Page 24 of A New Life in Amsterdam

‘You’re right.’ Maybe I shouldn’t get too involved with Abe. We’re good friends who have a bit of a thing going and that is where it needs to end. It would be incredibly awkward if anything went wrong between us with him living next door.

Luckily, we have just stopped talking about Abe as he places our hot chocolates and waffles down in front of us.

‘Oh, a man who makes the best hot chocolate and waffles. Perhaps your independence is overrated,’ says Debbie, laughing.

‘What’s that about independence?’ says Abe.

‘Oh, nothing. We were just talking about something. Thanks for these, Abe,’ I say.

‘He does seem to tick all the boxes,’ says Debbie, once Abe is out of earshot.

By the time she has finished her stroopwafel she thinks even more highly of Abe.

‘On second thoughts, I think I’d marry someone this good. That was divine,’ teases Debbie.

‘The one thing I’ll never do is marry again. No matter how fabulous they are. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t think you have to marry someone to be committed.’

‘Look at you. You really have changed. Nobody is ever going to get you to settle down again, are they? Not even gorgeous Abe. You’re free as a bird.

Oh, no, talking of freedom, or lack of it, Nigel’s texting.

“When you coming back?” he says. When I’m bloody ready, Nigel.

When I’m bloody ready. On second thoughts, I was right the first time.

Never give in to a man. It’s a slippery slope.

They start by wooing you with hot chocolate and end up driving you up the wall. ’

‘You two really aren’t getting on, are you?’

‘No, not at all. Maybe we’ve been together for so long we’ve forgotten what we liked about each other in the first place.

It’ll be forty years next January. Forty years!

I suppose it’s to be expected that we drive each other insane at times.

I was sixteen when I met him. He used to be fun then.

Spontaneous and bonkers. He’d make me laugh.

Now all he does is irritate me. You know, I nearly bought a book the other day.

It was called Is It a Divorce You Need or a HRT Patch? Right now, I think I need both.’

We burst out laughing and are so loud that Abe looks over from the counter and smiles at us.

We are giggling as we bid Abe goodbye and leave the coffee shop, walking arm in arm to our first tourist spot – the Rijksmuseum.

‘Oh, it’s good to have someone to share the sights with. I’m so glad you’re here.’

‘Me too. It’s not the same without my bestie next door. But now I can have fabulous holidays visiting you. It’s not all bad.’

‘That is true.’

At the Rijksmuseum we immediately head to the second floor so we can see the Great Hall.

The headsets that we picked up feed us with information about the museum, telling us how the stained-glass windows, which depict the most important of Dutch artists, are dedicated to the art of sculpture and other mediums.

‘Can you imagine Nigel coming here? He’d want one of these stained-glass windows next to the front door if he had his way. That’d get the neighbours talking.’

Poor Debbie, she can’t get Nigel out of her mind. If I didn’t know better, I would think she is starting to miss him. Every other word seems to be about him.

Next, we head to The Gallery of Honour to see the Rembrandt and Johannes Vermeer paintings.

Debbie is excited about seeing a Rembrandt so close for the first time.

We are both thrilled to find the famous Night Watch painting.

We try and count the number of characters in the painting but there are so many.

The recorded guide tells us that there are thirty-four, which we can’t see clearly as the painting is under renovation.

Although we don’t mind as it feels as if we are part of an important historic event as we witness restorers working on the piece of art.

‘Shall we head to the still life next?’ says Debbie.

‘Oh yes, I’m looking forward to this bit.’

The still life paintings are incredible. If we hadn’t had such a satisfying breakfast, they would make me hungry with the depictions of cheese, oysters and leftover dishes.

Time escapes us as we wander around and then realise our slot is almost up.

‘Time to let someone else enjoy it,’ I say.

‘Yeah. Thank you for bringing me here. I love museums but I never get a chance because Nigel hates them. I’m having the best time.’

‘Good, I’m so happy you are.’

‘Oh, talk of the devil and he’s sure to appear. It’s Nigel. I’ve told him I’m at the museum with you. He’s asked if it’s the sex museum.’

Debbie rolls her eyes and even though she is still furious with him, she can’t help but laugh.

