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“Maybe because they weren’t the right ones,” Lexi suggested. Her statement was so simple, but incredibly hard to hear. How had I gotten my love life so wrong up until now?
For a moment, Killian’s face flashed in my mind. The way he’d looked at me earlier, telling me I was beautiful just as I was. The warmth in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice.
I shook my head trying to clear the image. If he had any type of romantic feelings for me, he would have said something before now. Killian was not the type to beat around the bush.
“Yeah. Maybe.” I looked up at the ceiling, willing my tears away.
“I get it.” Lexi pulled me into a side hug. “I pined for my brother’s best friend for years.”
I sniffed. “And how did that turn out?”
“We’re together now. He fought it tooth and nail, but in my heart I knew we were destined to be. So I’m the last one to tell you to give up if you feel it inside your soul Peter is the one. I just don’t want to see you dull that sparkle you have for anyone.” She squeezed my arm in a comforting way.
“As much as it hurts to give up on the dream of Peter and me, I know I need to for my own mental health.” How was it that I felt this sense of heaviness in me lighten a bit as I said that out loud? “Thank you for letting me confide in you. I don’t have a lot of girlfriends to talk to.”
“You can confide in us any time,” she said, squeezing my hand. “If this is what you want, we’ll make sure you knock the socks off any upcoming dates. But promise me something?”
I looked at her. “What?”
“Promise me you’ll remember that the most attractive thing about you isn’t your clothes or your makeup. It’s your kindness, your compassion, and your talent. Don’t lose sight of that, okay?”
I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “I promise.”
“Now, as for not having a lot of girlfriends. I have a bunch I can share with you. Do you like to read?” Lexi gave me a final squeeze and moved back to the racks.
“Uh, yeah. I love to read.” I grabbed my nearby purse and pulled out my ereader. It was my escape when we were on the road in between concerts or even when I was home alone.
“Perfect. Then you need to come to our next book club meeting.”
I laughed. “Sure. What is it with Rhode Island and book clubs?”
Lexi’s brow furrowed, not understanding my joke. She chose a few outfits I hadn’t yet tried on and tossed them into the keep pile, then held up a stunning maroon dress with a faint detail embossed within the fabric in front of me. “You’re trying this on next.” She draped it over a chair and returned to me to tug the zipper down on the dress I was currently wearing. “What do you mean about Rhode Island and book clubs?” she asked, already distracted, pulling out a comfortable loungewear set in a pretty blush color.
“My new neighbor Ana is in a book club. The night we met she’d been coming from a meeting.”
Lexi swiveled around so fast I thought she’d topple over. “Ana Arendal?”
“Yeah, do you know her?”
Lexi giggled. “Did you forget about the two degrees of separation in Rhode Island? I definitely know her. Same book club.”
She wasn’t wrong. It had been so many years since I lived here that I almost forgot. Everyone knew everyone—or was a relative of someone. Seriously, the entire state was like one big small town.
“Now you definitely have to join us. Doesn’t she, Jenn?”
“Oh, absolutely. Then you can keep us up to date on this whole dating situation.” Jenn grinned.
“I will.” If there was anything to tell.
Lexi lifted up the burgundy dress again. “Try this last one on.”
I looked at the pile I was supposed to keep with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not sure there’s enough days in the year for me to wear everything just once,” I teased.
She waved her hand at me. “You can never have too many outfits.”
At this point, there were so many articles of clothing that I wasn’t sure where I’d fit them all in my apartment. Lexi had even texted a friend of hers, Ashlyn Prince, about putting aside lingerie for me at her shop. Her boutique, Inspired, I had only heard about and been meaning to visit since we moved back to Rhode Island. Just the thought of putting on lingerie that fit my plus-size body, fit comfortably, and each piece had the added extra touch of a hand-sewn positive message stitched in was exactly what I needed.
I retreated to the nearby bathroom and slid off the black dress. Once the burgundy dress was zipped, the hem settled around my knees. I adored the slightly puffy long sleeves. “Oh.” I fumbled with the front ties. “Lexi? Can you help with the ties?” With them wide open, it gaped, exposing my breasts.