Page 85 of A Cock and Bull Story

“It’s the password we devised to ensure it was us,” Jack explains.

“It’s ridiculous,” I giggle-sniffle—that’s when you laugh and cry at the same time.

Sometimes, embarrassing snot bubbles pop out of your nose but, luckily, that doesn’t happen to me.

Yet.

“And Theo?” I prod.

I feel the guys tense under my touch and the air traps inside my lungs.

“He. . . didn’t make it,” Jude confesses.

Both Elise and Sian gasp, but it’s nothing compared to the ugly jarring sobs that escape me—I don’t even care about the massive snot bubbles forming from my nostrils.

“Theo’s gone?” I wail.

There’s no consoling me, and no one tries—we’re all trapped in our own ugly worlds of grief and despair.

I excuse myself to use the bathroom.

No amount of T.P. seems capable of dealing with the mess leaking from my nose. Dammit—where’s my purse when I need it most? A couple of tampons would have fixed this problem instantly.

I sit down on the toilet and try to calm myself.

My attempt fails when the water beneath me comes bubbling up and starts splashing onto my ass. I scream and jump off the pot.

Oh, God—it’s like those stories you read about on the internet where snakes come out of the toilets and eat people.

Except these snakes are really humans who want to fuck me for their own nefarious pleasure.

Jude barges into the tiny bathroom labeled W.C.. It can barely fit me, let alone the two of us. My skirt is at my ankles, and I’m sans undies since Dean Raper stole them—I assume.

“Wha—” Jude starts when he notices the crapper erupting like Mount Vesuvius. “Stand back!” he yells like the goblin from Gringotts opening Vault 713.

“I’m trying!” I shout—but there’s no where for me to go.

Too late, the toilet explodes.

Figuratively.

Itfigurativelyexplodes.

It’s more like a geyser shoots forth and a fountain of water spews upward and outward.

“Ewwwww,” I moan.

First vomit, now piss water?!

This isnotmy day!

Something pops out of the water and I scream, turning away from the snake mouth trying to eat me—except, when I turn, there’s no snake. Just Jude. . .

And he’s holding a fish—who turns into Theo.

“THEO!” I bellow in relief, hugging the naked wet man that Jude dropped when he shifted.

Everyone comes running to see.