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“Deal.”
When we get back to the house, Barron is checking the oil in my car. I watch Camdyn disappear into the house and the door close behind her. “Is Sev okay?”
Barron nods. “That’s the cool thing about kids, they forget easily.”
The words aren’t meant to hurt me, but they do. I wish I could forget all the times my mom made me feel not good enough. I want to run inside the house and hug Sev, but I don’t want to make this worse for them.
Smiling at Barron, I watch his face, waiting to see what his reaction will be. He keeps his emotions masked, eyes on the field behind me. I touch his forearm, curling my fingers around it. “You stole my battery.”
A soft smile graces his beautiful lips as he lowers the hood to my car. It clanks shut, and then he turns, leaning into the fender. “I did.”
I stand in front of him, my keys in hand. “Why?”
“Because I wanted you to stay.”
My heart skips a beat. “And now?”
He sighs heavily, his voice fearful, like he’s hoping any minute I’m going to say “just kidding, I’m staying.” “Now… I think you need to experience you. And if at some point that leads you back into my life, then I suppose that’s fate.”
My heart cracks with his words. “How does a guy like you exist in the world?” I can barely look at him, terrified to lose him. As much as I know I should leave, I don’t want to.
His face is contorted into what I can only assume is agony, and he turns away, pulling his hands through his hair. “Fuck.” He grunts painfully.
I grab him by the shirt and yank him toward me, refusing to allow space between us.
The absolute worst part is when he lets me go. Our eyes meet, and they stay locked for a moment, remembering the connection we have together. Barron reaches up and twirls a lock of my hair between his fingers. He watches the auburn dance in his hand before letting it fall.
I hug him tighter and exhale the breath I had been holding. I lift my hand and rest my chin on his chest, looking up at him.
He doesn’t smile. “I’ll always remember this… with you,” he says, attempting to smile, but it doesn’t touch the pain in his eyes.
“I will too.”
It hurts to watch, but it’s harder to look away as he takes in the reality of me leaving. His eyes drift to my car. “Will you promise me something?”
I nod.
He runs his hand over my hair and keeps his eyes on mine. “If you ever find yourself in Amarillo again, you come see me?”
I bury my head in his chest, savoring the connection I know will be gone once we break apart. I’m not trying to choke back the tears, and neither is Barron. His eyes are freaking bloodshot, and it looks like this hardened cowboy might shed a tear over this. But he doesn’t.
“Thanks for crashing into my life,” he says slowly, his breath on my skin, his words filling my heart. I squeeze my eyes shut, hot tears spilling onto my cheeks as I take in his words. Then he lets go and creates distance, raising his hand to cup my face. “Take care of yourself,” he mumbles, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. Kissing me once more, he removes my hands from around his neck, kisses my knuckles, and then lets my hands fall. “And be safe.” Without another glance, he walks toward the house.
My heart skips and then beats faster. I never planned on being on that ranch road three weeks ago. I didn’t plan to fall for dark, mysterious eyes and two little girls who looked at me as if I was the sun, desperate for warmth and love from a mother figure when I was so dependent on that very same thing.
Greedy, hungry for acceptance, I wormed myself into their lives without so much thought of what it would mean to leave it. And now that I’m leaving, I can’t help but think it’s for the wrong reasons.
My heart begs him to stop me, but as the taste of him fades on my lips, he doesn’t.
Should I follow her?
BARRON
I exhale a long breath and watch the cloud of dust behind her car. What in the motherfucking hell was I thinking? What was I going to do? Beg her to stay? I won’t do that, not to her. She’s too young and hasn’t experienced anything outside of California. And if I beg her to stay and it’s not what she wants, I’m that guy again, trapping a girl who doesn’t want to be.
So I let her leave, regardless of how much it hurts inside.
Inside the house, I want to collapse to my knees. It’s worse than when I found Tara’s ring on the nightstand. I allowed Kacy in, and it hurt that much more letting her leave. I expect to have relief that she’s gone, no more impending doom of her doing so, but that doesn’t come either.