Page 40 of A Lord in Want of a Wife (Daring Debutantes #2)

L ucy listened intently outside Cedric’s bedroom door.

His father had left the house ten minutes ago with nothing beyond a polite nod in the hallway to her as he passed.

She had waited until the front door closed behind him, then headed straight for Cedric.

But what was she going to say to him? That she had never been more thrilled than when he had drenched his own father in her defense?

She’d been terrified of the possible violence, but the knowledge that he would fight for her still rocked her to the core. All her anger, all her frustration with him melted away at that moment.

He defended her. He fought his own father for her.

And now she loved him even more than ever.

Unable to keep herself away, she knocked quietly on his bedroom door. There was no answer, and the silence worried her. So she twisted the doorknob and peeked inside, half afraid of what she would find.

No dead body, thank Heaven, but what she found was akin to a death. Cedric sat in his chair completely immobile. For a man who was constantly moving—he was even a restless sleeper—this absolute stillness frightened her.

‘Cedric?’ she whispered. And when he didn’t seem to react, she quietly crossed the room to his side.

Still no reaction, but this close she could see that he breathed. And given that there were no obvious wounds, she decided her best choice was to sit beside him and wait. He would come back to himself eventually, and then they could talk.

‘I’ve changed.’ Cedric’s voice was low and, as far as she could tell, his gaze never lifted off the floor.

‘What?’

‘I see it so clearly. What he has been missing all his life. And what I want in mine.’ He looked up, his eyes bright with the sheen of tears. ‘I swear he’ll never hurt you. And if he says one word against you or your sister, then tell me. I will cut him off. I swear I will—’

‘Cedric,’ she said as she sank down before him. She pressed her hand to his cheek, searching for fever. ‘Slow down. How do you feel?’

He took her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss.

‘I feel…clear-headed, I suppose.’ He brought her hand down to his lap and she happily left their fingers entwined.

‘I see what my father has been missing all his life. I see why he turned to gambling and why it never fills him. Win or lose, he can’t stop playing. ’

‘What?’

‘Love, Lucy. He has no love. Not of work, nor of his own family.’ How it hurt to say it, but he knew the truth. ‘Have you ever seen gamblers deep in play? They aren’t happy, and yet they can’t stop themselves.’

She smiled at him. She had no idea if what he said about his father was correct or not.

But she saw the spark in Cedric’s eyes, and it pleased her so much that warmth filled her heart.

Finally, he was returning to the man she remembered.

The one who had hope and a ready smile no matter what happened.

But now it was even better because she didn’t read any desperation in him. Only determination.

Then his gaze intensified. ‘You shouldn’t be on the floor in front of me.’

‘I don’t mind,’ she said as she pressed a kiss to their joined hands. ‘I like it when you smile at me.’

‘Then I shall always wear a smile for you.’

He would do it too, she realised. Just because she liked his smile, he would put one on for her no matter what he truly felt. ‘I like honesty between us.’

His expression shifted, his gaze softened and she felt his fingers tighten around hers. ‘Have you truly forgiven me?’ he asked. ‘For all the other things. I was angry and desperate and—’

‘An idiot.’

‘Yes! A complete idiot.’

She chuckled. ‘I cannot hold a grudge against every person who makes idiotic mistakes.’

‘I don’t care about anyone else. I care about you.’

She smiled. ‘I have forgiven you.’

‘Then marry me, please.’

She jolted, shocked by his words. ‘What? But—’ She pressed her hand to his cheek.

He caught her hand then pressed a kiss into her hand. ‘I’m not sick. This isn’t a fever, and I can wait if you want. But I understand what I need now and it’s you.’

She shook her head. ‘You have always wanted me, Cedric. We have wanted each other.’ But he’d refused her so many times.

‘I didn’t think I was worthy of you. I didn’t think you could possibly want me. Not unless I had money to support you, money to take care of my responsibilities. Money for love.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I’ve been such an idiot.’

‘You have plenty of money now.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He looked at her, his eyes twinkling with merriment. ‘Don’t you see? It never mattered!’

He was trying to tell her something. She wanted to shake him until he said something she could understand. But he had to find the words his own way. And so she held silent and watched as he gently wrapped her hand in his.

‘Money for love. That’s what my father taught us. That money was the only way to love. When he was flush, he rained gifts upon us. We felt loved. And then he left, looking for more money. Somehow, I thought the two were the same.’

‘I’ve never cared how much money you had.’

‘I know,’ he said. ‘But I never believed that was true.’

‘But you do now?’

He caressed her face. ‘I believe that love is entirely separate from money. That I need love. And without it, I will be as pitiful as my father. I will chase coin until I am as lost and empty as he.’

