Page 39 of A Lord in Want of a Wife (Daring Debutantes #2)

‘Good God, the sickness truly has gotten hold of you. Cedric, listen to me. You’re my son and heir. I’ll take care of things. That’s what a father does for his son.’

Such beautiful words. They were tinged with warmth, too, and all the protective notes that were so absent during his childhood. He knew they were a lie, and yet he couldn’t help but respond to it.

‘Father,’ he said softly. ‘I kept the account. I know exactly—’

‘We need the money, son. And you deserve it. It wasn’t her working herself near death, was it? All she did was have her servants carry you here and feed you a little broth. You deserve that coin, son. Every penny of it.’

‘What I deserve from this venture is mine alone. I will handle my affairs.’

‘Course it is!’ His father pushed to his feet.

‘You’ve been too ill to understand. I’ll have a talk with Declan.

We’ll see it done proper. It’s his ship.

He won’t see all that profit go to a foreign girl.

Not over his own cousin and uncle. Mark my words.

You deserve that money. And I’ll see that it goes where it’s needed. ’

‘And where’s that, Father?’

‘To the estate, of course. It’s where all our money goes, isn’t it? The canal needs repair and something happened to the roof. We lost a bunch of pigs to the heat. Damned farmers. Can’t keep a bunch of hogs alive. Say they can’t make the rent. Claiming all sorts of folderol.’

Something happened to the roof? Cedric gaped at his father. This was the man who had loomed so large when Cedric was boy. But now all he saw was a weak and slightly ridiculous old man.

‘When was the last time you were home?’

‘What? Why does that matter?’

‘I saw the roof restored before I left.’

‘What? Oh. Well, good then. But I told you about the pigs, right? So you see, it’s a good thing that you’ve come home.

That shipload of goods is just in time. I’m told we can get an advance on the sale right away.

We just need Declan to write the cheque.

I thought I’d do it tomorrow after he’s been home for a night.

Catch him in a good mood after a night with his wife, if you know what I mean. ’

Hard to miss his father’s crude wink. ‘Yes, I know.’

‘That’s settled then. And don’t you worry. I’ll handle all the details.’ He grinned as he clapped his hands. ‘Good to see you getting better, son. I’d thought you’d died, you know. When your ship didn’t come back. But here you are, getting stronger every day—’

‘What’s your favourite gambling hell these days, Father?’

His father’s sallow skin flushed. ‘What?’

‘Where are you headed now?’

‘Oh, just to my club. Got a few mates who enjoy faro.’

‘And then where? Which gaming hell?’

‘I don’t go to them anymore,’ he said. ‘Too many card sharks. Skin a man alive if they could.’

Cedric’s eyes widened. Had his father finally done it? Had he given up gambling? ‘You don’t play anymore?’

‘Not in that pit of vipers. No, no, there’s a few friends of mine. We get together of an evening and talk.’

Of course they did. ‘Cards or dice?’

‘Well, son, you know a gentleman plays whatever comes his way. A little bit of everything, just to keep the mind sharp.’

His mind might be sharp, but his body and clothing weren’t. ‘How far in the duns are you?’

‘Not at all! Not at all! Son, I promised you, didn’t I? Before you left. I said I’d change and I have.’

Cedric wished he could believe it. ‘Then why do you need the profit from the ship?’

‘For the estate, boy. Didn’t you hear me?’

‘What about your bills? Your tab at the club and the coin to the tailor?’

His father laughed a little too loud as he answered. ‘Well, I’ll admit to being a bit behind at the club. But there’ll be plenty from your boat. Declan will see to—’

‘Declan won’t be paying you anything, Father. I told you. This venture is mine. I will dispense the profit to those who pledged a stake. Which you did not.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I see how frail you are. Nearly died. Don’t tell me you’ve been gone for nearly two years and have nothing to show for it. You’re not that stupid.’

Well, he’d thought he was exactly that stupid. How odd to realise he wasn’t. Either way, his father had nothing to do with it. ‘Declan won’t give you a penny, Father.’

‘Don’t be stupid!’ His father invested such disgust in that last word. As if that was a bigger crime than lying, stealing or gambling away their entire family’s wealth.

‘Remember what you promised me before I left? Remember how you said you’d stop gambling, stop bleeding the estate dry. You promised me you’d do it.’

His father lifted his chin. ‘By what right do you question me? I’m the Earl of Hillburn and your father!’

Cedric stared at his father, seeing the man more clearly than before.

Not the wastrel or the man with pride in a title that he had done nothing to maintain.

He’d seen all that before. But what he saw now was a soul who was untethered to anything but gambling.

