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“That might be because when she wasn’t working, she spent most of her time thinking about us,” Charlie said.

“I always liked that.Does that make me selfish?”Abby said, shrugging her shoulders and looking down at the floor like a dog that knew it was in trouble for something.

“No.Mom loved us, and she knew we loved her.We visited her a lot, and we talked to her on the phone at least once a week,” Charlie said to the guilt inside her head.

“Did you guys ever notice that when you’d ask Mom about herself, she’d change the subject?”Morgan asked.

“Yes.She’d ask me a million questions about the kids and barely tell me anything about what was going on with her,” Abby said.

“I’m a psychotherapist; how could I not have seen that she was always dodging my questions?”Charlie asked.

“It just seemed like who she was,” Morgan said.

Charlie nodded.“What do people do after they say goodbye to the most important person in their life?”

“When Alex’s grandfather died, we went to Alex’s aunt’s house and honored his memory by eating cold cuts,” Abby said.

“I want to honor Mom, but I’m not hungry,” Morgan said.

“Me either,” Abby said.

“If we’re going to eat anything, we should get corned beef sandwiches from Art’s Deli,” Charlie said.“Those were Mom’s favorite.”

“So, if she were here, that’s what she’d want,” Morgan said.

“I don’t think any of us know what Mom would’ve wanted,” Abby said.Morgan and Charlie nodded solemnly.

Abby blew her nose and started the car but left it in park.“Do you think her death could’ve been an accident?”Abby asked.

“Taking an entire bottle of pills is no accident,” Charlie said.

CHAPTER 8

Abby

Since Morgan was the first one to the front door of Carla’s house, she unlocked it.When they walked inside, Abby couldn’t take her eyes off how neat and organized everything was.

“Whoa,” Abby said.

When Abby visited her mom, there would usually be a pile of clothes on a chair and a set of towels on the corner of the couch waiting to be folded.Dishes were always drying in the sink, and their mother had kept everyPeoplemagazine from the last ten years.A few dishes were carefully stacked on the counter, and there wasn’t a magazine in sight.

The house was dust-free and sparkling clean.The kitchen smelled strongly of Lysol.The books on the shelf in the living room were organized, and a jigsaw puzzle with only a handful of pieces was waiting to be put in.It looked like their mother had moved out, except for her cherry-red lipstick on a coffee cup on the side table in the living room.

“Mom didn’t want to leave us a mess to clean up,” Charlie said, her voice cracking.“When I talked to her at the beginning of last week, she was fine.Or at least she sounded fine.”

“You guys should’ve seen this coming before I did.I have four kids and a husband to take care of,” Abby said, then picked up the mug and put it in the dishwasher.

“Are you blaming us?”Morgan said.“How could we know she’d kill herself?”

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” Abby said, then her hands began to shake.“What if this is my fault?

Mom visited me three weeks ago, and the kids didn’t give her a moment’s peace.”Abby put her face in her hands.

Morgan put her arm around Abby’s shoulder.“Mom didn’t kill herself because your kids are nuts,” Morgan said.

Abby suddenly looked up.“Did you just say my kids are nuts?”

“She didn’t mean nuts; she meant…wild,” Charlie said.