Her heart was beating hard in her throat, and her hands felt weak where he clasped them between his. She saw the change in him so clearly. The revelation had turned him inside out, and she was at last able to touch the heart of him. The man who needed love.

But did he love her?

‘Cedric,’ she said, her voice a hoarse rasp. ‘I am so happy for you.’ That was true. It was glorious to see someone she loved so transformed.

‘But you don’t believe me,’ he said, his expression tender.

That wasn’t it, but he didn’t give her time to explain.

‘This has nothing to do with money. Your dowry or anything like this is entirely separate. Here, I’ll prove it to you.’ He looked up, over her shoulder at someone else behind her. ‘Cousin, you have control of her affairs, yes? After Lord Wenshire’s death, you are her guardian?’

Lucy twisted around to see her brother-in-law, Declan, in the doorway. He had clearly just arrived as he was standing there with his mouth ajar. Grace was beside him, her expression soft as she held his hand.

‘Good morning to you too, Cedric,’ Declan said with a slow drawl. ‘I am pleased to see that you are alive. I have been in contact with your sisters during your absence. I can give you details about—’

‘I read the letters. Thank you,’ Cedric interrupted. ‘Do you have guardianship over Lucy?’

‘Yes, but—’

‘Then here is the marriage contract I want. Set all her funds into an account that she manages.’

‘Are you feverish?’ Declan stepped further into the room. ‘No bank will allow that.’

‘They will allow it, Declan. You’re a duke. I’ll be an earl. If we tell them so, it will be.’

‘Cedric, this is not necessary,’ Lucy said, her voice low. And yet, even as she spoke, she wanted to hear the rest. She wanted to know what he would give up for her.

‘I don’t want her dowry. She will manage it better than I will anyway.’

She squeezed his hands. ‘I could not have gotten the investors you did. I could not have filled the cargo hold on my own.’

He looked back at her, and his mouth curved into a smile that heated her all the way to her toes. ‘I am good with the investors. That’s what I bring to the business then.’

That’s not what she wanted in her marriage.

‘Cedric—’ she began, but he was moving, straightening out of his chair.

She went with him. How could she not when he still gripped her hand?

And then, when she thought he would stand before her, he sank down.

‘Cedric!’ she cried, alarmed. But a moment later, she realised he’d gone down on one knee before her.

‘I love you, Lucy. From the very first, I have dreamed about you, wanted you, fought with you and adored you. No woman has ever consumed me as you do, and I never want it to end. You have made me a better man, and please God, will you stay and help me be worthy of you? It is all that I have wanted these last two years, and I swear I will make it someday. I’m already figuring things out—’

She pressed a shaking hand to his mouth. Finally, he had said the words. All this devotion, and all she cared about were his first words. He loved her. He loved her!

And she loved him.

‘I don’t care about the money,’ she said as she touched his cheek. ‘I can always make money. But that’s not what I want.’

‘Then what?’ he said. ‘Tell me, and I will get it for you.’

She smiled. ‘You, you idiot. I have always wanted you.’ Then she matched his pose, sinking down to the floor until she knelt before him. ‘I love you, Cedric. I have since I first heard you laugh in the marketplace. Such a strange Englishman, but I couldn’t look away. I still can’t.’

He stared at her, his eyes wide and his breath quick. ‘You love me? After everything, you love me.’

‘From the very beginning. Through all our fights and your absences. I have never stopped loving you. And yes, I will marry you.’

He touched her face then, cupping her cheeks in the tenderest hold. As if she were the most precious thing in the world. Then they kissed. Slowly at first. Sweetly and with reverence.

But she didn’t want to be revered. She wanted to be loved.

And so she deepened the kiss. She opened to him, and he responded with fervor.

Love and lust collided inside her, igniting an inferno.

He seemed no less affected, and if her sister and brother-in-law were not standing there, she would have given him her all.

But Declan stopped them, gripping Cedric’s shoulder on one side while Grace tugged at her sister on the other.

‘Enough, enough,’ Declan declared. ‘Do not debauch my sister-in-law in front of me!’

Cedric looked up, his expression clear. ‘I meant what I said,’ he stressed. ‘She needs control of her dowry.’

‘I know,’ Declan said. ‘I would not approve of this match otherwise.’ Then before either of them could react, he held up his hand. ‘If it’s what you want, Lucy, I will not interfere.’ He glanced at his wife. ‘I have found such joy in my marriage, why would I deny my cousin his?’

Lucy didn’t answer. She was too busy being lifted into her sister’s arms. They hugged each other tight, both stunned how their lives had turned out. Two half-Chinese orphans had found love.

Then as soon as she was released, as soon as Declan finished pressing a kiss to her cheek, she was pulled back into Cedric’s arms. He held her joyously and a little possessively, which fitted her needs perfectly.

And when she looked up into his eyes, he said the words with her.

‘I love you.’