Page 42 of A Cock and Bull Story

A higher society fuck can turn into an animal?

The more I learn about these people, the less I want their respect—or anything to do with them.

Jack, Arthur, and Theo come back carrying Spidey between them as if the beefcake freak weighs nothing. To be fair, all three guys are packing some muscles under their shirts.

It’s enough to perk up any dried up and terrorized vagina—and trust me—my jelly roll is horrified.

My muscle men toss the unconscious dude into a corner of the room, but I’m sure to keep a safe distance and a wary eye on him.

Jude finally returns, eyeing Eight-legs—correction, Seven-legs—with the same cagy expression as the others.

“I didn’t smell anything—or see anything—and I flew over the area to check,” he announces.

“Dude—where do you keep a plane around here that you can just fly” I snap.

Jude squints at me for a hard minute.

I squint right back in the same confusion when suddenly astonishment leaches onto his face. He blinks in an absolute shock.

“You do know that a cockchafer’s a type of bug that has wings and can fly, right?”

Now, I blink at him.

“That's. . . very odd information to give me at this time; I didnotknow that. But what the fuck does a cockchafer have to do with anything?”

Jude clears his throat.

“It's a type of beetle—and that's what I turn into.”

I take a giant ass step back.

And another.

Jude holds out his hands to show that he's absolutely no threat, but I'm ninety-nine percent sure this dude just told me thathe turns into animals like those other things I saw.

“I'm a cockchafer,” Jude repeats. “I shift into a beetle.”

Jack looks at me sharply.

“And I'm an ass—I shift into a donkey. Theo’s a slippery dick—a type of fish—and Arthur’s a horny toad.”

“And you’re a cat,” the Scottish man adds in his deep brogue.

I shake my head and start waving my hands in front of me in the common sign of negation.

“No, no, no, no, no!” I refute.

It dawns on me that these lunatics think that I'm some kind of animal shifter, too—apparently a kittycat.

Oh, my God.

How could our conversations have gone this far awry?

And why were they having Sex Anonymous meetings?

I have no idea what's going on, but it seems that Jude does. He's looking at me like I’m an interesting puzzle.

“We have a problem on our hands,” he announces to the other guys.