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While the girls watch a movie in the back of Lillian’s truck, she whispers, “Does he know yet?”
I groan, my face in my hands. “No. And the more we… you know…” I motion between my legs just in case she doesn’t get it. “The harder it gets.”
“Because you’re falling for him,” Lillian adds, looking over at me.
I stare at the white roads lined with snow. I totally am. Three weeks ago, sunshine, lies, and palm trees were my only views. Now there’s open roads and words I can’t say. I rationalize to myself that I’m not lying to him. Withholding information isn’t the same as lying, right? “I’m so afraid if I tell him my connection with Tara, he’ll end whatever this is we have, and that’s the opposite of what I want to happen.”
Lillian sighs, moving around a snowplow parked on the side of the road. “I’ve known Barron my entire life. You have nothing to be worried about. Just tell him the truth, and I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“What’s he like? I mean, I see a side of him… good with the girls, caring, hardworking, but is that what he’s really like?”
She smiles, unrestricted. “That’s exactly him. Both the Grady boys. Bishop raised them right. They work hard for what they want and love even harder. And those girls are his entire world. He’d do anything for them.”
I look back at the girls, both covered in blankets, eyes glued to the DVD screens on the headrests and their headphones pushing their adorable chubby cheeks together. “What was Tara thinking?”
“She wasn’t. Clearly.” Lillian snorts. “She was my best friend growing up. When she got together with Barron, I warned him to steer clear of her, but he didn’t listen. That’s the thing about him. Barron doesn’t always listen to logic.”
Would he see mine? Sighing, I stare out at passing farmlands. “What’s going on with you and Morgan?”
“I don’t know.” She sighs. “I don’t understand any of it.”
“They’re getting a divorce, aren’t they?”
“Yeah. Apparently she’s pregnant.”
My eyes widen. “What? Seriously?”
“I guess so. He doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Is he going to be a part of the baby’s life?” And then I remember what Barron said. Morgan and the bull. “Wait… Barron said he couldn’t have kids….”
Lillian looks over at me, a “yeah, fuck that bitch” expression on her face. “She was seeing some guy from Tulsa. Morgan’s devastated by it, and now I don’t know where that leaves us but in the middle of a nasty divorce.”
“I thought they’d settled on her only wanting half of the savings.”
“They did, until he found out she was pregnant.”
“Man, the Grady boys really get fucked over by women.” And then I realize what I said and my current predicament and hers. I shake my head when we both burst out laughing.
She places her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know how you ended up here by chance, but you might just be the best thing that’s happened to me.” Her eyes drift to the rearview mirror. “And them.”
Breathing in deeply, I nod. “I’m going to tell him. Tonight.”
“Did you have fun shopping today?” I ask the girls, getting them ready for bed. They ended up getting him a T-shirt that says:I HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS. YOU DON’T SCARE ME.
Barron had to go help Morgan bring in cattle tonight that got out into the wrong field thanks to a ranch hand leaving a gate open. I was certainly happy to do this part. I’ve worked my way into a weird, domesticated life where I’m helping out with the girls and telling myself it’s payment for him fixing my car. Which is done and sitting in his shop like a forgotten toy. I don’t ask about it. He doesn’t either.
“I like you,” Camdyn tells me, brushing my hair as Sev asks to have my fingernails. My fucking fingernails. She wants them for a spell she’s working on but won’t tell me what it is.
This little girl and her magic, I love it.
I got online the other day and ordered a vintage spellbook that I had them engrave her name on for Christmas. I don’t know if I’ll still be here next week, but I want her to have it. Maybe because even if I leave tomorrow, I want these girls to remember me in some way.
For Camdyn, Lillian helped me pick out some custom Ariat boots for her that have her favorite colors, brown and teal on them.
“I like you too.”
“Can you stay with us?” She takes the brush from my hand and then curls up beside me. “My daddy likes you.”