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Ana’s brow furrowed. “And that didn’t put you off?”
I waved my hand in front of me. “I know how it looks. He had a good reason why he chose it. When we were younger, he called me Songbird and my last name is Byrd.”
Ana leaned forward, her expression thoughtful. “It sounds like you want to give him the benefit of the doubt?”
I nodded.
“So you expect things to get better with him?”
“I do. He’s been off lately. Something’s bothering him, and I think that maybe he just needs to know I’ll stick by him no matter what.”
Her brows creased in thought. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I appreciated Ana’s gentle touch throughout our conversation.
“When you picture Killian helping you become the perfect woman for Peter, how does that make you feel?”
I closed my eyes, trying to sort through the tangle of emotions. “Excited, I guess? But also… I don’t know, nervous? Guilty maybe?” The guilt tugged at me. My stomach knotted up tight at the thought.
“Guilt?”
I plucked at the worn thread at the bottom of my t-shirt. “Peter and Killian hate each other. If Peter knew I’d asked him for help—with anything—he’d be so disappointed in me.”
Ana tossed a gentle smile my way. “But you want Killian’s help anyway?”
“He’s my best shot at getting Peter to notice me. And maybe this is stupid to hope for, but I’d love to figure out a way for us all to be friends again.” Whether they’d admit it or not, Killian and Peter balanced each other out.
“Could you deal with it if any of that doesn’t happen? If the three of you are still estranged after this is all over?”
My heart hurt even entertaining the thought that none of it would come true. I knew my wish was a long-shot when it came to getting our group back together, but someone had to keep the faith. And when Peterdidfall in love with me, I could reveal Killian was the one who helped. I’d think Peter would be grateful and more likely to forgive Killian by then.
“I know it’s naïve of me to want both to come true when in reality I have no idea if I can make any of it happen.” I needed to ask Ana what she did for a career. Even though the wine loosened my tongue, she had a way about her that made me seek out her guidance.
A humming sounded at the back of her throat. “It’s not naïve to desire the guy you’ve had feelings for or to want to hold on to friendships that are meaningful.”
“I know, but… what if… ” I trailed off, not sure how to articulate the nagging thought tickling my mind.
“What if what?”
I took another sip of wine, for courage. “What if in becoming ‘Peter’s type,’ I become nothing like myself?” Killian’s words from earlier floated through my mind, that I was amazing just as I was. But if I was such a catch, why had love been so hard to find?
Ana’s eyebrows rose slightly. “You said you wanted to change so Peter would notice you. Doesn’t that inherently mean you become different than you currently are?”
She wasn’t totally wrong. “I guess. I was kind of hoping I’d still be me, but better.” I toyed with the stem of my wineglass and grudgingly admitted, “Killian thinks it’s a stupid idea.”
“Does he?” Ana had propped her chin up with her hand.
I sipped my wine. “I can recognize Peter has changed lately and not for the better. He’s distracted, making bad decisions, and not as thoughtful as he used to be, but deep down he’s a good guy. We grew up together. Iknowhim.”
Ana nodded as though encouraging me to continue.
“He was the first person I felt like myself with after my parents died and he’s looked out for me over the years. Just because Peter is having a hard time right now doesn’t mean I should abandon him. Killian just doesn’t see the same things I do. He doesn’t get it.”
“And you want him to get it?” she asked, a softness to her tone.
“I do. We were all friends once. If Killian helps me, I know we can be that way again.” Our friendship with Killian had just ended. I knew that sometimes things happened in life, but it shouldn’t have happened with us. I’d always thought we were solid.
Ana’s head tilted slightly. “So what did Peter say when you confronted him about the gift?”