Page 54

“Look at me.” My shoulders slump as his jaw ticks back and forth, his fists clenching at his sides, but he doesn’t make eye contact. “Please,” I beg, my voice thick with emotion I’m not bothering with hiding.

He finally lifts his eyes from the spot across the room he’s been focused on, his beautiful blues connecting with mine. His face is drained of color, eyes that have been so full of life and happiness the last few days are now hollow and lost. He seriously jumped to the worst-case scenario and isn’t going to let me explain. How can I even push to explain when he’s already made up his mind about me?

Carter remains unresponsive, having disconnected himself from everything we shared over the weekend, everything that’s between us. He’s going to bury down everything he feels at the first sign of turmoil. Once we return to Washington, we’ve got a whole helluva lot more than this to face, and I stupidly thought that I was enough that we would face it together.

The silence that stretches between us is oppressive, almost suffocating, and I find myself at a loss for words.

“Okay,” I say solemnly, accepting defeat. Carter’s eyes flash with surprise, and then he nods his head a few times as I step out of the room. I’ve been fighting for love and acceptance my entire life. I can’t do it anymore.

CHAPTER 12

finn

The text comes wellinto the evening, and based on how I left things with Lexi, I knew it wouldn’t be long before he found out what happened in Maine. I know he’s the reason that she showed up there.

Dad: My Western office. 7am sharp.

On autopilot, I shower, shave, and put on a pair of khaki slacks with a navy button-up shirt. After styling my hair and putting on my glasses, I grab my things, leaving behind my laptop since I know I’ll be returning after this meeting, and make the thirty-minute drive into work.

My dad is already in his office when I arrive, the tension in the air thick with disappointment, his anger palpable even through the door. His secretary gives me a look that says I’m deserving of everything coming. Pretty sure she’s been fucking him the last few months, but I wouldn’t call her out on it. If she wants to bed Satan, that’s her prerogative. I knock twice on hisdoor before opening it, not waiting for him to invite me inside, as is the normal etiquette he expects.

To no one’s surprise, he’s sitting at his desk, a cigar in his mouth, even though it’s barely seven in the morning. His hairline is receding, the once-chocolate-brown, lush hair now thinner and dusted with grey. His beard is full, his cheekbones and jaw strong like mine. He’s still handsome, even in his fifties. I’m the spitting image of him, having only gotten my mom’s blue eyes. I can see my future in front of me, sitting at a desk, angry at the goddamn world because I’m chasing something that I’ll never get. His eyes rake over me like claws, making my skin crawl. He truly is disgusted by me, I’m that much of a disappointment in his eyes. Suddenly, nothing in the world is worth having to deal with him anymore. Not after he ruined the single best thing I’ve ever had. Even if Carter and I didn’t have the greatest start, I know it was real. It is real. The past few days changed everything for both of us.

“You want to explain to me why you’re such a fucking idiot? I spent all evening trying to come up with a reason why MY son was shacked up with Carter Hayes and why Lexi had to fly back to Washington in tears because you kicked her out on the streets! The fucking streets, Griffin! Thomas and I have been in business together for two decades! Her father is livid, and I have to make amends.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

“No, that’s not good enough. I want to know why the fuck that scum was in my goddamn house with my son!”

“Dad, I’m almost thirty years old, it’s none of your business what I was doing.” I don’t know where the sudden courage comes from to talk back to him, but I feel so depleted that fear has taken the back burner for a change.

“Are you fucking him? Jesus Christ, Griffin, I knew you werepathetic, but to stoop this low? You’re a fucking disgrace! You disgust me!”

“I’m in love with him.” My father’s face pales. The red of the anger slowly fades away and is replaced with an ashy grey. I didn’t mean to say the words, but they came tumbling out of my mouth. They aren’t wrong, though. I think I knew I loved him from the moment I saw him, and then I gradually fell in love with him more and more through every interaction.

“I don’t know what is worse, Griffin. The fact that it’s a man or that it’s a Hayes.”

“Why do you hate them so much?”

“Because he took everything from me!” he screams, his voice echoing off the walls of the office and piercing my ears.

“Who?”

My dad moves around his desk, and I brace for whatever is coming. He grabs a fistful of my shirt and jerks my body twice, my hands reaching up to clasp around his wrists.

“You’re going to get your fucking shit together or I’m done with you. So help me, I will cut you off and leave you with nothing but the clothes on your pathetic back. You’re going to apologize—no, grovel—to Lexi, and you’re never going to see that piece of shit ever again. Do you understand me, Griffin?”

His breath smells of stale cigar, and I try not to dry heave as he shouts the words in my face. When I don’t say anything, he shoves me harder than he ever has before. I’m so caught off guard that I stumble backward, grabbing at the wall to brace myself from falling right on my ass. My dad may be an emotionally abusive asshole, but he’s never hit me. This has been the closest. I’m not scared of him, but I am pissed. Anger courses through me at an alarming rate. I hate this man. My own father.

“Do you understand?” he screams again, his voice so loud I know the rest of the office can hear him.

“What aren’t you telling me? Help me understand!”

“It’s none ofyour fucking business, Griffin. I’m your father, and you should have loyalty to your family above all else. I have expected respect and obedience from you, and you seem to fail at every turn. Fucking fix this or I’ll make you regret it.”

Knowing that his threat will ring true if I don’t figure something out, and fast, I nod my head in agreement before following it up with words. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll fix it.”

“Get the fuck out of my office. I can’t stand to look at you any longer, you pathetic mess.”