Page 24

CLEM

When Raine invited me for dinner, it felt like a lifeline. That small break from reality that would allow me to gather my thoughts and feelings after learning Lennox’s hearing loss is permanent, and the week that followed.

She mentioned her mom might be home, and I never thought anything of it. She spoke of her so often, I was actually eager to meet her, eager to meet the woman who had given birth to and raised such a caring and compassionate human.

I just didn’t expect that woman to be Zara.

MyZara.

I spent months conjuring up scenarios where she and I bumped into one another, imagining all the things I would say, feeling giddy about all the things she would say.

Would the air still crackle? Would her touch still sear my skin? Would she remember me?

But this feels like some cruel twisted joke, life once again giving me a taste of what could be and then reminding me it never would. To make matters worse, she’s just as gorgeous as I remember, and from the way her friend Aubrey kept eyeing her when she wasn’t looking, I’m not the only one who’s noticed.

Jealousy I have no right feeling, burns through me. I hate the freedom they have to date and laugh and live, wanting that so badly for myself. Wanting to be able to prioritize my needs without the guilt of everything else coming second.

I move the food around my plate, my stomach too tangled up in knots to enjoy Raine’s cooking. When the struggle becomes too real, I move my cell closer to me on the table and quickly type out a message to Nina.

Can you please pick me up?

Where are you?

Raine’s house.

Okay, when?

Now.

Just call me now first. Pretend you have an emergency.

*heart emoji*

The thing about friends like Nina and Raine is they’re there for you no matter what. No questions and no conditions. So, I’m not surprised when Nina’s name lights up my screen, my cell vibrating against the wood of the dining table, not even a minute later.

“Hello,” I greet.

“Hey,” Nina says. “I don’t know what you want me to say, but I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“Oh no,” I say dramatically. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” she replies. “Am I? Probably not. I got my period today. Obviously, I’m always grateful I’m not pregnant, but does the pain have to be so bad? I almost wish I was.”

I try so hard not to roll my eyes as Nina babbles on, inserting enough responses to make the conversation believable.

“Of course I’ll come,” I tell her. “I’m just at Raine’s, but I’ll call for an Uber as soon as I finish my dinner. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Am I your Uber?” Nina asks.

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, pin drop me the location. I’m leaving now.”

“Perfect,” I say, relief coursing through me. “I’ll see you soon.”

I quickly follow up the call with the pin she needs to pick me up, and put my cell back on the dining table, feeling both Zara’s and Raine’s eyes on me.

Swallowing past the lie, I raise my head, and it’s uncanny how much they look alike when staring at me.