Page 63

Carla

Brian had been obsessed with money.His excuse for gambling was that he wanted the best for his family, but he was an addict.Before Carla decided to leave, she tried to get him to admit the harm he was bringing to all of them.He kept assuring her that the people he owed money to wouldn’t come after her—only him.

But one day, three men showed up at Morgan and Charlie’s Gymboree class to threaten her.

“Carla, you’re making too much of this,” Brian said later that night when the girls were asleep.“I told you those men aren’t going to hurt you or the girls.They’re just trying to intimidate you.”

“Well, it’s working.You’re supposed to protect us, not put us in the middle of your mess.”

“It’s all going to be fine.I have a bet on a game this weekend, and I’m going to win big.I’ll get the money I owe them, and things will go back to normal.”

“And what if you lose?”Carla asked.

“I won’t.It’s a sure thing.”

Carla didn’t want to argue, so she nodded and walked away.Then those same men showed up at the park the following week.

“Your deadbeat husband now owes us thirty thousand dollars, and if he doesn’t pay, one of your girls could “accidentally” go missing,” a man with broad shoulders and arms bigger than Carla’s thighs said.

“You know, accidents can happen,” the other man said.

Carla was shaking so much she didn’t know if she could drive them home.

“I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here,” Carla repeated as she paced in the family room.Morgan, a little over four years old, and Charlie, two and a half, were clapping their hands with glee over the contraption they’d built with their Legos.The front of it resembled a dune buggy crossed with a front-end loader.The back was part castle and part sphinx.On the top of their creation was an umbrella, a beach chair, and a knight standing guard.

The girls’ innocent joy made Carla happy—they were her only priority, and she knew she was doing the right thing.Suddenly, nausea overtook her, and she ran to the bathroom.After Carla had emptied everything in her stomach, she steadied herself by holding onto the bathroom wall.As she returned to the girls, she unconsciously rested her hands on her stomach.She had to leave New York soon; it wouldn’t be much longer before her belly would no longer be flat, and Brian would realize she was pregnant again.

She put the girls in front of aLion KingDVD and wrote down a list of everything she needed to do.She’d been saving money from the groceries, twenty dollars here, forty dollars there.She also emptied her secret bank account.She knew even before the last week that Brian was in trouble, but she didn’t realize how much.When he told her about his upcoming business trip to Philadelphia, she dropped the girls off with a sitter and went to the airport to buy them plane tickets to Los Angeles.She needed to pay cash, or he’d be able to find out where she’d taken his daughters.

Carla didn’t want to leave anything open-ended, so she hired a lawyer to serve Brian with divorce papers as soon as he came home from Philadelphia.By that time, she and the girls would be across the country.

Carla would miss all her friends, especially Antonio.They had a strong bond; he had been the one person she went to when she had a problem, but not this time.As much as she trusted him, she didn’t want to put him in a position to lie if Brian contacted him looking for them.

The day Brian left for his trip, Carla woke up before their alarm and watched him sleep.As he snored ever so softly, she thought,why couldn’t you have died?As soon as that thought came into her head, she turned away.How can I say that about the only man I’d ever loved—and still love.It would have been easier if he disappeared because deciding to leave her home and life in New York had almost broken her.

The alarm went off, and Carla, her eyes wide, sat up quickly.

“What’s wrong?”Brian asked, suddenly awake, staring at her.

She imagined she had a sign across her forehead that read, ‘Ask me why I’m guilt-ridden.’

“Nothing,” she said.“I just realized that before you go today, I need a little extra money.Morgan and Charlie have birthdays coming up, and I want to start buying them gifts and planning their parties.”

“Of course, anything for my girls,” Brian said.

She knew he meant it, but his actions didn’t support it.Carla turned away as he grabbed his wallet and handed her most of his cash.“I’ll go to the bank before I get on the train today,” he said.

When Brian picked up his overnight bag to leave, Carla grabbed him and hugged him tightly, then gazed into his eyes and kissed him.

“I’m not joining a cult; I’ll only be gone for a few days.”Brian laughed, then suddenly stopped when he saw Carla’s expression.“Are you okay?”he asked.

“I’ll just miss you,” she said, her voice tearful.

“Now, I can’t wait to come home,” he said, grabbing her.“I’ll see you all in a few days.”

“Daddy...”Morgan and Charlotte yelled as they ran into the room and enthusiastically jumped into his arms; Carla couldn’t bear to watch.

“Goodbye, my sweet girls.I’ll see you soon,” he kissed each of them on the forehead.