There was no person he loved, no work to keep him focused.

Cedric hadn’t understood that before. He hadn’t known then how work built up a man and how love could keep him going when all else failed. His father had none of that, and that was a pitiful life.

Good God, the man probably didn’t know he had a grandson. That’s how disconnected he was from anyone who might care for him.

‘How have you changed, Father?’ he asked softly. ‘What is different in you from two years ago? Five years? Ten?’ Just how long had the man been lost?

‘What the devil are you talking about?’

‘Growth. Maturity.’ He smiled to himself. ‘Love, Father. Look at what a life devoid of love has brought you.’

‘You’re ill, son. Best lie back down and leave it all to me.’

Never.

‘I have it under control, Father. It was my investment, my labour and I am of age. I will speak to Declan.’

The Earl puffed out his cheeks. ‘Don’t let him run roughshod—’

‘I have whipped men. I have beaten them into submission, and I have faced the coldest, cruelest storm it has ever been my misfortune to endure. Never fear, Father. I will speak with Declan.’ Then his tone softened.

As frustrated as he was with the man, the Earl was still his father.

He still needed to make an offer even knowing the man might never take it.

‘Let’s both of us go home soon. We can see…

’ He almost said your grandson , but that wasn’t his secret to tell.

Nor could he mention the books that Lilianna had published or the children that Rose taught.

‘Um, let’s see what Cora has done with the place.

She’s a remarkable woman, you know. They all are. There’s good food there and—’

‘Pigs, Cedric. Just pigs and crops. Nothing else.’

‘Your family is there, Father. The people who love you.’

His father shook his head. ‘Ah, but I haven’t any gifts to bring them, you know. They like that kind of thing, and I can’t show up without it. You know that.’

Cedric looked at his father, feeling a thought struggling to be born. Something important, but he couldn’t quite grab hold of it yet. ‘They—we—don’t care about that. We don’t expect it. We want to see you.’

His father rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t be childish. Of course they expect it. I can’t go home until I’ve got the presents in hand.’

Cedric looked at his father, seeing the man’s absolute certainty that he couldn’t visit without some sort of show of wealth. That money was all his children cared about. Which, of course, was ridiculous. They wanted a father, not his coin.

‘They don’t want your money. They want you.’

‘See how little you know your sisters. All they talk about is the repairs that are needed, the roof that has collapsed. That’s all they think about.’

Maybe he’d thought the same, too. But that’s not what he’d seen when he’d gone home. He’d seen a happy family, one where he was included.

‘Maybe they want to show you what they’ve accomplished,’ he offered.

‘All the more reason I can’t go empty-handed.’

They stared at each other in silence, each seeming to take a new measure of the other. Cedric felt himself strengthen as he realised how wrong his father was about his family. But the man wouldn’t see it, and Cedric now understood why.

His father tied money and love together. He could not have the latter without the former. And so had Cedric. But they were both wrong! Love and money had nothing to do with one another. They might both be necessary, but they were not intertwined. Indeed, they should never be intertwined!

‘They want love, Father. Not money.’

‘Don’t be a child, boy,’ the Earl said, standing up. ‘I’ll come back to visit you in a couple days. See what you’ve worked out.’

‘As you wish,’ he said, his mind still on this new revelation. And from it came a new feeling. A wonderful feeling.

Hope.

He could have what he needed. He could have love; he could give love and it had absolutely nothing to do with how much money he had. Certainly, he still wanted to support Lucy. He wanted to help his sisters and build for the next generation. But that had nothing to do with what he felt for Lucy.

And it should have nothing to do with how he expressed his love to her or how they shared what was between them.

Meanwhile, his father was headed for the door, but there was one more thing he had to make clear to the man. One more thing before he could lay his heart out before the woman he adored.

‘Father,’ he called, then waited until the Earl looked at him.

‘If I ever hear you saying one rude comment, one hateful word about Miss Richards or her sister, you will not see a penny from me.’ Since his father equated love and money, then he would have to meet the man where he was.

Whether or not there was coin to be shared, the rules needed to be absolutely clear.

His father’s face crinkled in confusion. ‘The foreign girls?’

‘The Duchess of Byrning and her sister, Miss Lucy Richards. One word, Father, and I will whip you before I give you a penny.’ Then he dismissed his father in the exact way the Earl had done to him for so many years. ‘I believe we understand each other.’

He saw emotions chase across his father’s face. There was a moment when the man thought to defy him. Several moments, in fact, but Cedric had learned how to stand strong against any defiance. And his father must have seen it.

The Earl left without another word. Which left Cedric alone to ponder the huge shift—the excellent shift—in his relationship with his father.