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He moves into my space quickly, and I make the mistake of looking to my shell of a mother for help, but she continues to sip her alcohol as if she’s completely unfazed by the situation.

“She won’t save you, Griffin!” he screams in my face, spittle splattering across my skin, forcing me to wince. I brace for the hit I’ve been anticipating my entire life, but it doesn’t come. His next words should cut deep, but I expected them. I knew it would end like this, but I needed to do it anyway.

“No son of mine is gay. You are a fucking Nash. You will drop this disgusting little outburst, or I will destroy you. Do you understand me? You will marry a pretty, obedient little wife someday, and you will not embarrass me. I’ll kill you before I let you tarnish everything I’ve worked for, Griffin. Understand?

“Let’s just say it didn’t go well.”

“I’m sorry. You deserve to have people in your life who love you for you and support you unconditionally, Finn.”

A knot of emotion lodges in my throat, and I’m forced to swallow hard against it.

“How, uh, how do you think your parents would take it?”

Carter thinks for a second before laughing, confusing the shit out of me.

“My parents are awesome. They just want us to be happy. They’ve never put pressure on any of us to be anything other than who we are. Honestly, there’s not much I could tell them that they wouldn’t be supportive of. Hypothetically, I can’t imagine a world where I told them I was hooking up with a man and they were anything but happy. They may be a littleconfused, though; I’m known as quite the playboy. My brothers and I all have nicknames for each other. Mine? Casanova. Before that, it was lover boy,” he says through a laugh. “I can imagine the looks on their faces, and it’s pretty priceless.”

My heart pangs with a kind of jealousy I’ve never felt before. What would it be like to have a supportive family like the one Carter has? That just loves each other for who they are with no requirements or expectations.

“I’m glad you have that. I don’t know what that’s like.”

“I don’t take it for granted, Finn. It’s one of the reasons I feel like shit for feeling the way I do.”

“What do you mean?”

He huffs, combing his fingers through his damp hair before giving me more.

“I don’t fit in. I’m not completely myself around anyone, and I’ve always just felt like I was floating around. All my siblings have roles, and I never knew what mine was, so I chose to just be the fun-time guy, the silly one, the one who’s always down for a good time.”

“But that’s not really who you are, is it?”

He looks away briefly before meeting my eyes, his icy blues forlorn and completely wrecking me. I reach over to touch his face. To my surprise, he nuzzles into the touch, his eyes not leaving mine while he accepts the comfort I’m offering him.

“No, it’s not. But I love them all so much. They have no idea I feel this way, and it’s not their fault, so I keep it from them so that I’m not a burden. Everyone always has so much shit going on and I don’t want to add to it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt them, Finn.”

“I get it, babe. I do.”

“That’s why I’ve got to protect it . . . no matter what.”

I let his words wash over me, and I understand. From what little I know about Carter and his family, I want to protect themtoo. I’ve never had something to fight for like Carter does. I’ve spent my entire life putting everyone else first and not getting anything in return, and Carter seems to willingly give everything to his family, but has so much unwavering love and support from them. I’m always letting my dad bulldoze me, control most aspects of my life, because I’m too weak to fight back. Mostly because I’ve never had a reason to. Until now.

Our attention returns to the movie. We easily pickedThe Incredible Hulkand argued over who our favorite Hulk actor is. Carter starts to doze off before we get halfway through, and when I realize it’s already the early hours of the morning, I know we’ve got to get our asses in bed.

Even though I’m not ready to be away from him, even for sleep, I set our junk food on the coffee table to deal with in the morning and gently nudge Carter to get him to go to his room.

“Hey, we’re gonna pay for this if we don’t get some good sleep. Time for bed.”

He’s groggy as his eyes barely open, but he nods his head, standing and wobbling on his feet. I wrap my arm around his waist and walk his sleepy ass to the bedroom he’s claimed, pulling back the sheets as he drops his gym shorts and gets into bed naked. His dark hair is such a contrast to the white sheets, his long, thick eyelashes fanning over his beautiful face. My heart aches for him, and I don’t know how I’ve rapidly fallen for someone I’ve only had a handful of interactions with. All I know is that I have, and I would do anything to keep this feeling. I’ve got to face my dad as soon as we return to Washington and figure out why it’s so important to him that I stay away from the Hayes family and Aspen Ridge. I don’t want to ruin my career, but I don’t want to lose a chance with Carter, either.

I cover him with the blanket, and just as I’m about to leave, his voice shatters the last layer of protection I was holding over my heart.

“Stay with me?”

Without a word, I climb into bed with him. We don’t touch, there’s no cuddling, but just feeling the heat emanating from his body, hearing as his breathing evens out as he falls into sleep after our long-ass day, is enough peace for me. I haven’t slept next to another person before, and I never want to sleep away from Carter again.

CHAPTER 10

carter