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I look back at her and realize while I’ve been through this twice, she hasn’t. This is all new to her and she’s terrified. “It’s okay. Everything will go smoothly.”
Those should have been my last words because no, things don’t go smoothly. It takes forever to find my keys. I run out of gas in my truck on the way there. Morgan picks us up and Kacy pretty much hates my guts by the time we get there.
“I told you I wasn’t prepared!” Kacy shouts at me, between contractions still holding onto the last traumatic hour. “And neither were you!”
“Just because my truck was low on gas doesn’t mean I wasn’t prepared,” I tell her, trying to rub her back.
She knocks my hand away. “Stop touching me. I’m trying to push your baby out of me.” With her head bent forward, she levels the doctor a serious but terrified look. “I’m real sorry I have a vajungle down there. I can’t see it anymore and my husband didn’t tell me it looked like that.”
She shoots me a glare and the doctor laughs.
“How am I the bad guy here? I was trying to be nice.”
“Nice is one thing.” I’m handed another glare. “Not telling me my how big my ass had gotten, that’s something else entirely.”
“Kacy, I need you to push,” the doctor tells her, probably hoping she’ll listen to him.
“I can’t be here,” Sev groans, standing up from her place after we tell her no, she can’t have the placenta.
Thankfully Lillian ushers the girls out of the room because it’s then it dawns on me that they shouldn’t be in here for this. That leaves me alone with my very freaked-out wife who is about to give birth for the first time. I can’t blame her for being scared. I passed out when Camdyn was born and was drunk the day Sev was born.
Beside me, Kacy starts crying and I grab her hand. “Come on now, honey. You gotta push.”
Her eyes lock on mine. “Okay.”
Five minutes later, our third baby enters the world. And when I look at Kacy, I see the day we met. Only us, a beginning, and this is what forever feels like.
He’s the cutest thing in the entire world.
KACY
I don’t remember much about the delivery. I was so freaked out once my water broke that the second they offered me drugs, I stuck out my arm and said, “Inject me, bitch.” Popping a seven-pound baby out my vag just sounded a whole lot better with drugs. I do remember Sev asking if she can see what the placenta looks like. And Camdyn constantly trying to make sure I was okay. And I remember the moment my baby boy took his first breath.
A boy. I was this beautiful boy’s mama.
I remember reading somewhere that when a mother has a girl first, it’s because she needs to mature. When she has a boy first, she needs to experience real love.
I think it’s fitting that I have a son because growing up, I’m not sure I ever experienced that kind of love. At least not from my mother. But my kids will never ever have to question my love.
“I love him so much, Barron,” I cry, holding our son to my chest. Our very pissed-off and screaming son that’s covered in, I don’t want to know, but I hold him. The way Barron holds the girls. The way a mother should hold her children. “I love him so, so much.”
“You did good, darlin’,” he tells me, touching our son’s head and then kissing my forehead. “What should we name him?”
I smile around my tears. “Austyn.”
“It’s perfect.”
Thisis perfect.
In you, I found myself.
-finding forever
I’m not crying, you are!
BARRON
A son. I have a son. A little boy to carry on the Grady name.