea. Will you spend weekends on it? It’s not far for me to come up and visit. We could go to the pub up there that does those lovely Sunday lunches.’

‘Oh, it’s not a barge in Brecon that I’m buying.’

‘A barge. You’re going to buy a barge?’ interrupts Nigel.

‘Yeah, I’m so excited.’

‘Oh, I’d think twice if I were you. Is it too late to back out? I used to work with a guy who lived on a houseboat. He always smelt of damp.’

‘Don’t listen to him. You won’t smell of damp,’ says Debbie.