Page 47

“Perhaps she doesn’t do well under pressure,” Kiera continued. “And why should she have to? She’s been thrust into this life she knows nothing about, and they are trying to train her faster than any ryder ever. It can’t be good for her. Magic is a finesse. She can’t just be expected to produce it out of nowhere, especially if she’s been repressed her whole life.” Kiera shook her head. “The pressure will make it harder for her to bring it out.”

“Tell everyone else that. In their minds, she’s been chosen as a ryder and, therefore, should be blowing magic out of her arse.”

“If she was blowing magic out of her arse, I’d be impressed.” Kiera grinned, and I laughed. “But in all seriousness, is she showing any signs of it awakening at all? The Dragon’s Bane should be fully out of her system by now, so it’s not that holding her back.”

“None at all. Not even a spark. I’m worried they stole it from her permanently somehow.” I hadn’t spoken that fear out loud to anyone before. It felt good to get it off my chest.

“I don’t believe that’s possible, but before you brought Zaria here, I wouldn’t have believed it possible to hide a ryder and suppress their magic, either, so maybe I’m wrong. But I do believe magic is intrinsically tied to a soul and cannot be taken away. Would she even be a ryder anymore if her magic was forcibly removed?”

I lifted my hands palms up. “We’ve never dealt with anything like this, so how can anyone know? But I am beginning to feel like if she doesn’t show signs soon, they will try to replace me.”

Kiera gasped. “Can they?”

“I think the King could do anything he wanted.” I’d thought about it a lot. There was nothing stopping him.

“Surely, Octavian can’t continue to be the general. He’s not an Asra.”

“There’s always my brother.”

She made a face. “Kol doesn’t want it.”

“Can he refuse?” I exhaled heavily.

“Can they force him?” She had a point.

“It’s a mess, and every day they add more pressure, and Zaria hates me more.” Every turn felt like a dead end. Like the universe was blocking me.

“Can you tell them to back off ?”

“I’ve tried, but I am just a flyer, not a teacher. They think they know better than me, but I can feel her pulling away.” I set my half-finished mug aside and slumped lower in my seat. “I can’t find a balance.”

“You’ve got to find her some room to breathe.”

“But how?” I asked rubbing my temples. “We aren’t allowed to fly, which takes away the best part of training. I’ve waited my whole life to get to fly with my ryder, and now she hates me.”

She came over to sit next to me. “You have to let her see you. This you.”

“When? While we are training and she’s frustrated, when my brother is dominating her attention, or when I’m getting asked when she’ll be ready in every council meeting?” I winced and softened my tone. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to take it out on you.”

She rubbed my shoulder. “I know you’re not, and Kol is hard to ignore. It’s just his personality.”

“Believe me, I know, and usually I like the pressure taken off of me, but with Zaria, it’s all made harder by everything.” I wanted her to have friends and build the support she needed. I just also wanted her not to hate me.

“I can’t imagine. There has got to be a way to take the pressure off her.”

“Is there anything I can do to help draw her magic out? Or figure out why it’s repressed?”

“Hmm...” Her mouth twisted in a frown. “Have you gone through the texts to see if there has ever been a ryder with this issue before?”

“All the ones in the library.”

She thought about it for a moment. “Maybe you should try the healer’s library.”

“Can you let me in there? I’d ask permission but...”

“You don’t want bureaucratic hang-ups, and healers hate letting anyone have access to medical texts because they just misdiagnose themselves?”

“Or so healers tell us.” I gave her a grin.