‘Ha, well, that might be a museum you could entice him to. Maybe you should bring him out with you next time.’

‘No, thanks. I’m relishing my bestie time and besides, I wouldn’t want him getting ideas. God forbid, he might want… sex!’

Once again, we giggle through the streets before we decide to stop for a glass of wine at a canal-side cafe. One of the many things I love about this city is that there are so many places to choose from.

Over our wine we talk about how Hannah is settling in in Australia and if I hear anything much of Paul.

‘You know, I don’t really. We’re leading such different lives now with him back home in Oz and me here, there’s not much to say.

At least things aren’t awkward between us.

I’d hate to be one of those couples who would have to sit miles apart at their daughter’s wedding one day.

No matter what has happened, we had a beautiful daughter together.

We just drifted apart as we got older. Nothing is going to change the good times we had. ’

‘Sounds like a sensible outlook. Life’s too short to bear grudges, except when it comes to me and Nigel, of course. But seriously, it’s not nice when the kids get caught in the middle of two adults separating. I know she’s grown up, but you’ve done Hannah proud the way you both behaved.’

‘That means a lot, thank you. So, yeah, it’s fine. We’re all friends, but there just isn’t much to say to each other. That part of our lives is over. I know if he was concerned about Hannah, he’d let me know, and she seems happy over there. I have to leave them to it, really. I miss Hannah though.’

‘I bet you do. Maybe she can come over and visit you here?’

‘One day, perhaps. For now, she’s too busy settling into Melbourne life, living the dream. I’m glad she’s found her feet. She always felt like an outsider. By the way, Hannah told me Paul’s met someone. It was inevitable, I guess.’

‘Really? I wonder what she’s like?’

‘Well, Hannah seems to get on well with her; I guess that’s the main thing.’

‘So, you’re okay with that?’

‘Yeah. I suppose I never expected him to stay single for the rest of his life.’

‘I would. If Nigel and I got divorced I’d want him single forever. Ha! But I wouldn’t bother again, I’m pretty sure of it.’

‘Yeah, I absolutely get the bit about not bothering again. It’s different when you’re young and want children, marriage, the whole nine yards.

I feel as though I’ve had my family. I’m too long in the tooth for nonsense from anyone now.

Besides, I don’t want the pain and having to find my feet after a break-up ever again, even though I know it was probably for the best for Paul and I. ’

‘Totally. That’s why it’s much better to stay single. You’re so lucky,’ says Debbie.

I think of Abe and how tempting he is. Am I lucky? I guess I am. I don’t even know that I could live with someone again now that I’ve become so used to my own space.

‘Anyway, we’d better drink up. We’re not far from the Anne Frank House.’

I lead Debbie through the narrow streets and past the beautiful buildings of the Jordaan District, where we pass antiques shops and art galleries.

When we finally reach the house, I get that déjà vu moment as we stand outside the black doors.

This is where Nicky and I came on our weekend trip.

I will always remember coming here the first time round.

How could you ever forget this place? It will always be emotional, eerie and utterly devastating.

‘Are you sure you want to go in? It’s quite upsetting,’ I warn Debbie.

‘Yeah. I want to pay my respects. Such a terribly sad story. She was just fifteen or so when she was killed, wasn’t she? Why do people have to go to war?’

‘I don’t know. As a complete pacifist, I absolutely can’t bear it.’

‘So sad. It makes you think, doesn’t it? Here I am, moaning about Nigel. He’s moaning about wanting to spend money and it puts everything into perspective. I think I’m going to give him a ring once we’re out of here.’

By the time we have finished our tour of the museum we are both in tears. What awful things this home has witnessed.

‘Oh, Sandy. I’m going to give Nigel a ring now. I need to speak to him.’

‘Yeah, of course. I’ll leave you to sort things out. I’ll just pop into a shop around the corner.’

‘I won’t be long. Just give me two minutes,’ says Debbie.

I walk around the corner to a vintage store that I’d heard about.

However, as I look at all the beautiful old clothes, it feels so superficial after where we have just been.

I am not sure there is much that can lift my mood right now.

No beautiful silk scarf is going to make what we have just seen any less horrific.