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Running one finger along her cheek, I lean forward and I pause. Glittering a more vivid green than ever, her eyes connect with mine and leave me breathless. Something comes over me, and I can’t stop myself as I lean in and kiss her. Her soft lips move with mine as I part them with my tongue, exploring the space I've ached to discover. Our tongues dance together and my heart races. My fingertips tangle in her hair, and she rolls her body against mine.
I have no idea what I’m doing, because I’ve never kissed a girl before, but everything feels right so I just don’t stop, and neither does she.
Spencer is my entire world. She’s sunsets, cotton candy, music, and starlight, and I love her so much that my heart hurts if I try to imagine a life without her.
When I was four years old, I told my mom that I couldn’t marry her anymore. I announced with a huge smile on my face that instead, I was going to marry the pretty yellow haired girl next door that wears Hello Kitty rain boots, one day. Now I’m 15 years old, and I’m kissing the pretty yellow haired girl next door, my best friend in the entire world, and she’s kissing me back.
When the world stops spinning and we finally come back up for air, I’m at a loss for words. They won’t come out. I’m just frozen. I brush a stray hair from her face, and look down into her big doe eyes.
“Wow,” I whisper.
“Wow,” she whispers back.
I may be at a loss for words, but my brain is moving a million miles a minute, and I know without a doubt, that I'm still going to marry the pretty yellow haired girl next door one day.
The song ends and I shake my head. The memory a stark contrast to the reality we live in today. The memory of a time before everything fell apart. Things were so simple. And as much as I want things to be that easy again, we’re both broken and jaded and there’s no going back. But fuck if I’ll take one more step into the future without her.
Chapter twenty-three
Aria
I finish securing the last stray strands of hair into a high ponytail on top of my head, and as I’m pulling some wispy ends out to frame my face, Travis sneaks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, lifting me up off of my feet.
“Oh my god! Stop!” I shriek, letting out a laugh. “Put me down damnit.”
Setting me down on my feet, he spins me around so I’m facing him.
“Are you really going to sit at the bar all night while I’m working?”
“Yep,” he grins, and some part of me just wants to slap the grin right off of his face.
Sighing, I go to walk around him but he steps directly into my path.
“This is really ridiculous you know,” I cross my arms over my chest and look up at him. “Liam isn’t going to come start shit at the bar.”
“I’m not worried that little weasel,” he scoffs.
“Then what are you worried about?”
He shrugs his shoulders, only further irritating me, “There are bigger threats than him out there. I think you know that.”
“Travis, I can’t leave one fucked up relationship for another. I can’t go from being under Liam’s thumb, to being under yours,” I sigh defeatedly. I know he doesn’t want to hear it, but it’s true.
“Don’t compare me to that piece of shit, Spencer.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing though? Keeping me under your thumb? Telling me I belong to you and only you? Following me to work? Enlisting criminals to babysit me?”
He licks his bottom lip and swipes his thumb across the slick skin as he eyes me up and down like something he’s about to devour whole, and fuck if it doesn’t make my knees buckle.
“Nah red. See he wanted to own you for selfish reasons. He wanted to own you to inflict pain on you. I want to own your happiness, your heart, your pleasure. If I ever inflict pain on you, it’ll be pain that brings you so much fucking ecstasy that your body can’t handle it. He called you a whore to put you down and make you feel undeserving. When I call you a whore, it’ll be because I know you’re a whore for me, and only me. Existing to take every fucking orgasm that I send surging your trembling body. And I will, red. Fuck, I will. And with me, you’ll always have the control. Even when you don’t. I’ll never take from you anything you’re not willing to give me.”
He takes a step forward, and I hold my breath. It’s like he’s sucking up all the oxygen in the room every time we are together. He does things to my mind and my body that I can’t make sense of. I don’t want to want him this way. But fuck if every filthy word that falls from his lips doesn’t turn me into putty in his hands.
Snaking one hand around my waist, he pulls me in, eating up all the space between us. Leaning forward, he runs his tongue across my bottom lip and I feel my knees go weak. He picks me up with both hands, holding me up, walking backward until his legs hit the mattress. Never deviating from course, his eyes bore into mine and the heat between us has my breath increasing and my heart racing.
He sits down, pulling me into a straddling position across his lap and he brings his lips to my neck. Peppering my skin with soft, slow kisses, as he slides his hands beneath my skirt. The tip of his tongue travels slowly up the column of my neck to my earlobe.
“Fuck,” he groans, “Never stop wearing these little skirts red.”