Page 28 of A New Life in Amsterdam

From then on, the evening continues with the guests chatting politely and talking about life on their houseboats to Debbie.

I think she has heard a whole new language this evening between all the talk of bilges, clogged sump pumps and the way they use the Dutch term woonboot for houseboats here.

But I think they might be putting her off the idea of wanting to live on one, as they share some of the dramas they have experienced on board.

I must admit, since I am still a complete novice myself, some of the stories also take me by surprise, especially the one about the previous Dutch Schooner having sunk and the neighbourhood trying to save all the stuff on board.

I had tried not to believe that could happen, and it makes me glad that I was ruthless with my clear-out and there is no longer anything of great value, or anything particularly sentimental, in here.

I have insurance, but still, it would be devastating to lose everything in the canal like that.

Apparently, the incident on Dutch Schooner happened all because of a water hose that leaked into the boat caused by frozen pipes.

As the temperature gets lower, I will keep that in mind.

By the end of the evening, I forget my concerns about sinking houseboats and frozen pipes, as we are all merry and dancing.

The subdued Nat King Cole music has been swapped for a dance CD that one of the new neighbours, who I now know is called Koenraad, has dashed home to get.

My little houseboat has been transformed from a cosy home into a social hub full of lovely new people. The evening couldn’t be any better.

Abe finds me among the neighbours and asks me to dance with him to David Guetta.

We laugh and smile as we come closer together and I feel that electricity between us again.

Eventually, we sit down on the sofa, where I ask about Ted and anything else I can think of to make sure he doesn’t bring up the fact that I was caught gawping at him.

He still hasn’t mentioned it and I pray he doesn’t.

When I tell him about all the things that Debbie and I have done over the past few days, I make sure to omit the bit about the canal cruise even though he seems okay with me, and I begin to wonder if he really did see me.

Let’s hope he has bad eyesight and needs a pair of varifocals.

‘I was thinking. Would you like to come to the market on Sunday with us?’ he asks.

‘I’d love to, but I have some catching up on the felting to do. I’ve an order back in the UK and I’m way behind after taking a few days off with Debbie. I wish I could come, but…’

‘No, it’s fine. I understand. We all have our jobs. Maybe next time.’

I hope he doesn’t think I’m making an excuse.

‘I so wish I could go, but definitely next time. It’s just been so busy with Debbie over.’

‘I understand, it’s okay.’

Abe moves closer to me on the sofa as we chat but, with a houseboat full of people, I hesitate to get any nearer.

I pull myself back and once again wonder to myself what I am trying to prove.

Why am I fighting this so hard? I am aware that everyone here is enjoying themselves too much to even notice what I am doing with Abe.

I am the problem and nobody else. While I haven’t felt an attraction like this since I met Paul all those years back, I have way too many insecurities nowadays.

What if I fall in love, even though I don’t mean to?

I already have strong feelings for the man, and it’s early days!

I don’t want to put myself on the line like that and let my heart rule my head.

I am a woman in her fifties who is expected to know better.

As the evening closes in, the neighbours start leaving and Abe and Beatrix are the last to head home as the four of us chat late into the night.

It’s almost one a.m. by the time they eventually head home, and Debbie and I are left with flags that are starting to fall down and the leftovers of a successful party.

With everyone gone, the houseboat looks like a dumping ground of used plates and cups.

Looking at the mess, it feels as though we had hundreds in here, not less than thirty.

Debbie looks at it all and gives out a big yawn.

‘I’ll sort it out in the morning. You head to bed,’ I say.

‘No way. I’m not leaving you to sort this out. And besides, we need to dissect the evening. It was a great success, wasn’t it?’

‘It was. What a great bunch of people they are. Everyone loved your food, and those pumpkin lattes were the perfect touch.’

‘Oh, I loved it, and yes, your neighbours are gorgeous people, except for that one miserable woman.’

‘They are. Hmm, Camilla, I reckon she’s got a bit of a thing for Abe and doesn’t like me being so friendly with him.’

‘You could be right. Anyone can see how well you two get on. I noticed you on the sofa there. Are you sure there isn’t something you want to talk about?’

‘Oh, goodness. No. Honestly. He’s lovely, gorgeous and so nice. I admit, I do have a bit of a stupid crush on him, but my life here is about me. I’m not sure I want to get involved with anyone.’

‘Well, I understand that. It’s obvious there’s something between you, but I also get why you’d want to be careful. I’d be the same. You’ve got everything you need here. Do you really need a man to share it with?’

I don’t answer Debbie because I am not sure I know the answer. I don’t know what I want. I never intended to meet anyone; it simply wasn’t on my list of priorities. But with Abe living so close by, my feelings for him grow each day. I have never been so confused about anything.