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“Okay, you’re right.I get it, more equal.You got it.”

“Thanks.”Charlie breathed a sigh of relief.Maybe this can work.“When you go home, can you water the orchids in my apartment?I don’t want them to die before I get back.”

“Didn’t we just decide to prioritize ourselves more?”Rick asked.“Since I’ve been spending so much time doing all my errands lately, I need to have time to get to the gym.”

Charlie slowly counted to five in her head.“Do you want to watch TV?”she asked.

“Sure, I heard there’s a new Dahmer documentary on Netflix.”

“I can’t watch serial killers at night.”

“This one will be different.”

“No, it won’t.”She looked at the menu for another show to watch.“What about a show about Joan Rivers’ rise to fame.”

“Boring.”They sat for a minute in silence.Then Rick continued, “I know what we can do.”A flirtatious smirk spread across his face; Charlie knew his expression well.

“I’m kind of tired,” she said.“I haven’t been sleeping well.”She saw the disappointed look on Rick’s face.“Cuddling would be nice, though.”

“Okay, and then tomorrow night you’ll have more energy.”

After Rick fell asleep, Charlie tossed and turned for quite a while, trying to figure out how she had ended up being so strong in some parts of her life and so weak in others.

She must have finally drifted off when she found herself having the same dream she’d had many times before.She and Rick were at a fancy restaurant.He was talking incessantly about some video game he’d been trying to beat.Suddenly, he clutched his chest, fell off his chair and dropped to the ground.The lamb chop in his hand skittered across the black and white tile floor, landing beside the cowboy boot of a woman at the next table.Charlie looked down into Rick’s wide-open eyes as their normal iridescent color lost its light.She knew he was already gone.

Commotion reverberated in the restaurant, but Charlie was paralyzed and couldn’t stand up.A man at the next table called out that he was a doctor and ran over.He began CPR while his wife called 911.The doctor continued compressions on Rick’s chest, and his wife kept her finger on Rick’s pulse until the paramedics rushed in.Charlie stared at her plate where the congealed linguine had transformed into a bunch of live worms.Rick was put on a stretcher, and a sheet was placed over him.This was the always the part of the dream where Charlie woke up.

When she first started having the dream, Charlie told her therapist about it.

“Do you notice that Rick is the one to leave you?”the therapist said.“Is it possible your subconscious is telling you it’s time to end that relationship?”

“Probably.But I’m scared of being alone,” Charlie told him.

“Aren’t you alone now?”the therapist asked.

Charlie knew it was wrong to lie to another therapist, but she couldn’t let him see that she didn’t have the energy to change anything.During the subsequent few sessions, she told her therapist that Rick had an epiphany and realized that he’d been taking her for granted.Charlie said he was now devoted to making her needs his top priority, and they were heading toward an engagement.After a few weeks, Charlie left therapy instead of revealing the truth.Besides, she didn’t have enough to talk about if she couldn’t complain about Rick.

While Rick snored quietly, Charlie stared at the clock and clenched her jaw,Mom, I’m glad you aren’t here to see me not taking control or standing up for myself.

A day later, when Rick left for the airport, Charlie leaned on the closed door, letting her head rest gently against the cool wood.Then she crossed her arms and gave herself a much-needed hug.An hour later, she’d never been happier to see Morgan come home.

CHAPTER 19

Abby

The moment Abby walked through her front door three of her four kids attached themselves to her like koala bears hanging onto a tree branch.Abby couldn’t distinguish what they were saying because they were all talking at once, but she knew it didn’t matter.They just wanted her to love them, which she did with lots of hugs and kisses.

“Guys, give your mom some breathing room,” Alex said, gently removing the tiny beings from her as if they were crazed teens at a Taylor Swift concert.

“It’s okay; I missed them so much,” Abby said.

“Well, I want my turn, too.”Alex pulled Abby into his arms and kissed her.The two boys giggled and covered their eyes.

When Alex and Abby moved apart, the kids fought over who their mom had missed the most.

“Hey,” Alex said.“Mom missed you all the same amount.”

“I really did,” Abby said, leaning down to hug them again.