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“Come on, inhale, exhale. Breathe. I’m here. Breathe.”
“Wh-what happened?” I look around and I’m sitting on the bed next to him.
“I think you had a panic attack,” he whispers, running his hand through my hair.
“I can’t let him find me,” I look up at Travis, pleading with my eyes. I need him to understand. I need him to be ready to let me go.
“Spencer Rae Maddox, let him fucking try. I’ll gut him like a pig and feed him his own entrails. You’re not leaving. You have me. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll find a way I swear.”
Nodding my head, I lean into him and he lowers us both back onto the bed, covering us with the blankets. He pulls me close, my back pressed against his chest, and I feel his soft breath across my neck as his arm stays draped around my waist.
“I’d give my life for you Spencer. My life. Don’t underestimate who I am. Who I’ve become. No one is taking you away from me. I’ll fucking kill them all.”
With one hand, I run my fingers over the arm that has me pulled close to him. I trace the bulging veins of his forearms like a familiar pattern. He whispers more sweet nothings about torturing anyone who comes near me, and it feels like a demented fucking lullaby, but it soothes my very soul.
Maybe he really can protect me this time.
The thing is, I still haven’t told him everything though. I can’t. Some secrets are meant to stay six feet under.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I mutter as I pack a few more pairs of shoes into the box.
“I promised to keep you safe and this is how I fucking do it Spencer,” Travis growls as he folds the flaps of the box over and tapes it securely shut.
“Remember, you can’t take everything. It can’t look like you took off again.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it. This is my house though Travis. I bought it with the inheritance my mom left me. It… it hurts.”
Setting the roll of tape on top of the box, he turns toward me, wrapping both arms around me and pulling me into his chest. Sighing, I let him. I press my face against his t-shirt and inhale him.
“You have a home with me. You don’t need this. And this is how we throw him off for just a little bit while I figure shit out. I need you to trust me.”
“I know,” I whine. I don’t have anything to fight back with, because he’s right.
Riot came over this morning and the two of them formulated a plan. A way to get me out of this mess and make sure I can stick around this time, as me. Not Aria Spencer. The thought sends a chill down my spine. I haven’t been Spencer Maddox in so long. Will my family love Spencer the way they loved Aria? They never knew about my past, who I was, where I came from.
I wanted to say no, but there’s no other answer to this predicament.
I have to stop working at the bar for a little bit too, and if I’m being honest that’s what stings the most. I didn’t want to leave Rico in a lurch. Travis assured me that Riot recruited a couple of the girls from the club to fill in for me while I’m gone though, so they won’t be short handed. He’s sending three Rico’s way so really, he will have more help than he had to start with.
I open the closet, and Travis stops me, “Leave the rest of the clothes.”
“But,”
“But - people will know you left if you don’t leave a ton of shit behind red. We have to leave things to burn. You have clothes at my place, and I’ll buy you more.”
“There’s just one thing though. Please?”
“Fine,” he grunts.
Shifting through the hangers, I stop when I find it. My black and white Anberlin concert t-shirt. It’s old, and worn. There are holes along the collar, it’s stretched out and faded, but it’s special. It holds morsels of my past that I’ve held onto all these years. Memories that have kept me afloat.
“You still have that?”
I turn around and look at Travis, “Sure do.”
“After all these years?”
“Yep,” I nod with a smile.