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I should’ve known that she’d choose Peter. How could I have expected to compete with her obsessive love for him that spanned two decades? My two short days with her were a blink of an eye when you compared the two. In the moment when she chose me, she’d seemed so sure, all in, but the second Peter snapped his fingers, she jumped.
Just like last time.
Just like every time.
I stared at the bottom of my glass, watching the potent liquid swirl.
She chose Peter.A fresh wave of pain hit with a surprising force. I knocked back the rest of my whiskey, relishing the burn as it slid down my throat. It was fitting, really. The burn in my chest, the inferno in my veins—it all matched the chaos erupting in my head.
My phone buzzed on the bartop beside me. Judd’s name flashed across the screen. I considered ignoring it, but after a moment’s hesitation, I picked up.
“Yeah?” My voice was rough.
“You okay?”
“Peachy.”
“Oooo-kay.” He drew out the syllables of the word. “I hate to ask this. I know you said you weren’t ready to jump back in, but we’ve heard chatter of movement. Nikol Petrosian, the guy we’ve been looking for who escaped, is here in Rhode Island. I?—”
Nothingness enveloped me. Judd’s request lit the tiniest ember of feeling in my body.
One that felt reckless.
On edge.
One that craved something to make mefeelagain.
Adrenaline surged through me, popping and bubbling like the finest champagne.
This was exactly what I needed to stop fucking thinking about Trissa. “I’m in. What do you need me to do?”
Silence filled the air between us.
“What?” I asked.
“That just seemed way too easy. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. All you need to concern yourself with is that I’m all in.” I needed the danger of another mission to forget about Tris and the fact that my world was crumbling around me.
Again.
A shit show of my own making.
“I need you in the right headspace for this. I’m not risking your life to nab this fucker.” Judd was a good guy. Far better than me.
I heard the sound of my elevator. What the fuck? “Hold on a sec.”
The doors opened to reveal Jack’s smiling face and his arms full with a case of beer. “Took down one of the linesmen last night and earned myself a meeting with the commissioner. Probably a long-term suspension. Want to day-drink with me?”
I chuckled and held up a finger telling Jack to wait.
This was perfect. “I’m in the right headspace, Judd. And even if I wasn’t, I’ll bring Jack with me. He can keep me in check.”
“Jack? He’s a crazy motherfucker. He’ll only make the situation worse. Do I need to remind you we’re dealing with dangerous people here?”
“It’ll be fine. Send me the info and where to meet.” I ignored his worried tone. This mission was exactly what I needed.
“On the record, I’m saying this is a bad idea, but fuck, I need you to jump in right now. You’re the only one with a personal connection. And we can’t lose this guy. If he goes underground again, we might not have another chance.”