Page 2

Chapter 2

Andy

H asumi was gone.

The thought repeated in my head, along with flashes of those last seconds. How they had stepped in front of me. Needlessly, since the next second I was no longer in the path of the spell that had killed them.

It still didn’t seem real. I dimly remembered that feeling from when I was a little girl—that sense that everything had changed, but that I would wake up any time now and find out it was all a bad dream. Maybe Ambrose was mad at me, and this was his way of putting me in my place with a poorly-timed nightmare.

But I knew my boogeyman would never be this cruel.

I let my head rest against the back of the tub as I stared at the ceiling. It couldn’t be real. If it was real, that meant the gaping hole in my chest was real, and the anguish that wanted to rush in to fill it was warranted. And I wasn’t sure I could survive that. There’d be no coming back from that tidal wave of darkness and pain.

And… I wasn’t sure I had time for that. I might be pissed at her, and I definitely didn’t trust her after this… but in a way, I understood Bella’s cold demeanor back at the battle site. If I let this pain and loss consume me, I’d be no good to anyone ever again.

Even though I loved Hasumi, could still feel their graceful body in my arms, their lips against mine, still hear the alluring music of their voice in my mind and their touch on my skin as we made love so recently… Hasumi wasn’t the only person I loved, or the only person depending on me to fix the mess that was my life, so we could all live in peace. The others still needed me.

It didn’t make the pain go away. But it did help me finally find the willpower to heave myself out of the now-cold bath water and dry off my thoroughly pruned body. There were other people who were hurting. Other people who depended on me—whether I felt worthy of their trust in me or not. (Spoiler, the answer was “not.”)

I had to keep moving, even if I was wounded.

I pulled on the loose t-shirt and sweats that someone had left out for me. Probably Zhong. I had been pretty out of it when he deposited me in the bath, but it seemed like the sort of thing he would do. I thought of his quiet attention and his solid strength and let it anchor me as I took a deep breath and opened the door leading from my bathroom hideout to my bedroom.

Aahil.

My eyes found his immediately, knowing I must look every bit as haunted as he did just then. I could feel his pain like it was my own. His beautiful features had lost all hint of their usual haughtiness. He was broken again, and he had only just managed to put himself back together after last time. He had only managed that because of Hasumi.

My bottom lip trembled, and I blinked back the sudden burn of tears. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t face this mess without Hasumi’s understanding and guidance.

Aahil swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his long, graceful throat as if he was trying to swallow down something far too big. I understood. I was choking on the magnitude of the loss myself. He lifted his arm and held out a hand to me, and I forced myself to move.

Someone had dragged all of Aahil’s silly cushions, and pillows, and blankets into the center of my bedroom. The jinn sat cross-legged in the nest. He hadn’t put the oversized hoodie back on yet, so that was something. At least he didn’t feel the need to hide himself away. He was here, vulnerable and raw. I took his hand and let him pull me down into the sumptuous pile of cushions. His hand was overly hot in mine, and his grip so tight I felt my bones grind together. We didn’t speak as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down with him, so we were lying on our sides facing each other in the center of the nest of silks and velvet, our foreheads pressed together.

I tucked one hand under my head and looped the other arm around his narrow waist, taking a deep breath and letting it out. I breathed in his cinnamon and smoke scent and let the comfort of his fiery aura seep into my soul. We had spent a lot of time like this, just lying there, holding each other as he healed from his time with the O’Leary coven.

In some strange way, the thought gave me a little sliver of hope.

Aahil had come through his pain and trauma then. Slowly, but surely. And it hadn’t been just Hasumi who helped. I had been there with him every step of the way. Me, and the others, in our own way. I watched as Zhong approached, looming over us for a moment before he sank down to his knees, folding his massive wings and lying down behind Aahil.

I expected the jinn to protest when the gargoyle spooned him from behind, wrapping a massive arm around both of us and pulling us close. But Aahil simply closed his eyes and let out a weak huff of fake displeasure that wasn’t fooling anyone.

“It’s okay, River,” Zhong rumbled, his deep voice barely more than a whisper.

It was only then that I realized there was another aura close by. I rolled over, my back to Aahil’s chest, he, Zhong, and me making a weird line of spoons. A couple of feet away, on the floor beside Aahil’s nest, was a long, sleek black jaguar. The cat stretched out on his belly and lay his head on his front paws, letting out a pathetic little mewl of sound that was shocking coming from such a majestic beast.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, frowning. I checked the urge to reach out for him, not knowing if I was dealing with a wounded animal, or a sad shifter. Then the stupidity of my question caught up with me. “I mean, besides… you know.”

He hadn’t known Hasumi for as long as we had. Didn’t have the deep bond with them that me and the others had. But still, I shouldn’t assume he wasn’t feeling the loss.

The cat’s captivating eyes closed, and the beast shuddered.

Zhong sighed. “He thinks it’s his fault.”

I paused for a moment as that sank in, my mushy, exhausted, pain-filled brain finally catching up. Then I sat up suddenly, pushing my damp hair back out of my face.

“So why are you here, then?” I snapped, a wave of anger overwhelming me. “We’re all here, alive and well, while Hasumi and Junaid are dead, and yet here you are, slinking around in my bedroom like a wounded animal. Either explain, or get the fuck out!”

Zhong and Aahil sat up too, and Zhong reached out to grip my shoulder as the jaguar winced and pressed himself even flatter to the floor. “Andy. Master. It’s not his fault. He saved your life. And…” He sighed again, as if his broad shoulders finally had too much weight to bear. “I think he’s stuck.”