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I looked down into my glass, staring at the pale liquid. “I didn’t.”
“Okaaaaay.” Ana drew out the a.
I dipped my head. “I know I should have, but the bird thing happened a long time ago. Nobody would’ve remembered it.” Except Killian had. I pushed that thought out of my head. “And I guess I didn’t want him to feel bad for forgetting. He’s under a lot of pressure with pulling together another album and getting ready for an upcoming tour. He’d never purposely hurt me.”
“I’m not going to tell you what to do here, only you know your heart, but if Peter is important enough for you to change for him, then shouldn’t he be important enough to hear your truth? That he forgot your fear of birds?”
“You’re right.” When had I stopped communicating with Peter when he did something I didn’t like? No relationship worked well, friendship or romantic, without open communication.
Both of us stayed lost in thought for a few minutes.
“Do you think Killian will agree to help you?” Ana asked, breaking the silence.
“I hope so. I trust him. And … ” Ugh I wasn’t sure how to say the half formed thought in my head.
“And …?”
I squirmed. That guilt ate at me one more time. “I like the idea of having Killian back in my life. Even if it’s only to get Peter to notice me.”
Ana tapped at her chin with her pointer finger. “What if Peter finds out he’s helping you?”
I shrugged. “I’m hoping he doesn’t, or by the time that happens, I’ll have figured out a way to repair our friendship.”
Ana stayed silent, her head tilted as she regarded me. A touch of pity and sadness shadowed her features.
“You think I’m delusional, don’t you?” I chewed on my lower lip.
“No, I don’t. And I know we’ve just met, but I hate the thought of you getting hurt.”
I gave her a trembling smile. “But if I don’t take this last chance, I’ll always worry that if I didn’t try one last time, I might have missed out on an amazing love story.” I refilled our wine glasses. “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this. We’ve known each other for what, two minutes?”
Ana grinned, raising her glass in a toast. “To instant connections, the magic of lava cake, and yummy wine.”
I tapped my glass against hers, a warm feeling of belonging washing over me. “You know, I’ve never really had many close girlfriends. This is… nice.”
“Well, get used to it, neighbor,” Ana declared. “Who knows? Maybe having someone to talk to who isn’t wrapped up in all this drama will help you figure things out.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I think I needed this more than I realized.”
Ana stood and pulled me into a hug. “That’s what friends are for. And if you ever need a break from the boys, I’d love it if you joined us for book club.”
I laughed, feeling a spark of excitement at the idea. “You know what? I might take you up on that.” A huge yawn escaped my mouth. “I should get going. Morning will be here before I know it, and I have a big meeting.”
As I prepared to leave, Ana gave me another hug. “Remember,” she said, “it’s okay to be unsure. Just be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling.”
I nodded, a mix of hope and anxiety swirling in my chest. As I walked next door to my apartment, I found myself wishing more than ever that Killian would agree to help me. Because if he didn’t, I wasn’t sure what that would mean.
I couldn’t go on like this forever, praying Peter would notice me, and I was terrified the chance to re-establish my friendship with Killian was just wishful thinking.
And now that I’d made contact with Killian after all this time, it hit me that a small part of my heart had been missing. That the three of us together made my life feel complete.
I didn’t want to go back to the way things were, but what if there was no other choice?
Chapter Six
KILLIAN
Istrode through the restaurant’s main area to the private room at the back of Luminosity. The heavy oak door closed behind me with a soft thud. The space’s dim lighting cast long shadows across the rich mahogany paneling, creating an atmosphere of exclusivity and secrecy.